Hello everyone, I'm "little him", after reading this article, you can click on it if you think it's good".Attention”。He has material and focuses on funny.
I took the high-speed train home today, and I wanted to put the chair flat and lie down more comfortably, but after adjusting the seat for a long time, there was no ...... reaction at all
At this time, the uncle who was sitting next to me, who was already lying flat, patted me and said to me in a dumb voice, "That .......", your chairback button is ...... on your other side”
I was embarrassed and wanted to laugh!
In junior high school geography class, the geography teacher was talking about the southernmost and northernmost points of China when he found Zhang Gang sleeping.
The teacher slapped the table and shouted, "Zhang Gang, can you answer where is the southernmost and northernmost point of China?" ”
Zhang Gang stood up and replied confidently: "The southernmost point is the South Pole, and the northernmost section is the North Pole. ”
After hearing this, the teacher scolded: "You think China is the earth."
The whole class burst into laughter!
The first time I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner, on the way I asked, "Do I want to do your mother's cooking?" Did your dad drink a lot? The girlfriend replied: "You don't have to help my mother, just chat with her, my dad is drunk and never drinks." "I'm relieved to hear my girlfriend say that! But who would have thought that her father's stir-fry was so fragrant! Her mom is really good at drinking!
On a rainy day, please eat hot pot with beautiful women. When I entered the store, the myopia lenses were full of fog, so I took them off.
I vaguely saw a dun cloth head on the ground, in order to show that I was of high quality in front of the beauties.
So he stomped his feet on the muddy cloth of his shoes.
It's not a dun cloth, it's a long-haired dog lying on the ground!
In the end, I was chased half a street by that dog!
One day, a lady walked into a shoe store, tried on a pair of shoes, and said to the salesperson, "These shoes are a little tight." The salesman replied, "It's all right, ma'am, the shoes will come loose after a long time." The lady thought for a moment, then said, "Then I'd better get another pair, I don't like my feet getting so big." ”
My wife loves to sleep very lazy, and on weekends she sleeps darkly, today I finally couldn't help it, and I woke her up from her sleep very angrily: "Didn't you eat breakfast, didn't you cook lunch?" If you don't go grocery shopping, the market will run out of vegetables! She seemed to know that she was wrong, rubbed her sleepy eyes and said softly: "Okay, I know, you go to my bag and get 50 yuan, and come back quickly after buying vegetables!" You are only allowed to take 50, and if you dare to take more legs, you will break them! Great! ”
My sister just got her driver's license, and she wanted to take me on a one-day road trip, and she readily agreed! Early the next morning, I received his ** and said: "I'm ready to go out, you clean up, and I'll be there in half an hour!" As soon as I hung ** for a while, I called again, only to hear the sigh and say, "Forget it!" If you don't go, the car can't be reversed! ”
When I went to work this morning, I found that my colleague was willing to cut the seaweed that he had lived for half a year, and I asked him in surprise: "Why are you willing to cut your hair, is it cool?"
He said to me with a sincere face: "It's not two, it's twenty-eight!" “
At that time, I rolled on the floor with laughter and said, "I didn't expect you to lose not only your seaweed, but also your IQ." “
Oops, I'm dripping mom,"You've not just lost your seaweed, you've lost your IQ."The laughter is out of control, and I am laughing to death! 」
My parents had lived in the countryside for most of their lives, and they didn't have any entertainment hobbies.
After moving to the city where I work in the last two years, my mother fell in love with square dancing and went to activities every afternoon.
Today, I went to the square to see my mother and found that my mother danced so well!
When I got home, I said to my dad, "Dad, mom is dancing so well now." ”
Unexpectedly, my dad came to me at the time: "Well, what a fart, like a duck, stroke by stroke." ”
My mother was immediately angry: "I see you are playing a lantern in the toilet, looking for death!" “
Hey, perhaps, in the eyes of my parents, I will never feel the word romance anymore.
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