Hello everyone:
In the new year, we have prepared a "family joke" for everyone, and at the same time, I wish you all a happy Year of the Dragon and a happy family!
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
The son asked his father: Why is the word "surname" derived from the word "female" and "born." ”
Dad said: "Because a woman has to choose a name when she gives birth to a child, for example, if your mother gives birth to you, you will have my surname Xu and my name will be Xiaogang." ”
Xiao Gang thought about it and asked, "Who is the surname of the child born to a man?"
Dad said, "Men don't have children." “
Xiao Gang said: "No! The word nephew means that the man gives birth to a child, and the nephew is not the child that the man gives birth to? ”
The wife and her husband quarreled, and the wife wanted to take her son back to her parents' house for the New Year in a fit of anger, but the son said that she wouldn't go, and the wife suddenly said angrily: "Rabbit cub, why don't you go to grandma's house?" Doesn't Grandma hurt you? ”
I only heard my son crying aggrievedly: "Grandma loves me very much, but grandma's mobile phone is not smart."
On a whim, I wanted to test whether my daughter could sort out the relationship between family members, so I asked her:
Who is Mom and Dad? "— Grandma".
What about Mommy's Mommy? "—Grandma".
So who are you grandma? "—Auntie and Grandma".
Who are you grandma? "—Little Ancestor".
I think it's necessary to talk to two old people.
When I was riding the elevator just now, I saw a child, and he asked me, "Sister, what time is it?" ”
I wanted to tease him when I saw that he was cute, so I suppressed my voice and said, "You can actually see me?" ”
Then he smiled and said, ".Sister, your face is so big, of course I can see you!
In one class, the teacher asked, "Who can make a sentence with 'the truth revealed'?" ”
Xiaohong was the first to raise her hand, and the teacher asked her to answer.
Xiaohong said: "My family has a dog named Dabai, and Dabai gave birth to a puppy named Xiaobai, and Xiaobai looks goodIt's like a big white
The teacher shook his head speechlessly.
The girl goes to the small class ......Teach her to do the math: What is 24 minus 0?
She shook her head and told me that she couldn't figure it out, and when she was depressed, she suddenly thought that she could use a metaphor to make her understand, and then said, if your mother bought you 24 pencils at once, and you didn't use any of them, how many were left?
The girl replied amazingly: there was still a lot of ...... left
One day, five-year-old Xiaohui looked at her aunt's face and said, "Auntie, your face is like a peach!" ”
My aunt happily hugged her left and right, and asked, "How is it like?" ”
The little niece innocently replied: "There are fine hairs on it." ”
It was hot, Zhou Wei's son wanted to eat sorbet, I let him eat one in the morning, and in the afternoon he couldn't help it, and quietly ran to the refrigerator to open the freezer door, but I found out, I shouted: "I can't eat it!" ”
The son was very aggrieved and muttered: "There is an ice cream that tells me that it wants a warm home, and I want to help it!" ”
Hahaha! Today's kids really make excuses)
My son took my hand and said, "Dad, there's an old uncle outside who is very pitiful, and he keeps screaming outside, so Dad, can you give me two dollars?" I want to give it to him. ”
Dad said: "Good boy, you will pity the old man since you were a child, you deserve praise, give you two dollars." ”
After less than three seconds, Dad asked, "Oh, by the way, what did that old uncle call him?" ”
Son: "Ice cream, 2 yuan a piece!" Come on! ”
Oops, I'm dripping mom too).
The mother went out with her two-year-old son, the son was a little fat, the mother hugged for a while, felt very tired, and said to her son: "Mom's arms are sore, the baby is good, is it okay to walk by yourself?" ”
After listening to this, the son turned to his mother's armLickAfter a moment, he smiled and said, "Mom lied,."Not sour at all
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