In the past few days, Beijing ophthalmologist Tao Yong posted a long article to celebrate his daughter's birthday, but he didn't expect it to cause huge discussions, and the entry "Tao Yong's fertility controversy" rushed to the hot search. 
Many netizens sympathize with his daughter and feel that many of Tao Yong's behaviors are full of paternal rancidity. 
After carefully reading Tao Yong's long article, I feel that it is polite to say that Tao Yong is "raising a daughter", he is actually "training a daughter". "Raising women" is education, guidance, and training, and "training women" is discipline, coercion, and oppression. 
December 23 is the 12th birthday of his daughter Tao Tao, and many relatives and friends came to the family to congratulate her. He asked his daughter to grin when taking pictures, compare hearts, and pose, but if his daughter didn't cooperate, he disliked his daughter's temper and ignorance, "Why are you so happy when you play games and chat with netizens." ”
This is discipline, not education. A 12-year-old girl is about to enter the sensitive stage of youth, and it is normal not to want to be fiddled with in front of everyone. Of course she will be happy with her peers, free, comfortable, pure, let her cooperate with her father's request like a robot, of course she is not happy, is this so difficult to understand?Obviously, in Dr. Tao's place, it doesn't matter if her daughter is happy or not on her birthday, but it is important whether her father is happy or not. If he wants her to laugh, she must laugh, and if she doesn't laugh, she will be put on a "foul-tempered" and "dragged" hat, which has no meaning of respecting her daughter's feelings at all. After taking pictures, he asked for a lot during dinner. asked her daughter to serve rice to the elderly, make roast duck rolls for her uncle and aunt, and pick up vegetables for her mother, and her daughter "obediently complied". 
The phrase "obediently do it" is really enough to make people feel physically uncomfortable. It is conceivable how he frequently gave instructions to his daughter at the dinner table, "Serve rice, roll duck, and serve vegetables......The little girl followed the instructions and busied around, and looking obedient, he finally showed a satisfied smile on his face. Isn't that discipline what is?There are 365 days a year, 364 days to do these things, but today is her birthday, can't she stop eating this meal and enjoy the happiness of the stars holding the moon?No, he had to take advantage of everyone to be a demon. It's not enough to let your daughter do things at the dinner table, but you have to let your daughter wash the dishes of the whole family after eating. Even if it was difficult for all the guests to stop him, he still insisted on his opinion, and finally "invited his daughter out" of the room, fulfilling his father's wish. 
He also licked his face and said that he was "knowing with affection, moving with reason, citing from the side, and quoting scriptures", as if his daughter did not wash this bowl, the sky would fall, and the country would be ruined. Why are the guests desperately trying to block it?Because people feel embarrassed and can't stand it. A room full of adults, no illness, no disaster, arms and legs, have to "invite" a 12-year-old girl who has returned to the room to wash the dishes from the room, what kind of tutor is this?I see that some netizens say that children should learn housework, and I agree with this, both men and women should do housework, but the focus of the problem is not here at all. 
It is normal for a 12-year-old girl to help her parents wash the dishes, but a 12-year-old girl is forced by her father to wash the dishes of the whole family on her birthday. Dr. Tao's final sentence reveals his true motives, which is that he wants to discipline his daughter from a "witch" to a "lady". The difference between the so-called "witch" and "lady" is to remove personality and assertiveness, resistance and questioning from the daughter's brain, and plant the genes of obedience, meekness, and obedience. Adolescence is a critical period for a person to establish himself, so he does not dare to let go of any detail, and he must always remain vigilant against the revolution. "There's just that stuff in the structure of the brain, and once the perverse circuits are formed, you can't format it. ”
When his daughter can become a person who makes people laugh, picks up vegetables, and washes dishes, he will be completely done. This is not education, education is above all to allow a person to be himself, to have an independent will,Dr. Tao wanted the exact opposite. This dishwashing storm is not a father teaching his daughter to improve life skills, but a middle-to-upper echelon of a patriarchal system trying to show his family and friends the majesty of patriarchy and the fruits of educationYou see that my daughter is well-behaved and supple, obedient and sensible, and is a good hand at housework and serving people. 
