I am now working in a public institution in Jinan and am 44 years old this year. For my family, there are two particularly important elders – my father and father-in-law. They were of the same age, both widowed and single, but I found that there were stark differences between them.
In terms of pension, my father, as a farmer, receives a rural pension of 156 yuan per month, although it is not much, but he always says that it is enough for daily expenses. As a retired teacher, my father-in-law has a pension of more than 6,200 yuan per month, but it is always too little, and he often compares his classmates' pensions with himself.
When it comes to seeing a doctor, my father rarely goes to the hospital, and even when he is sick, he mostly dispenses his own medicine. He often said: "Life and death are fate, and wealth is in heaven." My father-in-law, on the other hand, had a physical examination twice a year, and immediately checked if he felt unwell. He believes that good health is the king of old age.
In the use of money, the father was frugal to the extreme. He planted a vegetable garden and raised poultry at home, and hardly bought vegetables, eggs, duck eggs. His net income in a year is 17,800,000, but in 2022, he only spent 1,400 yuan. He never wore the new clothes he bought for himself, but he took out 150,000 yuan at once when I changed to a big house. And the father-in-law, in addition to pension and rent income, has an annual income of more than 110,000, but he always says that the money is not enough. He travels, changes cameras, and buys clothes all pursue high-end, and even took 15,000 from me, saying that he borrowed it, but in fact he went and never returned.
In terms of the concept of mate selection, his father resolutely stopped looking for a wife, he was worried that his mother would blame him, and he was also afraid of being laughed at. He believes that it is good for a person to live a peaceful and stable life. And the father-in-law began to date his girlfriend half a year after his mother-in-law's death, although he did not get a license, he always claimed that he was single. His income is not low, but he often moonshines, and it is estimated that a lot of it is spent on these "photographers".
In terms of parenting, my father was patriarchal and very fond of our family of three. The father-in-law, on the other hand, thinks that after raising his daughter and sending her to college, we should repay him and honor him.
Although these two elders are my closest people, their lifestyles and concepts are very different. I know that different experiences and values shape their different attitudes towards life. I will do my best to take care of them and hope that they can all have a happy old age.