Hello everyone:
In the new year, we have prepared a "family joke" for everyone, and at the same time, I wish you all a happy Year of the Dragon and a happy family!
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
Child: Why do you want to wipe the cotton balls for me before the injection?
Father: That's alcohol, they're going to take your ass firstRub drunk, it won't hurt if you prick it again.
Kid:Then I'm going to rub it more, I drink a lot, and I still hurt a little bit last time!
Father: ......Cover your face).
The most envious is in Journey to the WestTang Seng, I don't have to take a shower myself, and every two episodes there is a monster who says: ".The little ones, wash the monk clean.
Once on the bus, a very cute little boy said to his mother, ".A pinch of hair on the top, a pinch of hair on the bottom, together become a pinch of hair, what kind of hair is that?
There was a snickering in the car.
Syllable! "Who did you learn from?! The child's mother slapped the little boy in anger, and the little boy covered his face and criedIt was taught by the teacher, and it was about eyelashes.
I went to work in the morning, walking in the community, and suddenly a Lori came out of the back, and I ran to the door of the community with my schoolbag on my back at the age of three, and it seemed that I was going to take the school bus, and I suddenly fell down in front of me.
I was just about to run to help her, but she got up on her own and said angrily: ".Why didn't you fall to your death, you don't have to go to kindergarten if you fall to death.
The father asked his son, "Who will you marry in the future?" ”
The son said, "I'm going to marry my grandmother, she loves me!" ”
Dad scolded, "You fart! How can you marry my mother? ”
The son retorted: "You can marry my mother as a wife, why can't I marry your mother!" ”
One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "How old are you?" ”
Xiao Ming said: "I am five years old. ”
The teacher asked again, "Then how old is your father?" ”
Xiao Ming thought for a while and said, "Dad is also five years old. ”
The teacher said, "Think about it again, how old is your father?" ”
Xiao Ming said: ".He has been a dad since the day I was born, now exactly five years old. ”
When I met a child eating ice cream in the elevator, I reminded him with concern, "Be careful not to catch a cold." ”
The child proudly told me that his grandmother lived to be 103 years old.
I was curious and asked, "Is it because of ice cream?" ”
The child said proudly, "No," he saidMy grandma never liked to meddle with other people's business!
Suddenly it dawned on me that the secret of longevity wasDon't worry about it
The son was doing his homework at home, and the children kept calling his name below, and his mother: "I can't go out until I finish my homework." ”
Son: "Mom, can I open the window and scream?" ”
Mother: "Yes! ”
The son opened the window and shouted: ".Let my unhappy childhood go by as the years go by!
I went to work in the morning, walking in the community, and suddenly a Lori came out of the back, and I ran to the door of the community with my schoolbag on my back at the age of three, and it seemed that I was going to take the school bus, and I suddenly fell down in front of me.
I was just about to run to help her, but she got up on her own and said angrily: ".Why didn't you fall to your death, you don't have to go to kindergarten if you fall to death.
Several of the children in the neighborhood are four or five years old, and they usually like to play together in groups.
Once, in order to amuse them, I said to them, ".Don't call me Daddy, or my stomach hurts
As a result, they chased and called my father, and chased and shouted for several streets!
If you like it, pay attention....Pay attention!