1. Mom always thinks I'm kicking the quilt....I was tired from going to my room at night to cover me with a quilt, so she forced me to sleep in the same bed with her. In the middle of the night, I suddenly felt that the quilt was gone...It turned out that my mother had pulled the quilt away and wrapped it around her. I tugged hard a few times...I didn't pull it...I was about to give up....My mother seems to be awake, and when she touches the **, she is actually naked, and she catches me and beats me, "Dead Nizi, tell you to kick the quilt, tell you to kick the quilt..."”
2. When I took my son to a Go tournament and was about to enter the game, my son said to me with a worried face, "Mom, I'm worried. I patted him on the shoulder and encouraged him: "You have to believe in your own strength, don't be nervous, just play normally!".He said, "I'm worried that the lunch box we will receive at noon will not be enough for the two of us." ”
3After dinner, I read the newspaper in the living room and asked my wife: Have you washed the dishes?The wife said seriously: Husband, you should ask like this, baby, I'll help you wash the dishes!Then I said, husband, it's already washed. That's a lot ...... be remarkableSo, I: Baby, I'm going to wash the dishes for you!Wife: Yes, go ahead.
4 Our unit is a good unit!We got off work late, but we got to work early!Although we have less rest, we are more on duty!We're cold in the winter, but we're hot in the summerAlthough we have a late holiday, we start early!Although we have a low salary, we have a lot of work!Friends, if you are looking for a job, you should choose this!Take the least amount of money, go to more classes, and never know what a holiday is!
5This morning, my wife cooked a bowl of rice balls and brought it to me: "Honey, come and taste one." ”
At that time, the full sense of happiness couldn't help but show off in front of his son.
Me: "Son, see if this is my wife?" ”
Wife: "Is it ripe?"My dear. ”
Me: "Yes, wife!."It was nice and perfect. “
When I was about to eat with a spoon, my wife: "You go away, come and eat, son, it's cooked, hurry up and eat." ”
Son: "See, this is Mom." ”
6 I just changed my mobile phone number yesterday, and I decided to tease my girlfriend and sent her a text message, fate is destined, do you want to know your fate with him?Please send you and his real name, e.g. Xiao Ming, Xiao Hong. The consultation fee is two yuan per piece. Two minutes later, I received the names of my girlfriend and my brother.
7A pair of male and female classmates went to the movies, and in the movie theater, the male classmates' hands quietly stretched out from behind the chairs and gently hugged the female classmates.
The female classmate didn't struggle, and said softly in his ear: "My heart is beating so badly, I don't believe you touch it." ”
He laughed and said, "I know physiology, pulse and heart rate are the same, come and I'll give you a pulse!."”
8 Yesterday I chatted with a friend, she said that she went to the cinema to see Zhi Qing, and saw Ruan Wan running to see Zhao Shiyong and was hit by a car, and the cinema was instantly very quiet, only listening to a couple in front of her, the man said to the woman: "See?".This is what happens when you find an ex-boyfriend!"The audience burst into laughter!
9The daughter said, "The next lesson is to learn the 'triangle'." Dad told her, "Triangles have stability." "Not necessarily!She immediately put forward the opposite view, "The 'love triangle' is unstable!."and "Romance of the Three Kingdoms".
What a mess the three are fighting!”
10Dad climbed to the top of the mountain with his little son out of breath. Dad said, "Look, what a view of the plains beneath our feet!""Why do we have to spend 3 hours climbing up to the top when the view below is good?Father.
11What should I do if I am pestered by a group of men every day, and it is difficult for me to refuse others?
A female colleague made a mistake in the office: "I'm so beautiful, I'm pestered by a group of men every day, and it's hard for me to refuse others, what should I do?".”
I silently poured the glass of water on her face.
The female colleague suddenly realized: "I understand, you want me to be clear-headed and calm as water!."Is it?”
I told her, "It's not beautiful, it's a scoop of water, it's all a ghost when you take off your makeup!."”