1A few days ago, I went to the underwear store to buy a piece of underwear, and at that time the seller claimed that the quality was absolutely guaranteed, and I left satisfied.
I didn't know that after I went back, I didn't put it on for a few days, and the back strap broke.
I was very angry, so I went to the merchant to reason: Didn't you say that you guaranteed the quality at that time? Why did it break after only a few days of wearing?
The merchant replied: I said that the quality is guaranteed, but even if your breasts are big, you can't blame us.
Looking at the sincere seller, I suddenly didn't feel angry.
2 I went to KTV last night, I fancy a girl who is very suitable for my taste, I chatted for more than two hours in the past, and I chatted very much, I really don't want to spoil the atmosphere, I am afraid that I will be embarrassed after breaking the paper, and finally I can't help but confess to her, I didn't expect the words to fall, she stood up violently, poured a glass of wine on me, and roared: "I thought you were an honest person, but I didn't expect you to be such a lowly hooligan, I didn't say it earlier, drag it on for so long, go, open the room!" I was stunned!
3 I am a daughter, with long hair, and a bearable little cousin. Once watching TV, he came up with a sentence: "Sister, I will definitely ask you to be the heroine when I become a director in the future", so he asked happily: "Why?" Sister is not pretty. The little cousin said, "I'm making ghost movies."
4 My wife celebrated her birthday and was ready to surprise her, so she secretly took half a day off, cleaned up the house, and made a table of her favorite dishes. When my wife came back, she was obviously very moved, after eating, and when I washed the pots and bowls and cleaned the battlefield, my wife lay on the bed and said lazily: "Husband, my birthday is tomorrow!" ”
5. The elder brother was lying on the sofa playing with his mobile phone, the sister-in-law was leisurely eating melon seeds on the other side of the sofa, and the little niece was quietly writing homework under the light. My brother said emotionally: I wish that time would stand still like this, and that my daughter would not grow up and live under our care forever. The little niece glared at him: You have been in the fifth grade all your life to write homework?
6 Recently, I was unemployed, but she was afraid that my mother-in-law would nag, so she lived in my house for a while, and I heard the good news at the time, not to mention how happy I was. During the time she lived in my house, I looked for her a lot, and we had a good chat, and I felt lost. Just last night, ** said to my wife: "Sister, it's not a matter for me to do this light bulb at your house, it's really not good, I'd better move out!" ”
7 At noon, a female colleague went out to eat and lost her mobile phone in the company. As a result, her husband called ** vigorously, and a buddy next to her took a nap after eating and was very annoyed by the noise. **After ringing for the nth time, the buddy connected the phone angrily and yelled: "We're sleeping, you keep fighting**, are you annoying!" Then he hung up. Never rings again. An hour later, the husband of a female colleague appeared at the door of the company panting and holding a brick.
8 My girlfriend found that she had a small raised scar on her abdomen, so she went to see a doctor. As a result, the doctor examined her and said, "You're too late!" My girlfriend cried on the spot, feeling that she had missed the best opportunity. The doctor said calmly: "Girl, don't cry, I said why did you come so late, we are about to get off work......."”
9 Once, my mother ran to my room and shouted, still don't get up? You see your room is dirty and messy, and the pigs' nest is cleaner than your bedroom. Me: Oh, Mom, no! No matter how clean the pig's nest is, it is also cleaned by the pig keeper! My room is dirty, and that's why you didn't clean it. Later, I was beaten and obediently cleaned up the room spotlessly.
10 Xiao Ming's new beauty class teacher: Students, we will be good friends in the future, if I have anything wrong, please bring it up, I will definitely change!
Xiao Ming stood up: Teacher, your skirt is a little long!
Teacher: Get out!
11 Today, many children came to my house to play with my son, and my son asked me for 30 yuan to buy toys, and I had 50 pocket money a month to support this expense, I said that my son's father made a toy for you!
So I cut my ** into a small piece, come and son, you can fight.
My sons cried and said to me, "Dad, how poor have you become, and let me fight with them."