Yelling and nagging are the norm for some parents when faced with the rebellious behavior of their rebellious children. When the child's "rebellion" collides with the parent's idea of "hating iron is not steel", the parents' emotions are very easy to get out of control, and it is inevitable that they will yell or nag at the rebellious child. However, yelling and nagging can have a very small beneficial effect on a rebellious child, and it is likely to make the child even more rebellious.
Yelling will set a bad example for the child, will make the child think that he can also yell at others, and will also make the child feel insecure; Nagging will make children question their parents' love for them, thinking that parents don't love them more and more, and they will gradually become immune to their parents' nagging, and they will not listen to them. On top of that, neither the yelling nor the nagging of parents will solve the problem of rebellion in children, but may create more problems of rebellion.
Therefore, instead of yelling or nagging at rebellious children, parents should adjust their own state and warm their children's hearts with some words that children do not resist to help them grow better.
Interpretation of words. Let's take the example of letting your child tidy up a messy room to see what kind of words parents use to communicate with their children when they are yelling and nagging and parents who don't.
Didactic discourse. Hurry up and clean up this messy room for me. ”
I warn you, if you don't tidy up your room, I'll throw all your toys away. ”
I've been working hard outside, and if you're sensible, you should be considerate and considerate of me and tidy up the house! ”
How many times have you told you to clean up your room, can't you hear it? ”
Regardless of whether parents use yelling to order their children to clean up the room, or nagging their children to tidy up the room, in essence, parents are lecturing their children from their own perspective. However, these didactic words are difficult to arouse children's sense of responsibility and resonance, but will make children feel upset, especially rebellious children who will become more rebellious when they listen to it.
Warm words. I noticed that your room is very messy, I'm afraid it will breed bacteria and cause illness, do you want to clean it up? ”
You'll have to sleep, study, and play in your room! You'll have to sort out where you put your feet! ”
I'll tidy up the toys, you pack up the blocks, let's see who finishes it first, okay? ”
Let's sort these items in your room together! This will make it easier for you to pick it up later. ”
No matter how rebellious a child is, he also longs for the love and understanding of his parents. Only by putting yourself in the child's shoes and considering the problem and experiencing the child's feelings with your heart can you feel the child's emotions, say the words that the child does not contradict, and let the child take the initiative to think about the parents' proposals. In this way, there will be fewer disputes between parents and children, and children will be more willing to open up and communicate with parents, and parents will be able to better understand and help their rebellious children.