Now many people think that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem for the ages, and most of them cannot live together harmoniously. Some people say that their contradictions are irreconcilable, that they are natural enemies.
So why is this happening?
If you ask the mothers-in-law, the mothers-in-law will say a lot, such as the daughters-in-law do not know how to honor the elderly. And the daughter-in-law will say how the mother-in-law does not understand ......
Listening to both sides say this, it feels like everyone has a point, and no one is wrong. But I wondered, why do they seem to be reasonable people, why can't they get along well?Is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really irreconcilable, as everyone says?
At first, I thought this was the case, but it wasn't until I saw a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who had a particularly good relationship and listened to their story that I understood what the problem was.
In an ordinary family in the countryside, the parents-in-law are less than 60 years old, and they do not have a pension, so life is a bit hard.
In the countryside, they mainly farm land, raise chickens and ducks, and occasionally go out to do odd jobs, and their health is not bad, and their lives are passable.
Their son is also considered to be promising, living in the city, marrying a daughter-in-law, and the two of them have settled in the city, which can be regarded as the pride of their parents. The son and daughter-in-law love each other, and they are filial to their parents. Such a peaceful life has made waves with the birth of the couple's child.
It turned out that with the birth of the child, the daughter-in-law could no longer go to work, and she taught her husband and children at home, but after a long time, there was a problem.
Because of the mortgage and car loan, and the need to raise a baby, the pressure on various living expenses is huge, and the man can't support himself when he goes to work alone. So the couple discussed letting their parents-in-law help take care of the children, and the daughter-in-law to go to work, so as to relieve the financial pressure.
But the house at home is not too big, if the mother-in-law and father-in-law come, it is not very convenient, and if the mother-in-law comes by herself, let the father-in-law leave the house alone, the couple feel that they owe the two elders, whether it is to the father-in-law or the mother-in-law.
After thinking about it, the son gave his parents a **, thinking that his parents would shirk it, but he didn't expect his mother-in-law to readily agree.
In this way, the mother-in-law came to help them take care of the children, and after the mother-in-law came, the daughter-in-law also successfully found a good job.
This daughter-in-law is also very thoughtful, she knows that her mother-in-law's conditions are not good, there is no pension, and the little savings when she was young, her son also paid a lot when she got married, so she has no money in her hand.
So the daughter-in-law put 2,000 yuan in the drawer, and told her mother-in-law that she would take the money when she went out to buy vegetables, and told her to buy whatever she wanted, and she would put it again if she didn't have it.
The mother-in-law heard her daughter-in-law say this, although she answered it, and the daughter-in-law didn't care, but after a while, the daughter-in-law felt that the money for vegetables should be almost used up, so she planned to put some more money in the drawer, but she opened the drawer and saw that the 2,000 yuan in it did not move.
The daughter-in-law pondered that her mother-in-law had not spent less money during this time, but why hadn't the money been touched at all, where did she get the money?Later, she thought that maybe her mother-in-law brought a little when she came.
Considering that her mother-in-law did not have much savings, and she was afraid that her daily expenses would not be enough, she put an extra 2,000 in the drawer, and told her mother-in-law to use the money to buy whatever she wanted, and keep her own money.
When my mother-in-law heard her daughter-in-law say this, she said that it is not easy for you to make money, and how much money can your mother bring?
When the daughter-in-law heard her mother-in-law say this, she understood that she would not be able to move her mother-in-law for a while, so she thought that after a while, when the money brought by her mother-in-law ran out, she would use the money.
Unexpectedly, after a while, the daughter-in-law found that the money was still not touched, so the daughter-in-law was a little puzzled, she calculated that her mother-in-law had been helping her take care of the children for a long time, and it also cost money to buy vegetables on weekdays, where did the mother-in-law get so much money?
She couldn't figure out what was going on, so she told her husband about it, and the two of them decided to find out the truth. On this day, she and her husband were resting at home, and saw that her mother-in-law was carrying a vegetable basket to buy vegetables again.
So the husband said: "Mom, it's rare that the two of us have a break today, you take the children and buy vegetables and cook on weekdays, it's hard work, I'll drive you to buy vegetables today!."”
When my mother-in-law heard this, she shook her head and said, "No, no, it's good for me to go by myself, and I can also relax by the way." After the mother-in-law finished speaking, she hurried away, for fear that her son would catch up.
And the daughter-in-law saw that it was useless, so she secretly went downstairs and followed behind her mother-in-law, she wanted to see why her mother-in-law had to go shopping for vegetables at five o'clock in the afternoon every day, and the key was that it didn't cost money.
The daughter-in-law followed her mother-in-law all the way, and unexpectedly, the mother-in-law did not go to the vegetable market, but went straight to a construction site. When she arrived at the gate of the construction site, her mother-in-law waved her hand inside, and then she waited for a while, and a man came out of the construction site a few minutes later.
When she saw each other's faces, her daughter-in-law was startled, at first she thought she was dazzled, but when she looked closely, she was shocked to realize that this was not her father-in-law
Didn't my mother-in-law say that my father-in-law didn't stay at home by himself in the countryside?Why are you here again?
The daughter-in-law hadn't figured out what was going on, but when she looked up, she found that her father-in-law and mother-in-law had gone to the vegetable market together, and she had to quietly follow again.
When I arrived at the vegetable market, I saw my mother-in-law buying vegetables or something, and my father-in-law paid on the side, and after buying vegetables, my father-in-law and mother-in-law went to the gate of the construction site together, and my father-in-law went back to the construction site, and my mother-in-law also rushed home.
Seeing such a picture, the daughter-in-law was moved to tears, she knew that the old couple lived a very poor life, because she was afraid that it would not be appropriate for the two to live together at the son and daughter-in-law's house, and the old couple would be inseparable for a lifetime.
Moreover, they know that their son and daughter-in-law's economy is not well-off, and if neither of them works, they use their son and daughter-in-law's money for everything, which will only increase their financial burden.
Find a job at the construction site, so that he has a place to live and food, although he is tired from working, but he can still earn some money to subsidize his son and daughter-in-law.
The daughter-in-law couldn't stand it anymore, so she went home and told her husband about it, and the son was also very uncomfortable after hearing it.
In the evening, the couple talked about it straight to the point, and said that they would take their father-in-law back to live together, afraid that their father-in-law and mother-in-law would not agree, and the couple also said that their father-in-law wanted to work to earn money, and they did not object, as long as he was in good health, don't be too tired.
The old couple couldn't resist their son and daughter-in-law, so they agreed with them. The father-in-law still insists on doing odd jobs to subsidize the family, the couple also work hard, and the mother-in-law takes good care of the children at home.
Perhaps, some people will say why I haven't had such a good mother-in-law?Some people say, why haven't I found such a sensible daughter-in-law?But is that really the case?
In fact, if the mother-in-law comes and complains all the time, or even if the mother-in-law and father-in-law do this, and the daughter-in-law sees that she doesn't know how to be grateful, I believe that there will be no such a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
So it's not necessarily that you didn't have a good mother-in-law, or maybe you didn't have a good daughter-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are definitely not irreconcilable contradictions, but it depends on how you choose to do things, what do you think?