Some people say that middle age is an embarrassing age, with the old and the young, and the middle is the self who is coerced.
Due to the various restrictions around us, we have to move forward and dare not slack off.
Tired is the biggest enemy in front of middle-aged people.
Writer Xue Xiaozen said:
"When people reach a certain age, they are going to **. ”
* It's not about giving up, it's not about lying down, it's about knowing the true meaning of life, and knowing how to choose.
In the face of limited energy and time, we can only be full of energy for life by learning to subtract from life.
Decreasing emotions, cultivating peace of mindSocrates once said:
It is a person's instinct to know what he needs in life, and it is a person's wisdom to know what he does not need. ”
Some time ago, the 38-year-old mother of the second child, who rushed to the hot search, tutored her child to write homework at 4:30 in the morning, and was angry to death because she couldn't bear the child's behavior.
Many netizens feel the same way:
In families with children, parents should pay great attention to their emotional management when tutoring their children with homework. ”
Indeed, to manage one's emotions well is to control one's own life.
However, what is unfortunate is that emotional management itself is not an easy thing.
Living hard every day, we will inevitably live a life of chicken feathers.
At work, there are endless shifts and unbearable anger;
In children's education, there are endless mouths and endless homework;
In terms of filial piety to parents, there is an inexhaustible heart, and there is an endless hospital ......
Life itself is full of endless challenges, and it is easy to live without tears.
Writer Ma De has a saying:
This world, which seems to be complicated around it, with all kinds of people, etc., is still your own world.
If you are clear, the world will be clean, and if you are simple, the world will not be complicated. ”
Life itself does not determine whether our days are good or bad, but the decision is up to us.
You choose emotions, and emotions turn their guns on yourself;
You choose to let go, and the days will be simple and peaceful.
Even if you are accidentally in the mud, tidy up your mind and treat it calmly, you can still fly to a high place.
Su Shi, a great writer in the Northern Song Dynasty, had smooth sailing when he was young, and his career can be described as a smooth progress.
However, at the age of forty-three, he was unfortunately involved in the "Wutai Poetry Case" and was demoted to Huangzhou and served as the deputy envoy of the Huangzhou regiment.
In the face of sudden debasement, Su Shi was depressed and lonely at first, and the physical upheaval aggravated this mental frustration.
Spiritual frustration inevitably lies in his poems.
In the word "Fortune Operator, Huangzhou Dinghuiyuan Residence", we can get a glimpse of his sorrow.
However, as a person who is optimistic by nature, he did not stay in pain for a long time, but actively adjusted his mentality and responded optimistically.
"Don't listen to the sound of the forest beating the leaves, why not chant and walk slowly.
Bamboo cane shoes are lighter than horses, who is afraid?
A cloud of smoke and rain is Ren Ping's life. ”
conveys his open-minded and optimistic attitude.
It is true that only by remaining open-minded and optimistic and living the present moment will life continue, and the desired results will be unexpected.
Behind the open-minded optimism in the face of trouble, it reflects a normal state of mind.
Peace of mind is the only way to stay sane and sober.
With a contented and optimistic spirit, as always, moving towards the goal, a turnaround is just around the corner.
Diminishing desires and enriching the spiritual worldA friend of mine, from graduating from 985 college, to successfully taking the postgraduate entrance examination, and then to the senior management of the enterprise, can be described as a smooth and proud journey.
But when he reached middle age, with the prosperity and comfort of life, he gradually became addicted to gambling.
In the end, at the instigation of his friends, he played bigger and bigger, lost all his savings, and lost his house.
I've heard a classic saying:
A person's greatest enemy is himself, and if he indulges his nature, he will slowly ruin his future in the process of constantly satisfying his own enjoyment. ”
Desire is human nature and instinct.
The indulgence of desire is also the indulgence of nature.
A person who pursues desires excessively is prone to lose his way, deviate from his original intention, and ruin his future.
Wise people know how to loosen their desires, lock their desires within a moderate range, and add points to their lives.
Mo Yan once said:"Pain and trouble come from desire, and motivation also comes from desire. ”
When one's desires are far beyond one's ability and cognition, they will be consumed by pain and trouble;
And when a person controls his desires within the range of his ability and cognitive match, it will stimulate the spirit of progress.
It can be seen that desire is a double-edged sword, and only knowing how to choose and give up will give us energy.
