Recently, X-chan watched a new Korean drama, and it exploded just by listening to the name - "Long Time Haven't Done". Haven't done it in a long time? Do what? It can't be a PPT or a year-end report, right? As you think, this one that hasn't been done for a long time is the one you understand as you haven't done it for a long time. It's also known by the ——《long time no sex》。
I have to say, Korean dramas are still a little too bold, is this something I can watch without spending money? But on closer inspection, this drama is not much, although it is indeed 19 bannedBut its core is the ** of the relationship between husband and wife under the sex comedy, and even the criticism of the Korean class, but we will not discuss the topic of too profound topics, we will only talk about the topic of couples' sex life after marriage today.
"Three, he's having an affair".
The play opens with a passion play, the beginning of the storyThe male protagonist Samuel and the female protagonist Yuzhen are in a period of love, the two of them are reluctant to part in the corridor of the apartment, the female protagonist takes off the ** in the short skirt and teases the male protagonist, and the male protagonist turns around and pounces on her. And as soon as the picture turned, the time came to the marriage of the two. The passion fades, and the two people are even at home together but each solves their own physiological needs. 
The burden of life, the pressure of the mortgage and the increasing interest rate overwhelmed the two of them. Even if you still have sexual needs, the other person is no longer sexually attractive to you. Here's what they say about conjugal life:Actually, I also think that if I do it with you, it seems to be between brothers and sisters, which is a little uncomfortable. Brother and sister, what an ironic word, but it shows the situation of two people, and it is a true portrayal of the sex life of many couples who have been married for many years. The female protagonist's job is the hotel front desk, while the male protagonist is a taxi driver. By chance, they found out that their best friend was cheating, and in order to gag the two of them, the friend offered to pay them 30 million won as hush money. After this incident, the two of them opened their minds and started the idea of blackmailing each other. Each episode of this drama tells a story of inference. One of the episodes has a very ironic scene:The hostess found three used condoms in the hotel room, and the cleaner uncle asked, "How many?" The heroine said, "Three." ”The uncle said, "This must be an affair, and a husband and wife will never do this." ”
The problems faced by couples who have been married for many years are pointed out mercilessly. This drama is bold and daring to say but witty and humorous, and it has won 86 high scores, and topped the real-time popularity list. Passion play and the nineteen bans may just be a wedge to attract people to click into, but what really makes people want to watch it and score high is because it reflects reality and satirizes reality, which resonates with people. @摆摆手题材不错, I haven't seen a Korean sex comedy for a long time, and the first thing we did when we grabbed money from East Asia Bonnie and Clyde was to buy some good wine and food for my father's birthday, and pay tuition for my niece's interest class. How in line with a state of mind at the moment. @礼拜六的两脚兽中年夫妻荒诞喜剧, a couple who no longer have sex life and are in embarrassment accidentally find a business opportunity to blackmail people in marriage, embarrassed and funny, and it is quite refreshing to put it in the moment when rebirth and cool dramas are piled up. The funniest thing in the first two episodes is that when the loan man cheats on the scene, Li Xu was shocked after learning that the man only needed 7 minutes at that time: So many things have happened for these 7 minutes!? In addition to being funny, you can also see the current predicament of young and middle-aged people in South Korea. "Jeongbong Oba" graduated from Seoul National University and couldn't find a job, the four siblings even had to discuss money together to buy a birthday gift for their father, and the young people had to rely on loans to support their ...... even if they knew that the interest rate was highI suddenly understood the truth that the worse the economy, the better the momentum of the entertainment industry, and the worse the life, the more crazy the mental state. Instead of fantasizing about being reborn and getting rich, it is better to go crazy immediately. Bless not to end badly.
