Yesterday I had dinner with a few relatives, and after the meal, we sat together and chatted.
There is a relative who is a primary school teacher, and she lamented that time flies so fast, and she has been a primary school teacher for almost 30 years.
I followed her words and said: I really didn't expect that you have a quick temper and bad grades when you were studying, and you have been a teacher for so many years.
As soon as I spoke, I realized that I had said something inappropriate. Sure enough, when this person listened to my words, his face immediately changed: You are just a brain, and my ** grades are not good.
I hurriedly said: I'm kidding, I didn't get good grades when I was studying.
I explained that I said this with no malice, just a joke. But her face didn't improve. I was also a little embarrassed for a while.
After this incident, I reflected on the whole thing and realized that I had made a mistake that I should not have made.
As a middle-aged girl, you have to change your mistakes.
I have recorded my reflections in the hope that they can be used as a warning and that they will be helpful to my dear readers.
In front of acquaintances, don't joke casually
We tend to make the mistake of thinking that acquaintances can joke casually, but in fact, in front of acquaintances, you don't joke casually.
Some acquaintances are relatives, some are friends, and some are colleagues, such feelings are rare, we must cherish them, don't think that we have known each other for many years, and it's okay to make a joke.
If you think so, you're wrong.
Acquaintances know each other very well, and it can be said that a lot of privacy between each other is clear, if you take these out to make a joke, it will definitely make the other party disgusted, make her lose face in front of everyone, and if she doesn't get it, she will turn against you.
When talking to acquaintances, you should actually pay special attention, because your joke may hurt her self-esteem.
What I said to this relative is true, but if I say it in front of everyone, she will not be able to hold her face, and if she ignores it, it is tantamount to acquiescence, and in order to earn back face, she will refute me.
Her rebuttal made me uncomfortable, and it would also make the jokes read by the people around me, and the relationship between us would suffer.
When talking to acquaintances, don't joke casually.
When the other person laughs at themselves, you must not echo them
When some people encounter embarrassing things, they often use self-deprecation to relieve themselves, at this time, you must not echo it.
I have a female relative who is a little fat, and her whole body looks the same, and she can't see her waist. When we were eating together, she touched her waist and said, "My waist is like a bucket, it's annoying."
Another elderly female relative looked at her figure and answered: Why are you so fat, your whole body is as thick as your body.
The relative's face immediately turned red, and she was still talking and laughing, so she immediately stopped talking.
The atmosphere also became delicate. The elderly relative was still talking to her: you have to eat less, or your body will get fatter and fatter.
Originally, when the other party was older, this chubby relative was still ready to ignore her, but when she said this, she couldn't help but stand up: What does it matter to you, it's not to eat your food. With that, she grabbed her bag and left.
The people who left a table looked at each other.
When you meet someone who laughs at herself, don't echo it, the slots on her body, she can say it herself, and it is also a fact, but if it comes out of your mouth, it is different, she will think that you are laughing at her and hitting her.
You think you're going along with her and you're telling the truth, but in fact you've offended her and made an enemy for yourself.
When the other party asks for your opinion, don't talk at length
If someone asks for your opinion, you must not be a good teacher and talk at length.
You think it's good for her, but you think you're self-righteous in her eyes.
A friend of mine spent a lot of money on a coat. When she got to the department, she asked everyone how they were.
A colleague touched her clothes and asked her how much she bought them, and she smiled and stretched out two fingers and said, "It's quite expensive." This colleague said: This dress looks good quality, feels good to the touch, and is very comfortable to wear.
The colleague nodded again and again and smiled from ear to ear.
When another colleague saw the clothes she was wearing, he shouted out in a hurry: You spent so much money to buy it, the color of this dress is not suitable for you. Such a dress is only one-tenth of the ** on the **, and you lose money.
The colleague's face immediately changed, and the atmosphere suddenly cooled down.
I thought that if I told the truth, this colleague in new clothes would be grateful to me, but unexpectedly, the relationship between the two became more and more estranged.
The next day, the colleague wearing new clothes went back to his hometown and brought some fruits, and called the colleagues in the department to eat, but he did not shout the one who told the truth.
Do you know what's going on?
Human nature is like this, everyone wants to be praised by others, no one wants to be blamed and criticized by others, even if they are wrong, they don't want others to point it out in public.
That would hurt her face. Sometimes face is greater than the sky.
As a middle-aged girl, the above three situations must be avoided, don't find yourself unhappy, and don't make enemies for yourself.
There is a saying in the Analects: The water is deep and flows far, and the nobles speak late.
Before speaking, let the words stay in your mouth for three seconds and make yourself a popular middle-aged beautiful girl.