Maybe you, like me, often have dinners and small gatherings.
A group of people sit around for tea, meetings, or eating and drinking. But it doesn't mean that you have a deep understanding of a person because of this, but some people seem to be very cautious and hide their thoughts.
People who have been together, and when they meet later, they are not necessarily very enthusiastic, but they are more embarrassed. If you can't even remember the other person's name, you're embarrassed.
It can be seen that eating and gathering cannot retain true feelings, and the effect of socializing is also discounted.
In the bottom of our hearts, we like to pursue authenticity in social interactions, hoping for comfort and help.
The person who cares about me, I will also care about him, otherwise they will be fine.
Therefore, the best way to socialize is not to eat and party, but to get to know someone.
Understand the habits of others, and interact with them more warmly.
If you've ever given someone a gift, you must have the annoyance: "I don't know what the other person likes." ”
When faced with a customer who doesn't smoke or drink, you give him cigarettes and alcohol, and you spend a lot of money, but the customer doesn't buy it. Because the cigarettes and alcohol you send are thrown aside at will, the customer will also have the trouble of "not knowing how to deal with it".
A customer who never eats spicy food, you invited him to a Hunan restaurant and a Sichuan restaurant, and ordered red oil chili soup. The customer frowned, ate a little bit, and probably began to hate you in his heart. Or, the customer thinks you're acting with bad intentions.
A middle-aged boss who takes a nap every day, but you arrange a lunch party. After the boss arrived, he dozed off constantly, and then left the table early. Or your boss simply rejects your invitation.
All of the above examples are because you don't understand the other person's habits, which leads to the reduction of the interaction effect.
There is a proprietress who has opened a rice noodle shop in the county seat.
As long as the customers who have been to her store can become repeat customers. The reason is very simple, because of the customer's taste habits, she remembered it, and as soon as she opened her mouth, she said: "Same as last time, I want a bowl of clear soup rice noodles, not chopped green onions?" ”
When customers arrive at the store, they can see their favorite flavor of rice noodles without talking, and they feel very enthusiastic.
There is a ** person who said: "God makes us accustomed to all kinds of things, and it is to use it instead of happiness." ”Understand the habits of others, and meet the habits of others, life can be warm, and truly feel "at home". If you can do it, whether you are in business or in the workplace, you can play the emotional card.
Understand other people's ideals and help to be more accurate.
Many parents don't know what industry their children want to engage in and what specific work they do, so they blindly command; There are also some parents who forcibly let their children pursue their ideals according to their own ideas, causing conflicts between the two generations.
As an adult, you choose topics that others "want it to be", but what you think is good. As a result, others are not very interested in your topic.
Remember, everyone subconsciously thinks, "My ideals are the best." "Moreover, people know their ideals best, and related topics are the most interested.
There is a teacher named "Aiyang" who teaches children to write essays on the topic of "something I like".
The student Xiaohua wrote "My Favorite Piano". The essay reads: "I have a lot of pianos in my house, red, blue, and white.
The teacher thought about it, Xiaohua is a fellow student, and he must not be able to put down so many pianos. Moreover, the piano is very expensive, and the family can't afford it. Extrapolating, you can see that Xiaohua is bragging, and the content of the composition is too virtual.
For Xiaohua's composition, the teacher did not give a good evaluation. Xiaohua was very sad because of this.
A few days later, the teacher went to Xiaohua's house to make a home visit, and found that there was a sick father at home, and Xiaohua made a piano out of paper, which was colorful and placed on the desk.
Xiaohua's mother said, "Teacher, Xiaohua likes the piano. But the family didn't have the money to buy it, so there was no way to send her to learn piano. She made a lot of paper pianos. ”
The teacher is ashamed that he does not know the child's ideals enough.
The writer Chernyshevsky said: "Human activity becomes empty and insignificant if it is not inspired by ideals." ”If you ignore other people's ideals, your space for socializing with others will become small.
Remember one word – different paths lead to the same end. Everyone takes different paths, but they are all pursuing a happy life. Therefore, you have to respect the path chosen by others and retain the true feelings along the way.
Understand other people's families and be more empathetic in social interactions.
There was a salesman who knocked on the big boss's office door.
The big boss has no interest in the pen in the salesman's hand.
The salesman cleverly found that there were many posters on the big boss's desk. Obviously, this is something that little girls like.
A few days later, the salesman came to the office again with a particularly beautiful sticker: "This is for your daughter, he will love it." ”
Naturally, the salesman hand did the business smoothly.
There is a word called "love house and wu".
Whoever you want to interact with, you have to interact with the people around you. And the best "people around you" are "who's" relatives.
If you want to do business with the boss, but you hate the boss's son, then there is a high probability that the business will not be done. The boss is at home, which is the role of the father, and he will also protect the short.
As a boss, when you care about your subordinates, you also care about your subordinates' parents, and this favor must be deeply memorable.
How do we get to know a person in real life?
The first is to use a good observation method, quietly look at other people's words and deeds, and remember some key details. The more details that appear, the one who knows a person the most.
The second is to learn to chat privately. Through face-to-face communication, elicit something that is inconvenient to say in a crowd. Your understanding of people is no longer at the level of "everyone says".
The third is to properly contact friends of friends, relatives of relatives, and get to know a person from the side.
Everyone wants someone to care about them, but they don't want to take the initiative to pour bitter water, they won't dig their hearts and lungs in the group, and there is still a sense of defensiveness.
You can get to know a person, you can do something, and it's much easier and more practical to socialize.