Sex is instinctive
There is an interesting story about sexual instincts: in a temple on the mountain, an old monk adopted a baby and educated him in Buddhist ideology from an early age, demanding strict Buddhist self-cultivation. And once, the master took him down the mountain, and met a beautiful woman at the bottom of the mountain. The little monk was stunned, and the old monk found out and warned him, "Amitabha, that's a tiger, if you want to eat people, don't look at it again!" But the little monk was still reluctant. After going back, the old monk asked him, "What did you gain from going down the mountain this time?" Unexpectedly, the little monk immediately replied"I love Tigers the most! ”
This story illustrates that courtship is a normal desire and is a human instinct. Freud, a well-known psychologist and founder of psychoanalysis, put forward many views and theories about human psychology and behavior. Among them, sexual instinct is an important concept in Freud's theory. In Freud's view, sexual instinct is one of the most basic human instincts, and it is the innate impulses and desires of human beings. He believed that the purpose of the sexual instinct is to satisfy the pleasure of the individual and the satisfaction of seeking pleasure, and it is also an important aspect of the individual's psychological development. But not only South Korea,One of the dilemmas that many middle-aged couples are facing is that couples have no sex life. According to the results of a 2015 survey by the Japan Family Planning Association (JFPA).Half of married couples in Japan are in sexless marriages. A sexless marriage is a marriage in which there is no sexual life. A sexless marriage can be considered if there are no physical illnesses or accidents between the couple, but there is no tacit sexual life for more than a month. In addition, if the spouses enter into a conjugal relationship on the basis of a commitment not to engage in sexual life, it can also be considered a sexless marriage. Sociologists point outIf there is no physical illness or accident between husband and wife, but there is no tacit sex for more than a month, it is a sexless marriage. So how does the passion fade? How does sexual attraction disappear? Is it because there is no love?
Even Romeo and Juliet have a day when their passion fadesThe American psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed the theory of the love triangleHe believes that love consists of three basic elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion:Passion is the emotional element of love, which usually manifests itself as a strong emotional experience, sexual attraction, and obsession with the other person. In love, passion often manifests itself as an impulse and drive that pushes people to pursue intimacy and sex with each other. Passion can be positive or negative, and it is a strong emotional experience that can motivate people's behavior and decision-making. 
Intimacy:Intimacy is the interpersonal element of love, which usually manifests itself as care, care, and support for the other person. In love, intimacy manifests itself as an emotional exchange and resonance, based on mutual understanding and respect. Intimacy strengthens the connection and dependence between people, making people feel warm and safe. Commitment:Commitment is an element of decision-making and responsibility in love, often expressed in loyalty, support, and sacrifice to the other person. In love, commitment manifests itself as a determination to be willing to pay the effort and price for the other person, which is based on trust and security. Commitment can enhance stability and reliability between people, making love more lasting and meaningful. The loss of passion can be caused by a variety of factors. Among them,The main reason may be the lack of intimacy and commitment. In the love triangle theory, passion, intimacy, and commitment are the three essential elements that influence and interact with each other. If the two elements of intimacy and commitment are not given enough attention and development, then passion may gradually wane. Specifically,If there is a lack of intimate communication and interaction between the two parties in the relationship, the distance between each other will become more and more distant, and the passion will be difficult to maintain. In addition, if both parties do not have enough commitment, there may be a lack of sense of responsibility and commitment to the relationship, which can lead to a gradual erosion of passion. 
In addition, some other factors can also contribute to the loss of passion. For example, individuals may gradually lose their sense of novelty and mystery over a long period of time, thus weakening their passions. In addition, stress, contradictions, and conflicts in life can also have a negative impact on passion. Married couples have to face many life problems, such as mortgages, car loans, education, pension, etc., and the burden of these lives is on the husband and wife, and quarrels will inevitably increase. When intimacy and commitment wane, so does passion. Therefore,The problems in the couple's sex life may only be an outward symptom, but the deeper thing worth noting is that the couple's relationship is in trouble. So want to know the quality of your relationship? Enter the [Solution X] applet to take a look at this test [Free].
Write at the endPassion will always fade one day, and although love cannot rely only on passion, it cannot be without passion. The sex life between husband and wife is like a mirror, reflecting their love life. When a mirror cracks, the image it reflects is distorted. In married life, relationship problems are often like undercurrents under the deep sea, which may originate from the consumption of daily trivial matters, or from deep inner insecurity and fear. They silently erode the trust and understanding between husband and wife, and gradually disintegrate the originally solid emotional foundation. However, the harmony of sexual life is not the whole story of the couple's relationship. The real deep affection is not only reflected in the joy of the bed, but also in the interaction and tacit understanding in daily life. A heartfelt conversation, an affectionate hug, or even a silent understanding and support are all manifestations of the couple's feelings. Therefore, when there is a problem in the couple's life, what needs to be done is not to blame the other party, but to communicate with the other party to find the cracks in the relationship and repair them in time. references：———1]tang xiao,psychology of marriage and love，china city press，2006Author: Bert KenniniTypesetting: Berg Kennini