There are two types of loneliness: active loneliness and passive loneliness.
Only by taking the initiative to be lonely can you enjoy solitude. Passive and lonely, but very uncomfortable, feeling abandoned by the world.
In society, how can we turn reactive into active? The key is to adjust your mentality and make yourself a transparent person.
So, when you're isolated, keep the following old sayings in mind.
"No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains": being isolated, mostly because you have no value.
When people are poor, they will not be looked at in the bustling streets. Even the people in the community don't want to deal with you.
After all, everyone is afraid of being "poor", and they are even more afraid that poor relatives and friends will come to borrow money.
And the rich, everywhere, will be looked up to. After all, he has the ability to help others, at least to a high standard of hospitality.
Rather than being unaccustomed to seeing others "tend to be inflammatory", it is better to accept the reality.Your own value can determine whether you have a good connection. If you're a muddy person who can't get up to the wall, then don't blame others for isolating you.
Find ways to enhance your value, work hard to make money, and seek a good platform. Thus you will naturally live a lively life.
"Dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and the sons of mice will make holes": no matter how lonely you are, you still have your parents behind you.
When you are isolated by the whole world, there are still your parents who love you silently.
Your parents' home may not be rich, but the door is always open for you. Your parents can give you good comfort and will also give you a few free meals.
Talk to your parents, and you will find that you are not alone, and you always live in the circle of "love". Parents tell you that they too have experienced isolation and have looked for ways to deal with it.Of course, you can also observe the life of your parents from the perspective of the "family of origin". From my parents, I found out what advantages, what shortcomings, and what habits I inherited.
Maybe it's the shortcomings of your family of origin that make you isolated? That's where the correction comes in.
For example, parents like to talk straight, and so do you. Then you have to correct it and avoid being too direct and hurting the people around you.
"Don't do bad things for people, and don't be shocked when you knock on the door in the middle of the night": as long as the character is passing, it doesn't matter if you are gregarious or not.
As long as you don't have a bad heart, even if you are poor and isolated, it doesn't matter.
Decent people, mixed into a circle of villains, can also be isolated.
Sometimes, it's because of the difference in their own small circles, which leads to isolation, rather than doing bad things themselves.
During the Northern Song Dynasty, Song Shenzong supported Wang Anshi's reforms, which led to the people in the court being divided into two factions: "for and against".
Su Shi stood up and opposed the change of the law, which offended many people. Some people who supported the change of the law tried their best to find out what loopholes there were in Su Shi's article, so there was the Wutai poetry case.
When Su Shi was demoted, he suddenly understood that he was not a heinous person, but his position was different. As a result, he is always optimistic and motivated.
People, don't rather be a villain than doubt yourself because you are isolated. We must judge our words and deeds fairly, and use laws and moral rules to restrain them, rather than "pointing fingers" from outsiders.
"Bring dry food, umbrella": insist on letting yourself shine and never worry about being isolated.
No one knows exactly when it's going to rain and when it's windy. It's impossible to say when you'll go hungry. Plans can't keep up with the changes.
If you are "ready" at all times, then you are not afraid of sudden situations.
As a person in the group, you are ready to be isolated by everyone at any time, so the result of isolation will not be heartbroken.
The ancients told us to plan ahead. In other words, if you mix in a certain group, don't think that you have a gentle township, but be positive and pursue a higher level of circle.
In the article, Professor Fu Peirong recalled his time when he was a student at Yale University, where he read for more than ten hours a day, trying to compress the time he spent sleeping, and had very little social interaction.
He completed the Ph.D., which was supposed to take five or six years to complete, in four years. The moment he walked out of the school gate, he became a dazzling star. Of course, he also stepped into a higher circle.
Along the way of life, we will inevitably step from one circle to another, rather than staying in one circle forever. And the inflection point of crossing the circle is the improvement of your own wisdom and ability.
"Raise Mien, fight Mi hatred": If you please others too much, you will be disgusted by others.
I've seen the saying, "You can't please everyone." ”Obviously, if you please everyone around you, you will find yourself in a "dilemma". In exchange for grievances, it is my own touch, and the reasonableness of others.
Dou Ying, the minister of the Western Han Dynasty, in order to please the minister Tian Wei, not only took the initiative to invite Tian Wei to participate in the dinner, but also took the initiative to give Tian Wei a gift.
But because Tian Wei was flattered, he hated Dou Ying, and he also framed Dou Ying many times.
Historian Cai Dongfan felt sorry for Dou Ying and said"Unprovoked and pro-Tian Wei, unprovoked and resentful of Tian Wei, and unprovoked and hated Tian Wei, and died to attract especially humiliation." ”
You haven't done anything wrong yourself, you're living a good life, why should you please everyone? This is self-inflicted humiliation and isolation.
Even if it is someone who is beneficial to you, it is only a little flattering, don't let the other party have a chance to take revenge. Don't lower yourself into the dust.
In "Farewell My Concubine", a master told his apprentice: "If you want to be noble in front of people, you must suffer after others." The more hardships you endure behind the stage, the more opportunities you have to become a famous actor in front of the stage. ”All the hardships in life must be borne silently, and then you will really stand up to the sky.
You're isolated, you're feeling bad, but it's okay, it's just one encounter, it's not for life.
Things are different now. From here to the other side, those who isolate you are not as good as you.
The philosopher Hegel said, "Every man is a whole, a world in itself, and every man is a full and living being." ”
As long as you are positive, a person is also a circle, why be afraid of loneliness?