1. There was a classmate who twisted his foot when he was playing during the day, and when he climbed ** at night, he found that the soles of his feet were black and purple, and he instantly felt that he couldn't move. The two boys in the same dormitory carried him down from the sixth floor to the hospital for emergency treatment, the doctor knocked and touched, wiped it with a cotton swab dipped in some alcohol, and finally said helplessly, go back and wash your feet well, your slippers have faded! The classmates who brought him here don't want to pay attention to him now!
2 In a subway station in Shanghai, a fashionable young man watched a funny** on his phone and laughed so loudly that it attracted the attention of other passengers in the carriage. Curious passengers came together **, and in the end the whole carriage was amused by his **, forming a warm and humorous scene.
3Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
If you ask the magic mirror now, who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
The magic mirror said: Do you ask about plastic surgery or not?
A: No plastic surgery.
Q: Do you ask if you wear makeup or not?
A: No.
Q: Do you ask pseudo-swaschers or purebred women?
A: Forget it, I don't want to ask ......Everything is fake.
4After dinner, my wife played with her phone on the sofa and I washed the dishes in the kitchen. At this time, my mother came to visit the door, and I opened the door with a rag and accompanied her into the house. Then I saw my wife lying on the sofa with a towel on her forehead, she "struggled" to prop herself up, and said in a weak voice: "Mom, you are here?..This thing really can be loaded!
5 It's graduation season again, and there is a senior sister selling books at the door of the canteen, and the slogan reads: One yuan a copy, buy books and send them to the senior sister! decisively went up to watch, and a freshman pretended to pick a book, pointed to the slogan and said: What about the senior sister who sent it? The girl replied heroically: We will train the day after tomorrow, remember to see us off when the time comes. The onlookers burst into laughter, and the man bowed his head with a red face.
6 wife: "Husband, if someone buys me for 10 million, will you sell it?" Husband: "Of course not!" ”
The wife was very happy, kissed her husband fiercely, and asked, "Why?" The husband glanced at his wife and said with disgust: "You are not worth 10 million, I don't earn this kind of unconscionable money!" ”
7. Riding the bus, I suddenly had a strange itch on my back, and I couldn't reach it with one hand, so I turned my back and rubbed it a few times on the pole I was holding onto. The little pot friend on the other side asked: Mom, what is that uncle doing?
Little Pot Friend's Mother: That uncle is practicing pole dancing!
The eyes of the whole carriage were successfully attracted to me!
8 I took my son to my best friend's house as a guest, and my best friend took a glass of juice to my son and said, "Mingming, give you juice to drink."
I said, "Son, what are you going to say when your aunt gives you juice?"
The son said to his best friend: Go, go and get me something to eat.
My old face is disgraced!
9F: I want plastic surgery. Beautician: What do you want to do? Female: It should be done like Guan Zhilin on the left face, Liu Jialin on the right face, Jolin Tsai on the upper face, and Lin Chiling on the lower face. Beautician: After the whole thing, it must be Zhang Tielin.
10 The doctor said, "Go and give a sedative to the patient who is going to be discharged today." ”
* Puzzled: "You can all be discharged from the hospital, why are you still sedated?" ”
The doctor said, "I'm going to settle the bill later, I'm afraid he won't be able to stand it!" ”
On the way, I saw a dirty boy, staring closely at the bag of milk in the hand of the little girl in front of him. When the little girl finished drinking, she threw the bag on the ground, and he hurriedly squatted down to pick up the milk bag on the ground and put it in her mouth, and my nose was sour and tears rolled down. As soon as he tried to pull it up, he saw him put the bag on the ground and slammed it down, "Bang", it scared me!
12You are instant noodles, I am boiled water, and I will soak you in this life and this life!
I said to my best friend: "A man confessed to me today, saying that you are instant noodles and I am boiled water, and I will soak you in this life and this life." ”
As soon as he heard this, his girlfriend said: "In the end, he became, and you became pee." Doomed to part ways. ”
I was speechless for my best friend's statement.