Here's what a reader wrote:
When I was in love with my wife, I was the driver of the owner of a private company, and my wife worked in another private company. Because I was loyal and my family was poor, I was past the marriageable age and still couldn't find a marriage partner. One day, my boss told me that his friend wanted to introduce me to a marriage partner, so I met my wife (my boss's so-called friend was the boss of the company my wife worked for at the time).
When I first saw my wife, I was attracted by her outstanding appearance, but I also knew that I had a few pounds and a few taels, so I politely rejected the relationship (I felt that I was not worthy of my wife at all, or in other words, even if I got the result of marrying my wife, I couldn't help my wife). What I didn't expect was that my wife messaged me every now and then: asking me to go shopping and dinner. After spending time with my wife, I found that she was not the same as the beauty I stereotyped, and I felt that my wife was kind and approachable. In this case, in exchange for the result of my wife and I getting married.
The year after we got married, our child was born. After having children, I had more ideas about my future plans, so I resigned from my original unit and started a small business.
In the blink of an eye, my wife and I have been married for 6 years and our children are 5 years old, but my wife said something to me that I find difficult to accept: I am not the biological father of our children. The reason why my wife confessed to me about this is because my wife's biological father, the boss of the employer, wants to fight for custody of the child (the other party and his wife have a girl, and his wife has been weak and sick in recent years, and there is no possibility of having a second child; The other party also had the idea of reorganizing the family with my wife, but in the process of my wife's relationship with me, the emotional balance gradually tilted to my side, and she was unwilling to divorce me).
I am now true in my heart: I have suffered great humiliation. Therefore, I took the initiative to file for divorce: I couldn't see my wife dirty, and I couldn't accept the reality that my children were not related to me.
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
What are some of the actions of women that are often not forgiven by men?
1) Betrayal in the emotional sphere.
In this day and age, cases of extramarital affairs do not seem to cause people to be surprised, but they can cause public outrage. In the case of extramarital affairs, there is an unfair phenomenon: after a man cheats, the probability of being forgiven by a woman is quite high, but after a woman cheats, she will basically face the result of being kicked out of the siege. Some women may feel that this treatment is a bit unfair, but the home seems to be a place that is not very fair, because many things need to be agreed upon by the husband and wife. It means that once one of them is determined to divorce, he also needs to accept the divorce result against his will if he is unwilling to divorce. Remind all women: please don't overcomplicate your love path, especially after marriage, be sure to be faithful to your marriage.
2) Before getting married, I had the experience of being a junior.
The reason why men can accept women who have been married, but it is difficult to accept women who have been a third party before marriage, is because people also have so-called moral judgments in their minds. People's perception of women who have been married: they have had the experience of married life through serious channels, but it is only in married life that irreconcilable contradictions arise between husband and wife, which leads to the collapse of marriage. Although a man who has no marriage history finds a woman with a marriage history to marry, sometimes he will not be able to hang his face, but he will also increase some compassion under the drive of true love. But a man who has been a lover to a married man before marriage, in the perception of men and the world, belongs to the category of disorderly private life, which will make people feel that such women are morally corrupt, so that when the truth is exposed, it is difficult for men to bear.
3) Secretly had a child with the opposite sex outside of marriage.
People can accept that after getting married, if both parties reach a consensus, they will become a Dink family, but a man who is a little bit of a good man will never accept his wife's behavior of secretly giving birth to children outside of marriage. Normally, when you find out that the child you have raised for many years is not related to you by blood, you are crazy and painful inside. At this time, men will basically use divorce to cope with the humiliation they have suffered without knowing it all these years. Although the child has precipitated a strong family affection in the case of frequent contact, it is easy to regard the child as a thorn in the eye when he knows that the child is not his own flesh and blood. For this reason, the behavior of a woman conceiving a child of the opposite sex outside of marriage will inevitably cause too many people to suffer when the truth is revealed.
4) Not having the potential to have children after marriage.
For men who have the idea of dink, the infertility of their wives will not cause damage to them, and even feel that the lack of fertility is not a disadvantage at all, but not every man has the idea of doing dink after marriage. For most families, after three or four years of marriage, there are still no children, and both parents are born. At this time, if the husband and wife live normally, they will naturally go to the hospital for a systematic examination. At this time, if a woman is deprived of the right to be a mother because of a man's shortcomings, the initiative of divorce or not will be in the hands of the woman, and there is a high probability that the divorce result will be exchanged; If it is because of a woman's shortcomings that a man cannot enjoy the right to be a father, the initiative of divorce or not will be in the hands of the man, and there is a high probability that the divorce will be exchanged.
Your wife's true state of mind when she married you: she was young and vigorous at the time, and she felt that money was the most important pursuit in her life, so much so that she wanted to use you as a fig leaf for her and her boss's mess up. At that time, your wife took a fancy to your loyalty and honesty. In fact, at the beginning of your marriage, your wife really didn't pay much attention to her married life. But as she grows older, your wife's view of marriage and love has changed too much, and she feels that a more ordinary life with you is what she needs, so she has the idea of withdrawing from the relationship with her boss, at this time, her boss is more inclined to your wife can take the child to reorganize the family with him, and retreat to the idea that your wife can continue to live with you, but you need to transfer the custody of the child.
Because your wife has no way to hide the truth of the matter, she can only tell the truth in front of you. What your wife wants to see: 1) you can accept the reality that your children are withdrawn from you; 2) You can forgive your wife for her previous betrayal; 3) She wants to live a stable life with you and draw a line with her boss. However, you also have your own true thoughts: 1) You can't forgive your wife for the humiliation she has brought you over the years; 2) You can't accept the reality that the child you've raised for 5 years is not related to you; 3) You think your wife is dirty. Since your current decision is to divorce, follow what you really think. At this time, the most rational thing to do: discuss the divorce with your wife and her boss, and strive for compensation that satisfies you at the material level.
Editor's note: On the road to civilization, the reason why people formulate too many norms of words and deeds, too many rules, and even legal constraints is because there are many unreasonable phenomena in life and too many unconscious people in their private lives. Once people deduce moral degradation, they must accept the criticism of ** and even the punishment of the law. Remind everyone: If you can't be an upright person, you will have to suffer the "treatment" of being crusaded, spurned, and severely punished.
In terms of dealing with the world, we occasionally mention a sentence: be forgiving and forgiving. The point is that not all words and deeds are worthy of forgiveness. It means that everyone has to pay the corresponding price for their words and actions. Sometimes, don't feel that the people around you are not tolerant enough, but ask yourself: the shameful things you have done are worthy of the sympathy and forgiveness of others.
Marriage **from the Internet, **unrelated)