This weekend, my mother-in-law just proposed the AA system, and my sister-in-law spent the weekend with her children. I have always believed that the family is actually the smallest social unit, and it is difficult to avoid kinship entanglements and contradictions between family members. This time, however, that perception changed in me.
My mother-in-law has always been a strong person, she has the final say, and we can only obey. But this time she proposed the AA system, and I was still a little surprised. In the past weekends, whenever my sister-in-law came with her children, my mother-in-law always complained about the hard work of taking care of the children and told me how to entertain the guests. However, this time, she proposed the AA system, which seemed to be a matter of course. It seems that her mother-in-law is gradually changing, and she no longer blindly asks others to accommodate her.
At noon on Saturday, my sister-in-law came to my house with her children. As soon as she arrived, she took out her phone and began to record her weekend life. I was a little overwhelmed and didn't understand what she meant. She told me with a smile that this is her favorite thing to do, recording every moment of the child's growth. Looking at the smile on her face, I realized that I had never really understood her. It turns out that she is also a person who loves life, but we have never had real communication.
At dinnertime, our family sat around the table. I was busy in the kitchen and brought out a table of hearty dishes. At this time, the mother-in-law took a closer look at the dishes and said coldly: "The meal fee for adults is 100, and the children are 50." "I rolled my eyes in my heart, this is not an AA system, it is clear that I am paying. But I held back and just said, "Okay, I got it." ”
At the dinner table, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law advised me to put down the chopsticks in my hand, saying that weekends are a time for families to get together, and I don't have to worry too much about money. I don't feel good in my heart, after all, since it's an AA system, my mother-in-law shouldn't eat my cooking for free. But looking at the child's smiling face, I put these unhappiness behind me again.
On Sunday morning, we decided to go to a nearby park as a family. The child took my hand and excitedly said that he was going to run on the grass. My sister-in-law and I smiled and looked at the child's cheerful appearance, and my mood was much better. However, while we were having fun, a small car suddenly rushed over, scaring our family into running for their lives.
Oops, what's wrong with you guys?Guy who doesn't have long eyes!The mother-in-law scolded angrily, muttering incessantly. My sister-in-law looked at the child worriedly, and I quickly comforted the child, for fear that he would be frightened. At this time, my mother-in-law suddenly reminded me of the AA system and stared at my sister-in-law and me: "The cost of this trip has to be AA system, 100 meals for adults and 50 for children." ”
After a while, we found a quiet place to sit down, and my sister-in-law suddenly said to me, "Actually, I've been feeling a little bothered like you lately. She confessed to me that her mother-in-law's attitude was becoming more and more unbearable for her, but she was not good at confronting her mother-in-law directly. I was a little surprised when I heard this, but I didn't expect her to feel the same way. We had a long conversation and found out that we had many of the same troubles and gradually became closer to each other.
When he got home, the child was already sleepy and went to bed early. My sister-in-law and I had another in-depth conversation. During the conversation, we actually laughed. It turned out that the proposal of the AA system was not the mother-in-law's, but the sister-in-law's idea. In this way, she wants to adjust her mother-in-law's attitude so that everyone can be more equal in the family.
Hearing this, I felt a little guilty, it turned out that I was blindly complaining and doubting, and my sister-in-law was not what I thought. Even though she wasn't kind enough to me verbally, she actually had a kind heart deep down. I began to re-examine our relationship and understand why my mother-in-law had become so strong. Perhaps, it's all because we never really sit down and have a good conversation.
I finished tidying up the table and prepared to take the children for a walk in the nearby park with my sister-in-law. At this time, the mother-in-law advised to stay at home and take care of the children. Originally, I was a little worried, but my sister-in-law didn't seem to mind, so we decided to go out first.
As soon as I walked out of the house, ** rang, it was my mother-in-law calling. She said the child was emotionally unstable and she couldn't cope. My heart tightened, and I quickly returned home. When I got home, I found that my mother-in-law couldn't comfort the child when she teased her left and right, and her mood was gradually declining.
I was a little unhappy in my heart, I didn't expect that such a small matter could not be solved. When my mother-in-law saw me enter the door, she hurriedly handed the child to me and said, "Come and see, I really can't handle it." ”
While comforting the child, he asked his mother-in-law what had happened. The mother-in-law explained that she tried to take the child to see the places she liked when she was a child, and she thought that the child would be happy, but she did not expect the child to lose control of his emotions. I took a deep breath, not expecting this little issue to cause such a big problem.
This incident gave me a headache and made me re-examine my attitude towards family conflicts. I continued to reassure the child and asked about my mother-in-law's situation with concern. At this moment, I understood that this family is not as simple as I imagined, and each member of the family has its own troubles and emotional entanglements. Perhaps, I need to understand everyone from the heart, rather than simply blaming or ignoring the existence of problems.
I was preparing breakfast in the kitchen when I suddenly heard my sister-in-law's voice in the living room, she was talking to her mother-in-law. I stopped what I was doing and listened intently. My sister-in-law's voice was a little excited: "Sister, it's really difficult for me to do it, the child's tuition has risen again, and I really can't make ends meet now." The mother-in-law's voice also sounded: "In this way, then you can just say it, I can help some of them, at least solve their tuition fees." ”
I subconsciously held the spoon in my hand and tried to suppress my emotions because it wasn't what she was supposed to say. I didn't really have to stay at the door, but I heard it. I feel a little uncomfortable, my mother-in-law has never mentioned that she wants to help me solve part of the tuition fees, and I don't need it!I know that the weekend meal has already cost a lot, so why should I help her?
The hand holding the spoon trembled a little, but I slowly walked out of the kitchen. Seeing the two people, the sister-in-law had a hint of panic on her face, and the mother-in-law had a serious face. I tried to calm my emotions and asked, "What's wrong?".What's the matter?”
The sister-in-law's face was a little red, but she finally spoke: "My youngest child's tuition is ** again, and I really can't afford it." ”
I looked at my mother-in-law and asked, "Why didn't you tell me about this?"Our guy's food bill is already very tight, and now we have to help her?”
After I finished speaking, my mother-in-law's eyes were a little gloomy, and she did not answer me immediately, but looked at my sister-in-law. In the end, she looked at me again and said lightly: "Obviously it is an AA system, my sister-in-law said that I should help me with this matter, and the tuition fee will be at least two or three thousand, I just want to help the children solve some things." ”
I choked back my tears, feeling the anger in my heart die out a little. Her words are not wrong, that is, I am determined to use the AA system to deal with this matter. But in this family, the relationship between family affection and money has always been entangled. I didn't know what to say, so I pursed my lips weakly. I understand that the current state of this home still has a long way to go.