Phew. Memories of what was once dead are attacking me again. My father was such a person who believed in "teaching his daughter in person", as long as there were guests in the house, he would direct me so that my feet did not touch the ground, "boiling water, making tea, taking cigarettes, setting dishes and chopsticks......"It doesn't matter if I work, I can cook in junior high school, but what is annoying is that he will pay attention to scolding and accusing me in front of outsiders, disliking me for being stupid and lazy. He also exaggerated some of my troubles and told them to outsiders as a joke. He enjoyed the feeling of having the absolute upper hand, I was a pawn at his mercy, a pawn in his exclusive kingdom, irrelevant and at his disposal. And the same housework, my brother doesn't have to do, the reason was that he was young, but when he grew up, he changed it to, "You are a woman, you should do it." Tao Yong's little sister "Ophthalmology Superman Lao Liang" posted a post to defend him, saying how he loves the ophthalmology career and how sincere and kind he treats his family and colleagues, I believe in these.
I also believe that Dr. Tao loves his daughter, and it is because of love that he wants her to live according to the worldview as she understands it. His worldview is that "a woman's happiness needs a man", and he is afraid that his daughter will not need a man because she is too independent and assertive, or will not be liked by men.
So he has a heavy responsibility and is worried, because he is afraid that his daughter will grow up to be like those female doctors around him, "independent, not dependent on men, intelligent, high-minded, stubborn and arrogant." ”
This Senior Sister Liang is very interesting, she originally wanted to defend her senior brother, but after a few words, it was more solid for netizens' criticism of Tao Yong, and the character overturned more thoroughly. She said that her brother was unsophisticated, simple and youthful, and expressed his feelings directly, and said that he was too busy with work, and he couldn't see his family a few times a week, and it was rare to get together once, but he made a greasy behavior in front of relatives and friends to show how sensible his daughter was.
She said that her senior brother never chickened the baby, respected her daughter's talent, and completely let her daughter go in her studies, but she implemented the feudal patriarchal style for her daughter in the trivial matter of washing the dishes or not laughing.
She said that Tao Yong was not the kind of "daddy man", and said that he had hoped to transform her into a lady.
Whenever female doctors suffer setbacks in their careers and encounter bottlenecks in their projects, he always persuades them, "If you don't get married, why bother to study for a doctorate." ”
If that's not daddy, I don't really know what daddy is. Dr. Tao Yong, one of the country's top ophthalmologists who has helped thousands of patients regain their sight, shocked the nation when he was slashed by an assailant, and his dedication to returning to the front line of surgery after recovering from his injuries is admirable. But a man with a brilliant career may be clichéd in terms of gender, and there is no contradiction between the two. Dr. Tao Yong himself once said that his mother would not allow him to do housework if he wanted to, and he must not have time to do it, but his daughter must be able to not only cultivate from an early age, but also be educated and disciplined from the depths of his thoughts, "This is your duty, if you don't do this, no one wants it." Yu Minhong, the "iron teacher" in Luo Yonghao's mouth, an industry boss, is not bad, and his heart is very soft, he once made a grand statement of "female sexual degeneration", "Now China is because of the degeneration of women that has led to the degeneration of the whole country." "It's a big black cauldron and throws it directly on the head of the Chinese woman. Who would have thought that a big man in the education industry, a senior intellectual who graduated from Peking University, is still immersed in the level of straight male cancer of "red face and troubled water" and "fox spirit misleading the country" in the cognition of gender relations. This ridiculous statement made him bitterly criticized by the whole country, and he made a special trip to the All-China Women's Federation to apologize, but it did not calm the turmoil. This is where we are now, and the saddest thing in China is"Many industry bigwigs and elites in the industry have not gone out of the Qing Dynasty on the issue of the relationship between men and women. ”
100 help plan
Each of them alone has something to admire and appreciate, and they have made outstanding contributions in their respective fields, but they may be the worst husbands, the most domineering fathers, and the most chauvinistic men. It's bad luck to be their daughter. The more loved, the more unlucky. The path they have pointed them to, the thoughts that have been planted in their heads, are wrong. Just like Dr. Tao Yong, he does not feel that forcing his daughter to wash dishes is an oppressive discipline, he proudly shows off his achievements in "parenting", and feels that he has cultivated a qualified lady for society. He is doing evil, but he doesn't know it.