In the process of getting along with others, many people may have this experience or feeling: "The closer the relationship with someone, the more likely it is to have conflict". The longer you spend together, the easier it is to point fingers at each other.
Indeed, getting along with people is a lifelong learning.
I think that if two people want to have a good relationship, they should be inseparable forever like glue. Later, I realized that the best relationship is one that does not distinguish between you and me, but knows each other very well, never goes too far, and never goes too far.
1.Know how to keep your distance between friends.
Zhuangzi said that the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water.
Water here refers to clean water. The relationship between two people should be as light as pure water, not too sweet and not too salty.
Xiaoxiao is a warm-hearted person who cares about others and likes to help others in everything. One day, Xiaoxiao's best friend fell in love, so she went to her best friend's boyfriend's house to inquire about the situation. She also added his WeChat and asked him why he was with her, and her best friend broke up with him. As a result, the girlfriend's boyfriend panicked and ran to inform his girlfriend. As a result, their friendship ended.
Xiaoxiao cried and said, "I don't know why she ignored me, what did I do wrong?" "Am I obviously doing this for her benefit?
Is Xiaoxiao wrong?
Of course not. Her biggest mistake was to interfere in other people's emotional worlds at will.
As we all know, emotions themselves are something that cannot be explained. This is a matter for both sides to decide for themselves, and there is no need for others to lobby. Feelings are a matter between two people. If no one else knows the whole picture, how can it be in her own interest to interfere?
There is a saying that is often true. "When people get along with each other, they first need standards, and then they need temperature. ”
No matter how close your friends are, you need to keep your distance. You need to set standards for what you can and can't touch.
Don't interfere in other people's lives for your own benefit.
True friendship means reaching out when you need something, and not getting in your way when nothing happens.
2.Lovers need to know how to keep their distance.
It has been said that marriage needs a piece of paper to hold the marriage together and give both parties enough freedom to maintain the relationship.
I once watched a blind date show where a couple divorced because they were too close.
A husband complained that his wife was too him.
The wife has the final say on all food, clothing, housing and transportation, and she can't go out at night, and her salary must be handed over to her in full. Even if you buy something you like, you have to report it.
One day, my husband wanted to drink coffee, so he bought a pack of coffee beans. The two argued for two days.
The husband said that his wife's love had taken him breathless and that he had completely lost his freedom and judgment.
The wife continued to defend herself on stage:
Isn't this happening because I love you too much and value you too much? I know it's not easy for you to make money, and I want to save money. "Life! ”
However, a sentence from the love mentor in the show speaks to the essence:
What you do is not love at all, it is love "control!" True love is acceptance, not change. "It's not domination, it's support.
Husbands and wives need to leave each other's private space and not control everything about each other like their own possessions. ”
In marriage, it is a misconception to think that once you are married, there is no distinction between you and me. But actually, there are some things that I don't want to tell even the people I see every day, and I need my own space.
3.Parents need to know how to keep their distance.
Song Qian, Qiao Yingzhi's mother in "Little Huanxi". He is the school's gold medal physics teacher and has a very strong personality. Due to her strong personality, her husband divorced her, and Song Chen became a single mother and lived with her daughter Qiao Yingzi. Because of his unfortunate experience, Song Chen pinned his hopes on his daughter since he was a child, and was extremely strict with Qiao Yingzi, cultivating her like a robot.
Eiko wants to take advantage of the opportunity to go to college to escape her mother's control. Song Qian also cried and said: "I love my mother so much, why does she treat me like this?" ”
You've probably heard the saying that parents and children should keep their doors apart. Let's give each other some freedom.
Love and friendship need distance, and family also needs breathing space. The best distance is not to interfere too much.