I've seen such a sentence"The superior man, the man carries the man; Middle-class, crowded; Inferior people, people trample on people. ”
Obviously, when people come to society, they are originally equal, but according to factors such as mental outlook and way of doing things, they gradually form a hierarchy.
In the same way, a family will also be divided into three or six or nine because of wealth, status, spirituality, geographical location, surrounding environment, etc.
Living in a big city is not the same as living in a mountainous area; There is also a big difference between parents who work and parents who are bosses. The decisive factor in the family is "spiritual wealth".
To get back to the point, it is said that a child is born in a different family, and the starting point of his life is different. Reincarnation, to some extent, is really a technical job.
Scholar Zhou Guoping said in "Soil and Seeds": "No matter how good the seed is, if it falls on the stubborn rock, it can only become the food of the bird; If it falls on shallow soil, it can only grow into a dead tree. ”Any child is a good seed, and the family is the soil.
I have to say that the level of the family determines whether the child is outstanding or not.
Superior families, lifting children.
As the saying goes, "A father's love is like a mountain, and a mother's love is like water." ”
The reason why the child can spread his wings and fly high is because he stands on the shoulders of his father and accepts the gentle encouragement of his mother.
Lifting, in the family, is the positive mental state that parents put on every day.
Writer Zeng Ying wrote an article saying that when Ms. Zhu was a child, her father, who participated in the battle, became a negative figure in society because of a special movement.
My father was sent to his hometown in the countryside for labor reform.
The mother is the critical time, draw a clear line, and divorce the father.
His father, who lived in the countryside, relied on farming and fishing in the river to support Ms. Zhu, who was a few years old at the time.
The next-door neighbor is a landlord and an unpopular family. The landlord's daughter, Lu Hua, is in her thirties, and because of her identity, she has never married. But she has a mother's love and cares about Ms. Zhu in every way.
Later, my father and Luhua reorganized the family, and although life was difficult, no one complained about it, and occasionally there was Dongpo meat on the table.
After a few years, my father was rehabilitated and had a job; Ms. Zhu grew up and worked in the provincial capital.
Ms. Zhu is not a big person, but under the support of her father and stepmother, she is getting farther and farther. From the countryside to the county seat, from the county seat to the provincial capital.
It has been said, "Parents are the teachers of children's enlightenment, and children are a mirror of their mothers." ”As an ordinary family, parents cannot give their children a house and a lot of money, but they can discover the advantages of their children and encourage them; can adhere to the harmony of the family and give warmth to the child; You can zoom in on the pattern and talk to your child about everything in the future.
Medium-sized families, let the children go.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren", this sentence is familiar to many parents, and some parents have been letting go of their children.
In fact, there is a scale for letting go, if you can grasp the scale, letting go is love; If the scale is too large, letting go is indulgence.
As the philosopher Immanuel Kant put it: "One of the most complex tasks of education is to combine the compulsion of obedience to the law with the teaching of the child to be adept at the use of his own free power." ”Parents have experienced too many things in their lives, so they use their own experience on their children and pin their hopes on their children, which is human nature, but it is not necessarily right.
The path that children have to take is not necessarily designed by their parents. Learn to respect each other, children will take detours, and may always be at the bottom of society, but they will be very happy and have different successes.
The more successful one in letting go of education is the travel blogger "Xu Xiake".
When Xu Xiake was fifteen years old, he took a children's exam, but failed to pass it. The father did not blame, but adjusted the direction and encouraged him to study hard and be a learned person, not necessarily a jinshi or the like.
Mother is thinking is more relaxed, encouraging Xu Xiake to travel, and I also like to listen to Xu Xiake talk about the experience of travel and the scenery he has seen.
In order to let her mother feel the scenery too, Xu Xiake wrote a diary all the way. Many of the travelogues that were left to the world later were diaries written for my mother.
There is also Zen Master Jigong, who studied in Ruixia Cave in Chicheng Mountain in the north of the village when he was a teenager, and was influenced by the two teachings of Buddhism and Taoism, and his parents did not object; Later, he wanted to become a monk, and it was logical.
The scale of letting go is right, the child may be poor in the future, but there will always be.
Inferior families, trampling on children.
As for the inferior families who trample on their children, there are too many.
Perhaps many rich and powerful parents fall into this category. Because the way they educate their children is not to lift, but to "compare people with people", they can always compare the strong side of their parents with the weakness of their children, and children will always be people who "hate iron and do not make steel".
For example, if a child scores 90 points in the exam, he happily shows his results to his parents. Parents said: "What's the matter, Xiao Ming next door scored 100 points." ”
For example, if a child wants to learn basketball, and as soon as he proposes it, his parents get angry: "You are 1.5 meters tall, you shouldn't be able to touch the basketball hoop." ”
The philosopher Bruno once said, "Sarcasm and belittlement will lead the child to rebel against his parents, against the school, or against the whole world." ”Children make money, and parents dislike too little; The child has a job, and the parents think it is too low-end; The child is in love, and the parents think that the object is unreliable. If you open your mouth and come, you will be able to suppress the child's spirit.
Parents divorce, irresponsible to the family, not filial to the elderly, complaining about society, calculating brothers and sisters, then it is even lower. Put the child's spirit and step on it even lower.
It should not be possible to suppress the enthusiasm of the child to live hard, but to ask the child to go far and climb high.
Psychologist Adler said: "The lucky people use their childhood for a lifetime, and the unfortunate people spend a lifetime for childhood." ”
Giving birth to a child is not just one more person in the family, but also to pay attention to upbringing, implanting lofty ideals in the depths of the child's soul and the spirit and ability to pursue happiness.
Everyone wants their children to become dragons and phoenixes, but parents don't hold them behind their backs, and they press hard, and there is no beauty of the dragon and phoenix dance.
There is a good saying: "Plant a plane tree, and a phoenix will come." ”A good family is a huge plane tree, which matches the phoenix. On the other hand, a bad family is a dead grass on a barren land, and sparrows will not like it.
Parents, when looking forward to their children, reflect on themselves and what level of family they have created.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.