On the stage of life, there is a sentence that often makes people think deeply: "Reach out in the bed and find out the details." Another way of saying it is: "Wipe your tears from the bed and grieve alone." These two statements all teach us that lovers must choose carefully before they become husband and wife, and do not wait until they get married to find out the truth about each other, and then they begin to regret and toss the marriage.
This warning applies not only to lovers, but also to us as parents. We need to understand the truth that "ginger is still old and spicy", look back on the detours we have taken, especially before our children get married, or even before looking for a suitable partner, and take the initiative to share our experiences and lessons. Cultivating children's correct concept of marriage is far more important than blaming them for finding the wrong partner and marrying the wrong person.
Generally speaking, before getting married, understanding the details of the following aspects can help us avoid unnecessary losses, and even leave decisively when the time is ripe to stop losses in time.
01 The wrestling of money.
No matter how luxurious the wedding is, it is all realized with the support of money. No matter how good the relationship between husband and wife is, daily hugs cannot be regarded as staple food. Therefore, 80% of the conflicts within a family are related to money. Chronic poverty is often one of the causes of marital breakdown.
Young people should not think they have found the right partner just because they are affluent right in front of them. Need to know more about the other party's financial situation and trace back to the money**. This can be considered from four aspects: parental sponsorship, their own hard work, wisdom monetization, and illegal means. Choosing a partner with ideals and backbone, rather than blindly chasing someone who appears to be wealthy, is an important part of ensuring a financially sound marriage.
02 Hidden dangers of pension.
The way the other parent's pension will directly affect the quality of the child's marriage. With the development of the times, there are various ways to provide for the elderly, but the effects are very different. Some elderly people rely on savings, pensions, and even a third of an acre of land in their hometown, while others may rely on alimony for their children.
The daughter-in-law hopes that her parents-in-law can think long-term about the issue of providing for the elderly, instead of always putting the responsibility on the son's head. The daughters-in-law hope that the parents-in-law can plan the way of pension rationally and wisely, instead of family conflicts caused by the preference for women over men. The way in which the issue of old-age care is dealt with is directly related to family harmony and future happiness.
03 Health considerations.
The health of the other family member also has a profound impact on future generations. Health is the most valuable asset in life, and when one person gets sick, the whole family suffers. When choosing a partner, it is crucial to know the health history of the other person's family, especially considering the continuation of the marriage. This includes conducting a pre-marital health check-up to learn more about the physical condition of the grandparents to ensure that future generations are in good physical condition.
Health problems are not only related to medical expenses, but can also affect the relationship between husband and wife due to long-term care and other household expenses. Therefore, being honest about health issues before marriage can effectively reduce uncertainty about the future and lay a solid foundation for married life.
04 Attention to detail.
Lao Tzu once said: "Difficult things in the world must be done easily; The big things in the world must be done in detail. "Marriage is a major life event, and you can't afford to be sloppy, let alone ignore some seemingly small details. The romance of love will dissipate over time, and the large-scale wedding stage will end sooner or later, leaving us with an ordinary life.
Preparations for money, health, pension, filial piety, childcare, work, etc., should be timely and thoughtful. It is the responsibility of parents to remind their children that they will avoid detours on the road to marriage. As children, you should keep in touch with your parents, listen to their experiences, and don't explore alone in the fog of marriage.
Remember, a lover will eventually become a family, and a person with a heart will be able to achieve happiness. By focusing on these aspects, we are able to get to know each other more deeply, enter each other's hearts, and build a strong bridge for a good marriage.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program