And to control desires, we must constantly cultivate our hearts and maintain spiritual wealth.
Qian Zhongshu, a well-known modern scholar and writer, is a person who lives a simple life and is spiritually rich.
When he was teaching at Tsinghua University, his home was very simple, with only a table and a simple sofa, and the chairs were replaced by two wooden boxes.
Even after becoming famous, his life remained simple.
In the midst of porridge and meals, he quietly reads, writes, and accompanies his family, refusing to be visited by friends.
For him, the simpler life the better, and he filled the higher life with inner knowledge and spiritual wealth.
For us ordinary people, everything is outside the body, and spiritual wealth can make the soul exude fragrance.
And the fragrance of the soul can infiltrate the long-term happiness of the soul and enlighten the value of life.
On the road to middle age, learn to subtract desires.
With an indifferent mindset and screening out the real needs of the heart, it is easy to retain a long-term happiness of contentment.
Only by practicing with a respectful heart can we keep the happiness in our hands.
Let the excess mental strength be condensed, and it will be easier to reach the spiritual peak in your mind.
Socially decreasing, cherishing those who deserve
In Yu Hua's ** "Shouting in the Drizzle", Sun Guanglin is a child who has lacked family care and friendship since he was a child.
He was abandoned by his parents shortly after he was born.
When he was 12 years old, he returned to his parents and was not treated well, was bullied by his older brother and younger brother, and was ridiculed and alienated by children in the same village.
When he was in middle school, he longed for a group of like-minded friends.
He saw that a classmate named Su Hang in the class always had a lot of playmates gathered around him, so he deliberately went to please this classmate.
Also pretending to cater to his circle.
Later, Sun Guanglin found that Su Hang's circle was full of "ruffian" classmates.
These classmates laughed at other classmates on the playground, deliberately molested young girls, and openly insulted their esteemed ** teacher ...... in class
Actually, he is not the same person as them.
But the deep loneliness made him afraid of losing his friends, and his heart was very depressed.
Until one day, Su Hang deliberately called him over and proudly slapped him in the face with a willow branch in front of many female classmates on the playground.
Only then did he realize that Su Hang did not really regard himself as a friend.
Sun Guanglin's experience is not the epitome of our ordinary people.
Because of the fear of loneliness, he is keen on various group activities;
In order to please the leader, before and after the saddle, even sacrificing freedom to accompany various dinners;
Blindly accommodating friends, but ignoring the uneasy feelings ...... in their hearts
As the saying goes, "If the Tao is not in agreement, there is no conspiration." ”
A good relationship is not the unconditional integration and acceptance of one party, but the comfort of both parties and the common growth of each other.
Resonance at the same frequency is the best fit for a relationship.
Huawei once released a short social experiment film "How many common contacts do you have in your phone?" 》。
Most of the interviewees in the video are middle-aged respondents.
Respondents were asked to remove people who did not actively contact them, then to remove people other than for work and socializing, and finally to remove people who could not speak the truth except for family members.
The contacts on the respondents' mobile phones immediately fell from more than 1,000 to the last two or three.
Originally, we would have known about 27,000 people in our lifetime, but in the end, it was only two or three people who were worth staying.
It's a shocking result, but it's a true portrayal of you and me.
In fact, among our mobile phone contacts, there are many "dead fans" who don't understand each other and don't bother each other.
Wang Xiaobo once said:
When you are young, you feel that there are people everywhere, and other people's business is your business.
When I reached middle age, I felt that there was nothing left in the world except my family. ”
As time flies, our friends come and go like a marquee.
But in the end, it must be those who are the most precious to us, and they are our family.
In the middle of life, we should learn to reduce our social circle, devote more of our limited energy to our family, and give our family more companionship and love.
Because only family is our true haven and the source of motivation for us to continue to move forward.
The psychologist Carl Jung once said:
Everyone has two lives.
The first time is to live for others to see, and the second time is to live for yourself.
And the second life often begins at the age of forty. ”
When we are young, we always care too much about other people's eyes and mess up our emotions, we are always easy to cling to the pursuit of others and indulge our own desires, and we always like to lose ourselves in the excitement of our friends.
When you reach a certain age, you know that life is for yourself and has nothing to do with others.
When people reach middle age, they will subtract their lives, and they will have excess energy to fill their hearts, and their lives will get better and better.
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