1 a buddy reported to the driving school to learn to drive, that day four people with the coach on the road, it was the buddy's turn to drive, huge nervousness, all kinds of sweat, happened to pass through a village, there were a few farmers on the road to raise chickens to find food, this buddy held the steering wheel, and shouted "Oh yes oh yes". Everyone in the car was amazed, and I don't know why. The coach was furious: "Doesn't the car have a horn?"You're learning how to ride a bike!A carload of people laughed.
2 When I was in junior high school, I had a girlfriend, and once on the weekend when her parents were not at home, I went to her house to play, but my girlfriend's mother suddenly came back, and she hurriedly pushed me into the bathroom, but the first thing her mother did when she came home was to go to the toilet, and the moment she pushed the door open, she saw me squatting on the ground to wash clothes, and I greeted her: "Auntie, during class today, I accidentally got ink on Lily's clothes, and the teacher asked me to wash my clothes." ”
My girlfriend's mom nodded and didn't say anything, I thought I was so witty that I haven't seen my girlfriend since, she wrote me a letter after she transferred schools: "You pig, it's Saturday!".”
3 Son: Mom, give me a mask, I'll go downstairs and take a turn.
Mom: You can't wear a mask, it's easy to be impotent.
Son: Didn't you say that wearing a mask is not easy to be impotent?
Mom: That's talking about other people, you're different, it's safer if you don't wear a mask.
Son: Why?
Mother: Because you are ugly, people will stay away from you when they see you without a mask.
4F: Failed to confess?M: She said she likes her uncle. F: Don't be discouraged, you'll meet better girls. M: That's natural, when I get old and become an uncle, she will regret it. Woman: Pull it down, only handsome guys are called uncles when they are old, and people like you can only be called uncles.
5. When I took a shower at night, I found that I forgot to bring **. Open the bathroom door and ask my mom to bring it for me. My mom said, "It's been raining for a few days, but it's not dry!."I was in a hurry to wear it, so I asked her to buy one for me, and after a long time, I finally heard my mother say: It's ready!As soon as I heard that, I brought it in. As a result, she said: It hasn't been shipped yet!
6. It is best for children not to hit casually. It is easy to hurt the brain when you hit the head, easy to hurt the nerves when you spank the face, easy to hurt your self-esteem when you hit your hands and feet. So try not to fight if you can. If you have to hit your child and don't want to worry about these previous problems, there is only one trick: hit someone else's child!
7 girlfriends have opened a new underwear store, call me**Come**, let me take a look. I used to just go out of her, her husband was in the store to help look at the store, I was bored and stood up to look at the underwear, every time I got to a set of underwear, my best friend husband said: "Try if you like, try if you like." Me: "Try your size, you haven't even done a fitting room!."”
8 class teachers for the first time.
It was the first time for our high school homeroom teacher, but it was really embarrassing. He told it like this: I was very nervous in the first class, and I was very nervous on the way from the office to the classroom. As soon as I walked to the door of the classroom, the insoles ran out of the shoes, I just picked up the insoles, and before I could put them in the shoes, the class bell rang, I didn't care too much, put the insoles in my trouser pockets, and walked into the classroom to give a lecture. The first lecture was nervous, and I was already sweating profusely halfway through the lecture, so I went to my trouser pocket to find a handkerchief to wipe my sweat, but after wiping it, I found that it was an insole that was taken out.
9I did something sorry for my husband, I blamed myself and was scared, I couldn't sleep calmly every day, what should I do?I bought a phone case with his pocket money saved for two years, and he won't turn his face on me, right?
10When I came home from a business trip, I found that Lao Wang next door was hiding under my bed.
Lao Chen: "When I came home from a business trip today, I found Lao Wang next door hiding under the bed in my house, which scared me!."”
Lao Zhang: "Later!."”
Lao Chen: "I called the police without telling my wife!."”
Lao Zhang: "Why do you want to hide it from your sister-in-law?"”
Lao Chen: "Because I finally know who stole the money from my private room hidden under the bed!."”