1One day, my mother took my son out to play and saw a stray dog, and my mother said, "Look, that puppy has no father and mother, how pitiful is it?" The son looked at the puppy lovingly and nodded. After a while, the son saw a man leading the dog in front of him on the road, and he was so happy that he said loudly to his mother: "Mom, look, the dog has a father!" The dog has a dad! ”
2The guest said to the little host, "Look, what a beautiful curly hair, it was given by my mother, right?" The little master thought for a moment: I think my father gave it to me, because now he has no hair on his head.
3 When I came home at eight o'clock last night, I was dying of hunger, but my wife was sitting on the bed with her face covered, and she said that she had a toothache and did not cook dinner. I went downstairs and bought some barbecue, peanuts, rice edamame, and a bottle of beer, and brought her bread. When I got home, I put my things on the table and washed my hands, and when I came back, I found my wife sitting there eating barbecue and drinking wine, very comfortable. I asked her, "Don't you have a toothache?" Can barbecue chew? She smiled and said, "I just took a sip of wine, and my teeth don't hurt, so let's eat this bread for you!"
4When my brother-in-law chased my sister, he came to my house every day in the name of his classmates. Later, my mother said directly to my sister: "Or you can marry him, so that you can eat every day, and you can be regarded as your own person." If you don't pay for food, you won't collapse our family! ”
5A dignified gentleman walked into the high-end restaurant, ordered a sumptuous meal, and enjoyed it happily for an hour. After getting the bill, he called the restaurant maître d'être. "Ah, my friend," he said, "what a delicious meal! Maybe you don't remember, I also ate at this table about a year ago. I couldn't pay the bill then, so you blasted me out in front of the other diners. "I'm really sorry, sir," said the foreman, "but you know ......"Oh, don't take it personally," interrupted the gentleman, "let it pass, but I'm afraid you'll have to bombard me again this time." ”
6What is high emotional intelligence?
This year, I brought my girlfriend home, and it happened that a friend of my father's came to visit the house.
During the greetings, he said: "You kid can do it, your vision is as good as your father." ”
Four people are praised in one sentence!
7. My wife spent a lot of money to buy a hundred-year-old ginseng stew and stew a bowl of ginseng soup for her son to drink, but she forgot to put sugar.
I criticized her and said, "Why don't you put sugar? ”
The son on the side interjected and said, "Dad is fine, I'm not afraid of hardship, give me a drink." ”
No," I took the ginseng soup and drank it all, "no matter how bitter I am, I can't be bitter child." ”
8. A boy likes a girl, the boy confesses, the girl refuses to say "I like you unless I'm blind", and the boy blinds the girl through some channel. Boys live happily with girls as they wish. This story tells us: if I don't take the initiative, we will never have a story!
9. The purpose of marriage is so strong
Man: "Will you marry me?" ”
Woman: "You've known me for so long, why did you propose to me now?" ”
Man: "Because I'm timid and afraid of death, I'm ......."”
Woman: "Then why do you dare to propose to me now?" ”
M: "Because I read the newspaper yesterday, and it said that according to statistics, men who are married live longer than those who are single. ”
10Every time I ask my husband, "Why are you going?" Most of his answers were: "I'm looking for my junior!" ”
It felt quite humorous, and it was later confirmed that he was not lying......Can you get over it?!
11 suddenly remembered that many years ago, a person fainted on the road because of anemia, and then passers-by called 120 to take me to the hospital. The doctor took my mobile phone and called my dad** and said that your daughter is in such and such a hospital, come on. My dad said, "Get out ......."The doctors were stunned ......Ha ha!
12 When a girl is angry, how long does it take to coax her?
It's probably decided based on appearance. Sixty-five minutes takes half an hour, seventy-five minutes takes more than an hour, eighty-five minutes takes a day or two (maybe a box of chocolates and flowers), and more than ninety points cannot be estimated ......
If you are under sixty points, you don't need to coax, you will be fine after a while.