My friend A is a standard "good girl".
She has few emotional ups and downs and exposure, and her life choices since she was a child have been based on her parents' opinions, and she is a child who is very "reassuring" to her parents.
Graduated from university and graduate school, worked in a state-owned enterprise, got married and had children, ......
I always thought that she would always be so stable and smooth, but I didn't know some time ago that she had just undergone thyroidectomy.
She saidShe always wanted to make everyone around her happy, but it's too tiring.
At home, she wants to be a "good daughter-in-law" and "good wife", so her dissatisfaction can only be silently suppressed and not expressed positively.
And the habitual commitment at work made her fall into trivial affairs with no sense of worthlessness. She said that all the work in the office that others are unwilling to do, the leader will stuff her. After the surgery, she began to ask herself what the meaning of staying here ......
Little A's story reminds meVenus in each female chart.
This star corresponds to the intrinsic value of womenWhen it is coerced by the external standard of "reality", the soft aspect that originally gave love and nourishment will be distorted and "objectified".
Venus, which is objectified, will present a state of self-oppression, blindly pleasing to the outside, only knowing to be obedient and pandering, and ignoring the true self.
But for Venus, perhaps a healthier usage would be:It is better to please others than yourself。You can always choose to live the way you want.
And this is the truth of Venus.
Revelation of Venus
Always respect yourself
Unwilling to objectify oneselfAphrodite
In Greek mythology, Aphrodite, the goddess of Venus, was so charismatic that she was married by Zeus to Hephaestus, the ugliest lame god of smelting.
Hephaestus' skilled craftsmen were able to create beautiful ornaments for Aphrodite, including a delicate belt of pure gold that would make all men who met her fall in love with her, and would also be the icing on the cake for Aphrodite's beauty, enough to satisfy her vanity.
Although the god of smelting was so fond of her that she created countless jewels for the goddess Venus, she still did not have a son with him. In mythological archetypes, the goddess Venus represents values as well as self-worthShe has never objectified herself, but is constantly looking for her own heartbeat moments, freely chasing love and the meaning of life.
Of course, in modern society, we cannot indulge ourselves without regard for morality and responsibility, as we do in mythology. But we can still see a very sparkling hint inside: please alwaysRespect your self-worth.
When the goddess tries to please
When you try to please everyone, you lose your self-worth.
If the goddess Venus also becomes humble to dust, perhaps the god of smelting, who once groveled to the goddess of Venus, will no longer offer her his best works, but will reveal his most brutal side and enslave the goddess of Venus for his own use.
And if this is the case, the goddess Venus will also feel that she can only match the ugly god at the foot of the slope, and then give up on herself, and her whole life will revolve around pleasing the god of smelting and the theme of giving birth to him a child. If she still has no children under her knees, she may doubt her fertility and continue to be sneered at by the smelting gods, even with fists and kicks.
Such a Venusian goddess, even if she is thrown into the furnace to be tested, alsoI can't regain my radiant charm from my radiant complexion.
Love yourself enough
to have the ability to love others
Despite Venus's vain, superficial, and selfish side, we should never deny the importance of maintaining our self-worth, both outwardly and spiritually. If you love yourself enough, you can have enough energy to love others and not be easily objectified by society.
In the astrological chart, Venus represents our ability to identify with our own worth. The relationship it governs is not a romantic relationship like the water element, but an interactive relationship based on the establishment of values.
If the sense of value is low, then it is especially necessaryKeep an eye on your own VenusWhether it is in a position where energy is not working smoothly, such as Venus**, or Venus has a hard aspect to Saturn, or Venus is in the 12th house and 6th house.
Venus's relational interactions with others are a grinder for a person to gradually develop their self-worth. Deep enough relationships can help develop one's personality. And through the polishing of relationships, we often develop a healthy self-personality, so that you can mirror each other with the sun in the astrolabe and complete your heroic journey.
Venus is all about sorting out our self-identity by defining everything we feel valued. It is like a mirror, a reflection of who you are through everything you hold dear, and the things we love are a reflection of ourselves.
Plato said, "To look at the reflection on the beloved person's face is to peek into the god to whom a man's soul belongs." ”
After all, we will learn that the most important function of Venus is not to map a relationship, butThrough this relationship, see how you position yourself as self-worth？We are also exploring ourselves through Venus, through the reflection of the things we love, and exploring the best and most noble possibilities.
in a relationship
Polishing the love and light of Venus
Good girl
Maybe it's the shell of inner scarcity
On the other hand, in our lives, how many people want to find love and recognition in the mode of pleasing and pleasing others. Feeling that you are not good enough to meet the expectations of others, and you are afraid that you will not be able to meet the needs of others, and as a result, you will exhaust your mental strength.
