Here's what a reader wrote:
When I met my husband, he had an apartment with a loan of more than 100,000 yuan and a car without a loan (worth more than 100,000 yuan), and both credit cards were overdrawn (the overdraft amount was about 100,000 yuan), and his monthly income was less than 5,000 yuan. At that time, I was still a little puzzled: living in a provincial capital city with a monthly salary of 5,000, how could I have the courage to buy a house and a car. However, the husband did just that.
Her husband's hometown is in the countryside, his father died of illness when he was in high school, his mother is in her 60s (when I met my husband), and my husband has four older brothers and one older sister. His older brother and sister were farmers.
The reason why I was willing to fall in love with my husband in the first place and get married was because he grew up in my aesthetic system.
What I know during my relationship with my husband: Before my husband met me, he had an ex-girlfriend who had been in a relationship for 4 years, and the other party was relatively beautiful. Regarding the reason why the husband broke up with the other party, the husband's statement: The two people have accumulated too many contradictions in the trivial matters of life. My understanding: the other party thinks her husband is poor.
I am a local native, after graduating from university, I joined my father's company to work, and now, the company is fully managed by me, and the company makes an annual profit of about 1.2 million yuan.
After marrying my husband, I helped him pay off his foreign debts, and during this period, my husband offered to work in my company, but I refused. I am true in my heart: my husband and wife working in the same company will weaken my prestige in the company.
During this period, in order not to make my husband feel inferior because I made a lot of money, my husband was in charge of the family's money. What I didn't expect was that in two years, my husband actually hid it from me and spent 240,000 yuan on his ex-girlfriend. After the matter was revealed, her husband's quibble: Your annual salary is 1.2 million, don't be too stingy.
What makes me angry: the husband is in constant contact with his ex-girlfriend, not the husband spending money himself. Today, the divorce process is ongoing.
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
In the process of managing a marriage, what behaviors will make your lover feel disgusting?
First, if you get cheap, you still sell well.
When choosing a marriage partner, it will basically form a relative match between appearance and family background, or a relative complementarity between appearance and family background. Although after the formation of the marriage result, people should be indifferent to the sense of who is bargaining and who suffers, but when they belong to the party with relatively little pay, they should at least have a sense of gratitude. The funny thing is that some people will take their lover's contribution to you for granted, and will even take a squirping posture at some point. At this time, you explain the search in front of your lover: You make more money than me anyway. What I want to say is that everyone will show a more shrewd side, and the key is not to use shrewdness on your lover, because the other party is not stupid. Don't you think it's really disgusting that you get cheap and sell your face?
2. Charity in the field of feelings.
If you really love someone, you will show a minimum desire for domination and ensure the uniqueness of this relationship, at this time, those people of the same age and the opposite sex and the so-called ex around you will lose their color in your eyes. It's a pity that there are always some people who have an empty mouth in a relationship, but they hurt their lover with practical actions. Common phenomena include: allowing yourself to play the role of a philanthropist in the field of feelings, and acting out the drama of showing mercy everywhere. What I want to say is that people can do charity, but they need to use kindness in ideas, not in the emotional field. Remind all people in the besieged city that maintaining a minimum sense of boundary with the opposite sex outside of marriage is morality and cultivation, not after something happens, giving quibbles.
3. Lack of a minimum concept of honor and disgrace.
Love is joy at first sight, if you want to make the road of love develop in the direction of growing old together, not only do not take the initiative to break up, but also need to take care of your lover's feelings in a state of empathy; Hate is accumulated bit by bit, once you always do something to make your lover sad in the process of managing your marriage, even if you used to love you very much, your inappropriate words and deeds will dilute your love. For this reason, as an adult, we must have a minimum view of honor and disgrace, and we must understand the principle of courtesy and exchange, instead of holding the selfish idea that only the governor is allowed to set fire and not allow the people to light the lamp, and in life I have low requirements for myself but give high standards to my lover. Once you lack the most basic concept of honor and disgrace, it will inevitably make your lover accumulate too much dissatisfaction with your behavior in the world, and when you are disappointed and save enough, you will be cool.
Fourth, after making a mistake, hit a rake.
What's more funny is that some people have done things that hurt their lovers, and when their lovers reprimanded them, not only did they not reflect on their mistakes, but instead beat them up: saying that their lovers are not generous enough to understand your distress and helplessness. What I want to say is, is your helplessness and distress an interpretation of having no sense of boundaries with the opposite sex outside of marriage? Or, you have obviously done something cheating, and you still have to reflect on your lover's lack of charm and inability to make you promise to be loyal to your marriage and apologize to you? It takes a process to build up disappointment, so much so that the result of a breakup or divorce is often a deliberate decision. It means that when a person can say the word breakup or divorce in front of you relatively calmly, it is not that the other party is angry with you, but after thinking calmly, he feels that it is not worth continuing to live with you, and he will not play with you anymore.
Regarding the emotional entanglement between your husband and you and his ex-girlfriend, I believe that even if his ex-girlfriend is beautiful enough, after the two of them changed their relationship, the experience has already taken on a rotten peach blossom state; Before your husband met you, he took a monthly salary of about 5,000 yuan, and lived a life of eating and drinking, flipping credit cards, and paying off mortgages, and his situation must be quite embarrassing, which means that you once had a kindness to your husband to save him from the dire situation, but after the results of your marriage were formed, he was worried about the beauty of his ex-girlfriend, so as to deduce the scar and forget the pain; Your trust in your husband and your accommodation and condescension make your husband lose himself and think how great he is, but in fact, the aura you give him has won him an enviable state.
The thing that makes you sad is that after your husband revealed the truth that you spent 240,000 yuan on his ex-girlfriend without telling you, your husband did not apologize at all, but used your comparison of money as a breakthrough and gave you a more stingy sarcasm. I don't know if it's because your husband doesn't have the best IQ and EQ, or if your husband doesn't really care about your relationship at all. In short, you feel disgusted from your husband's sophistry and give a divorce decision. It can be seen that divorce is a more rational decision for you, so follow your own choice. Regarding the future life, there is no need to pay attention to whether your husband will get the revenge he deserves, and there is no need to pay attention to whether your husband will live a messy life, run his business well, and give love a chance when he meets his lover.
Editor's note: The environment and platform are too important to a person, but some people are fortunate enough to meet Bole who appreciates them, but they are not grateful to Bole, but feel that they are more amazing. Until one day, because he was too self-righteous, he left or was eliminated from a more comfortable environment and platform, and he found that he lacked the world to display his talents.
Marriage is not a product in a safe, if you want a relationship in exchange for the result of growing old together, it is not a marriage certificate that can eliminate all worries, because in the process of managing marriage, you also need to be attentive and understand each other's truths. If you don't know how to cherish it in your feelings, after your lover is disappointed, you will inevitably withdraw from you, and at that time, who regrets it is, who knows.
Marriage **from the Internet, **unrelated)