Have you noticed that in life, those middle-aged women who are doing well are really smart. Look at them, dressed in bright clothes, full of confident smiles, with a face that can't tell how old they are, they speak appropriately without losing measure, and they are decisive and just right, so that everyone who comes into contact with them is like a spring breeze.
This kind of woman, whether it is marriage, emotion, educating children, or interpersonal relationships, can be well maintained, switching back and forth in a variety of roles, and each role can be well controlled.
Maybe you are very curious, what are the advantages of such women, in fact, if you think about it carefully, you will find that their intelligence lies in knowing how to control their own lives, live the life they want, do not be wronged, do not compromise, and will not lose themselves for anyone, especially these three things, will never do.
01 Blindly please
As a woman, if she doesn't know how to make herself happy and happy, but pleases and caters to others against her will, then she will be looked down upon and even disliked all her life.
is like the pine nuts in the highly discussed movie "The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nut" some time ago.
Since she was a child, in order to please her father, she scandalized herself and made a grimace, just to make her father laugh;His father wanted Matsuko to go to college, and Matsuko obediently got admitted to college;His father wanted Songzi to be a teacher, and Songzi became a ** teacher according to his father's wish.
Anyway, as long as it is what her father expects, Matsuko tries her best to meet it, never refuses or even refutes, she is worried that because she does not listen to her father's opinion, her father no longer loves her and is no longer good to her, so she blindly compromises and pleases.
Later, the same was true of the pine nuts in the emotional situation. She has had emotional entanglements with 5 men in her life, but in the end she did not have a good home, but went to prison.
The first man Matsuko fell in love with was a writer, and she tried her best to please her, but in exchange for the writer's fists and kicks on her, even if Matsuko suffered silently, she still faced the fate of being abandoned;
Later, he fell in love with the husband of the wife, thinking that he was sincere to her, but in fact, the other party was just having a playful mentality and didn't take her seriously at all;
Later, Songzi fell in love with a third man, even if the other party asked her to sell her body to make money for him, Songzi was willing to do it, but in the other party's heart, Songzi was as humble as a mustard;
It can be said that in every relationship, Songzi devotes himself and pays wholeheartedly, and devotes all his energy to loving people, even if it is humble without a bottom line, but in exchange for contempt and disgust.
As the saying goes: To love someone, it is enough to love to seven points, and there are three points to keep and love yourself. Love is too full, and it is not happiness for him, but a burden.
02 Over-reliance
As a smart woman, you must be independent and confident and live your own life. Only by relying on oneself can you create your own happiness. Relying too much on and expecting oneself, waiting for oneself can only be complete disappointment and despair.
I think of a neighbor upstairs in my house, I met her in the vegetable market some time ago. She was buying cucumbers, and she bought them at a discount, which was curled and had no moisture at all. When she saw me, she was a little embarrassed and said that such cucumbers should be taken back and mixed with pickles to eat.
She was wearing a large loose sweater with a lot of hairballs on it, her hair was tied casually at the back of her head, and her face looked gray.
She was just 35 years old and looked very old. When she first got married, she was not like this, at that time she worked as a warehouse clerk in a factory, and she cleaned herself up neatly every day, with a pair of big eyes on her bulging face, and she was particularly good-looking.
At that time, there were a lot of people who took a fancy to her, and she was able to marry her husband because the man's family conditions were good, and the man swore that he would support her for a lifetime.
A few years after marriage, she quit her job because she was taking care of the children at home, and she lost a lot of money just in time for the recession of her husband's restaurant. Her husband was in a bad mood, and when he saw that she was getting more and more unpleasant, he thought she didn't do anything, so he knew that he reached out and asked for money.
Once, she made pork ribs and ate two more pieces, but her husband didn't have a good face, saying that she didn't make money, and she picked delicious ones to eat.
Later, when she ate, she picked up something that everyone didn't want to eat, the cheap thing, the wilted cucumber, which she bought for herself.
She said that she was looking for a job recently, and she went out to make money by herself, so that she had the confidence to have a straight waist, people, no one should expect it, and everyone would be empty in the end.
Yes, how many women woke up after being beaten by reality. There is a saying that is particularly good: women must always learn to be independent and strong. Even if the two of you are separated one day, you will not lose the ability to stand and walk alone, and you will not be heartbroken to feel that you have lost the whole world without him.
03 Treat yourself badly
What is it like to be a woman who is not good to yourself?
I saw a small story: once I went to eat wontons with my husband, I first watched **: 1 tael of wontons 6 pieces, 2 taels of 7 pieces, 3 taels of 8 pieces, a steamed dumpling of 5 pieces, I thought about it for a long time, ordered a steamed dumpling and a three taels of wontons, and said to my husband, this is more cost-effective, let's eat together, my husband looked at me incomprehensibly, with disdain in his eyes.
Seeing this, what do you think?Do you think that women are too stupid and even stingy with being kind to themselves, but what did she get in exchange for doing this, but her husband despised and looked down on her.
is like Zhang Zhizhi in the TV series "Dear Yourself", she is willing to spend as much money as her family spends, but she is only herself.
My husband bought her a thermos cup, she asked **200, she was reluctant to use it, she returned it, and used the previous plastic cup, but her husband bought the same model for other women.
Her husband's monthly salary is more than 10,000 yuan, but she carries a bag of dozens of dollars purchased online, and her clothes have not been changed for several years, her hair is not done, and she does not wear makeup.
However, the things that children use, no matter how expensive they are, eat potato chips, and throw them into the trash immediately after they expire, and children go to training classes, and they also pick the best;Treat her mother-in-law, she is also very generous, her mother-in-law is sick and hospitalized, she buys a pigeon for her mother-in-law to make soup to drink, and says that no matter how expensive it is, you have to buy it;Look at her husband again, the whole body is full of famous brands, and he looks like him;Only she herself was the most shabby, hunched over, with her head shrunk, and she didn't look confident. She is like this, her husband not only appreciates it, but sees her more and more unpleasant, and secretly likes other women.
So you see, Zhang Zhizhi and the women who ate wontons mentioned earlier are poor and not smart enough women, they are not good to themselves, how can others treat you well, you don't love yourself, and others won't love you, and in the end, they will be abandoned like an old rag.
Conclusion:
Speaking of which, women still have to learn to be good to themselves, enhance their own value, know how to manage themselves, and make themselves excellent and confident, which is the condition and ** for happiness.
Some people say that the only reason to be loved is to become a person worthy of love. And the premise of being worthy of love is to be the best version of yourself, not blindly please, not overly dependent, know how to love yourself, and then you will find that life will be better because of your changes, and everything given to you will not be less, but will be relatively more, don't believe you try it.
End text: Zhou and Yu original debut.
*Selected from the Internet, please contact for infringement.