It's all because of:They put it downself-worth。Perhaps they will often criticize themselves and deny themselves, and they also lack the courage to face being hated and rejected, and would rather wronged themselves than live as a "good girl" who meets the expectations of others.
Behind their constant flattery, there has always been a hidden need in their hearts to be loved and recognized: they want to ask for affirmation and recognition from the outside worldSatisfy the lack of your heart。At the heart of this flattering model is a defensive approach to pretend to be humble or polite.
In the way of being kind to others and bringing peace and love to the worldto create your own protective caseCover up your own inner lack and vulnerability, and seek the acceptance of others and self-acceptance.
However, only if they themselves alsoSee the pitfalls of this "flattering" modeland they will be healed. Instead of gradually becoming a "machine" without emotion and soul, constantly trying to please and give, exhausting itself, and finally even having nothing.
Deliberately pleasing is actually the greatest harm to oneself, and it is also the greatest destruction of one's self-worth and life。Because she will build all her sense of self-worth in the outside world. Unable to accept and recognize the true and imperfect self from the bottom of the heart, and not believing that he can give himself affirmation.
They are addicted to the recognition of others, and only when they get "good-looking", "great", and "appreciated" evaluations from others will they feel that they are good, capable, and worthy of love.
At the heart of all these issues ultimately point to one point-The pleaser can't see his true self.
Break through want
Live your true poweramount
Dean Frank once said that astrology is a very useful tool to better understand yourself and accept yourself. If you feel that you are lacking in your heart and cannot feel loved, pay more attention to your Venus. There is a winning formula to please yourself and exude your own charm.
If you are still young, enjoy the pleasures of Venus and the pure beauty of Venus.
If you have experienced the return of Saturn at the age of 30, then the value of Venus is even more valuable. It is necessary not only to "balance career and family", but also to enjoy the beauty of independence as a woman. After experiencing the polishing of Saturn, perhaps in the life of chicken feathers, you can still remember your self-worth and not be objectified by society.
Perhaps, everyone's Venus needs the trials of life to achieve。No matter where you are in your Venus forging journey, you may be able to try:
Accept all your emotions;
See all your vulnerability;
Finally, be your true and free self.
We don't need to be the "perfect self" in the eyes of others, to be true to ourselves and accept ourselvesLive the way you want to beIt's perfect.
How about the 12 zodiac signs
Pleasing your Venus?
With Venus in the zodiac signs, how do you break free from the "flattering mode"? Accept yourself and love yourself, how do you do it?
Venus Aries
Accepting yourself, seeing what your heart's truest needs are, whether you want to take the initiative in the relationship, being very direct and bold, and even being particularly competitive are the biggest characteristics of Venus Aries.
Don't suppress your competitive spirit and fearless spirit for the sake of other people's eyes, and find self-worth in competition and challenges. Maintaining self-confidence, your sense of speed and initiative is a very big source of charm for you.
Venus Taurus
Accept yourself and see your need for material security, even though you have a very strong endurance, you also need to let others know that your bottom line is in.
At the same time, don't give up your selfish and possessive side because you are considerate of others, because you are yourself, you need to use your body language to receive warmth and security, and you also need not to lose control, but stick to your own beliefs and possess material wealth that makes you feel safe.
You like to live routines and don't take yourself out of your comfort zone in order to please others, or do risky things to challenge your sense of security. If someone says you're too slow or too passive, it's because they don't know how to appreciate your natural beauty.
Venus in Gemini
Accept that you are eloquent, have a variety of interests, and have a special talent for languages. It may not be possible for any relationship to satisfy you. Always love fresh excitement to feed your endless curiosity.
Understand your inner needs, and when a relationship can't give enough freedom and freshness, don't be trapped in it, but take the initiative to quit with confidence and maintain a good relationship with the other person.
Understand your bottom line, and let yourself freely release your nature in the verbal game. Understand the value of your own mind and find someone who can appreciate your ideas, rather than condescending to others to lower your own thinking.
Venus in Cancer
Understand whether your insecurities are because you are afraid of losing the relationship, so you are too pleasing to others, and you are responding positively to the needs of others. Seeing the thick protective shell you put over yourself for fear of being hurt, find a safe and warm haven of rest.
Have family or friends who can really support you and protect you unconditionally. Be more aware of your emotional moments and see if you are afraid of losing something or if you can't meet what part of your expectations.
Take back some of the nourishment and care given to others and make it more with yourself, let yourself accept yourself and warm yourself, and cultivate your own courage to take the risks and consequences of your choices.
Venus in Leo
Accepting one's pride and exaggerating one's emotions is why Leo will never hide his sincerity. Although it can be unrealistic and even childish at times, it is just that you want to be praised and appreciated by others, and you are a little pompous.
