All families hope that their children will grow up to be capable people.
But how to make their wishes come true, parents are a little at a loss.
It seems that everyone is complaining about exam-oriented education, thinking that as long as children understand book knowledge and are admitted to good universities, it will be fine.
Under the ideal of "going to university", parents accompany their children to read, and they also pressure their children to read books, endorse books, etc., and if the child has a slight deviation, he will have to be annoyed and angry.
In the Art of War, it says: "Attack the city as the bottom, and attack the heart as the top." ”Children have their own world, just like a castle. If you want your child to be successful, you have to start by becoming positive and sunny from within. If parents only agree on the outside, they will inevitably hit the south wall.
Therefore, smart parents will borrow the power of suggestion to stimulate their children's endogenous motivation.
First, the guidance of parents implies that they are caring.
I've seen a little story.
When Su Shi and Su Zhe were very young, their playful nature was obvious. In order to let the brothers study, their mother Cheng and father Su Xun thought of many ways.
The most effective trick is that Cheng and Su Xun deliberately "hidden" some books, which seemed mysterious and secretive, and let Su Shi and Su Zhe know about it through inadvertent words.
Whenever Cheng and Su Xun went out to work, Su Shi and Su Zhe opened those books with curiosity and read them from beginning to end - as if they had obtained a treasure.
Although the truth of the story cannot be determined, there is no doubt that Su Shi and Su Zhe have become literary heroes.
When children are very young, they are curious and always have to ask"100,000 Whys".
What about parents? Don't get bored, but learn to do what you like, and give your child some directional cues. Guide your child to do something.
When children go to school, they can also use cues such as rewards and meeting expectations to make children more motivated to learn.
For example, if a child scored 80 points in the last exam, the parents suggest that if he has 90 points, he will get a gift of great value.
When the child reaches the age of youth, the parents give a positive reply to everything, answer questions and communicate with each other, so that the child can further clarify the direction of life, understand the ups and downs of life, and strengthen the ideal of life.
Second, the teacher's ability hints and moisturizes things silently.
Tung Chee-hwa, a student from Hubei Province, did not achieve satisfactory results when he entered junior high school, but after graduating from junior high school, he was admitted to a key high school.
He shared a turning point in his life: in a monthly exam, his English was only 16 points, and he was going to be scolded if he thought about it.
Surprisingly, the teacher called him into the office and, instead of scolding, arranged for him to memorize a few words and then write them out silently.
Then, the teacher was surprised and said, "I didn't expect you to write it out so quickly." Continue to the office tomorrow.
Soon, his English scores came up. Seeing this, several other teachers also used this method to make his grades improve by leaps and bounds.
When he became an adult, he used one word to describe his studies-Unprecedented.
For poor students, you can't habitually criticize, but find his excellent side. If students really don't have excellent points, they can create excellent areas.The teacher quietly gives the changed students their perception of themselves, and once the students accept it, life will begin to counterattack.
Third, the admiration of peers hints that make people excellent.
Adults will think that it is hypocritical for students to say "Wow, that's amazing" to someone.
But think about it, who doesn't have vanity? Adults can do things that slap swollen faces and make fat people, why can't children do it?
Allow your child to have vanity and teach him how to satisfy his or her own vanity. This is what adults should do.
When peers look up to your child, don't say no, but show approval.
In many classes, children with excellent grades will maintain it for a long time, even if there are one or two unsatisfactory grades, he will be disappointed, and then catch up.
We all like to be sought after, and we also like the atmosphere of standing on the stage. Convey such a real psychology to the child, and let the child realize what is proud and complacent, and what is worthy of pride.
Smart parents will teach their children to accept positive cues and stay away from negative cues.
Psychologically, there are four types of suggestion.
The first is to directly hint and deliberately send a signal of stimulation to the child.
The second is indirect hints, paying attention to unintentional words and deeds, and sending signals.
The third is reverse implication, which responds, blocks or accepts certain information from the outside world in a timely manner.
The fourth is self-suggestion, encouraging yourself.
Every child's growth will be disturbed by a lot of signals, positive, negative, incomprehensible, misinterpreted, there are all.
As a parent, there is no guarantee that the child will not accept the wrong things, but you can take the initiative to take the child to recognize the mistake, and know that the mistake can be corrected, and the advantages and disadvantages are avoided.
For example, on the way out of school, a child encounters several adults arguing and can't help but join in the fun. Parents should not blame their children for being "nosy", but should tell them what it means to quarrel – competing interests, emotional disputes, and what kind of punishment adults will be received under the emotional background.
The child who can win to the end must still be able to self-suggest. And this ability to suggest is taught by adults. Parents can use their own ways to get out of the situation as a guide, so that children understand the power of suggestion and know the way to suggest.
Writer Sanmao said: "In my life, I am the protagonist." For the lives of others, we are at best a hint, an encouragement, an inspiration, and a sincere love. ”Obviously, hinting can only enrich the child's life, not replace it.
Borrowing the suggestion effect, it is more about love and a heart. As Lao Tzu said, "There is no trace of good deeds." ”
Perhaps, a casual sentence from parents is a label for children; A word of affirmation is a light for the child.
Adults should affirm more and deny children's growth; Understand more, refute less; More discussions, less conclusions.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.