Embrace these lovely and innocent places in yourself, because the bright enthusiasm and warmth in you can also light up and inspire many people. Knowing what makes you gifted is what inspires you and others. Find your own territory and audience and unleash your natural instincts.
Venus **
No longer overly critical of oneself, or with a strong sense of inferiority towards feelings, thinking that oneself is not worthy, so that they are not relaxed enough and suffer from gains and losses. Don't suppress your most natural and pleasurable nature, accept what you have, and accept what you don't perfect.
Seeing your own good qualities of empathy and gentleness and kindness, because accepting yourself is what makes it easier for you to accept a relationship. When you discover that no one is perfect, you will relax, stop being overly suspicious of yourself and others, and enjoy the beauty of the present moment in life. Always remember to praise yourself for your unique self-worth, because your existence is good.
Venus in Libra
Knowing that you are very good at coordinating one-on-one relationships can also make you feel very comfortable in intimate relationships, because you can always anticipate the needs of others in advance, and fulfill the needs of others even if you are wronged. It's both a gift and a pressure, and you need to pay more attention to what you're actually getting in the relationship.
Whether the relationship is a pas de deux and your friendliness may also make you always over-compromise or give too much to others, but it is a disservice to yourself.
There is a tendency to despise self-worth at times, and you need to understand that even if you are selfish, you need to be brave enough to be yourself and express your true thoughts, even if you are selfish. Even if you have been elegant, considerate, and friendly, you have to tear it off.
Venus Scorpio
You need to accept more possibilities in the relationship, and not be too absolute, either you want to swallow the other person completely, completely possess the other person, or you will block the person.
This extreme experience is very intense and exciting, but it is also too extreme and intense, and you need to accept that some people can exist in another way in life, or that your strong desire to control your relationship is due to your fear of being hurt or betrayed.
Although you don't tend to go with the flow, sometimes a strong sense of loneliness can drown you out. Understand your own characteristics, understand that you are born alone, do not bow to social expectations, use your magician-like power in your field of interest, and find the strong person who can hold the depth and concentration of your emotions in the relationship.
Venus in Sagittarius
You may be seen as heartless or idealistic, but that's who you really are. You need to escape from reality for a while and run to your ideal country to relax. It's not your fault that you don't like to live in the moment, you just fit poetry and distance. Those brighter climates, more distant horizons, or something or someone who is out of reality will always have an infinite attraction to you.
If you are tired of your daily life and have to take responsibility for everyone, you will find yourself trapped in a small space with no way to breathe. Please never give up your pursuit of space and freedom, your tolerance and open-mindedness only belong to the blue sky.
Venus Capricorn
Have a polite self-protection mechanism, as you are born with a strong sense of insecurity and are prone to have strong defense mechanisms in emotional relationships. It's hard to get to know your inner world, and there's a lot of control in the relationship. Accept your own insecurity, as well as your desire for power and prestige, and earn the respect of others through your own efforts.
Understand that there are many things in life that may be beyond your control, or that other people's commitments will change. Try to express your true feelings in a safe environment, respecting your values of commitment and time. Appreciate your ability to appreciate antiques, as well as your ability to appreciate "scumbags".
Venus in Aquarius
You need to understand and embrace your uniqueness, because your ideas can often be shocking and experimental. You need your partner to be on the same frequency as you, to be able to swim with you in all kinds of exciting, high-IQ or creative scenes, or to be able to socialize with all kinds of people as you want is also your real need for freedom.
See these needs and meet them as much as possible. Be more confident in showing your beauty that stands out from the crowd and don't be afraid to get into deep intimacy with others. Because true intimacy can be infinitely inclusive, of course, you can also withdraw and enjoy your personal space at any time, as a bystander to test whether the relationship is worth continuing.
Accepting your loneliness, your independence and freedom, is what makes you so detached from the world, blooming with dazzling and unique beauty.
Venus in Pisces
Although you are born with the talent to soothe others, you also need to have a clearer appeal and plan for yourself, learn how to make choices in the relationship, and can make commitments, rather than blindly avoiding the problems in the relationship.
It is necessary to go through various moments of disillusionment in the relationship, to put the previous illusions of the relationship into reality, and not to complete the transformation in a self-destructive way. While it's easy to lose yourself in a relationship or live as others expect, you need to be cautious about the traps of borderlessness and self-pity.
Although you use self-pity or service to others to control others, you will lose your sense of self-boundaries, and eventually lose your self and self-worth. Please reduce your dependence on the other half of the relationship as much as possible, and be yourself more powerful and independent, rather than being governed by the will and desires of others.
Conclusion:
FinallyMay we all walk out of the path of our unique selves and bravely explore infinite self-worthDon't rely on, don't cling
Each person is a unique being in the world.
Only by appreciating one's own unique beauty can one be worthy of all the good.
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Written by | stellar
Edit |Speechless.
Typography |Xiao Nuan.