Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Funny Primary School Student Collection" (Attached: I wish you all a Happy New Year!;It's cold, so keep warm!）
Three children talk together about what is the most poisonous thing!
Child A: "Mosquitoes are the most poisonous, my brother's hand was bitten by a mosquito, and it was red and itchy. ”
Child B: "Wasps are the most venomous, my brother was stung in the face by a wasp, and he is still swollen and painful. ”
Child C thought for a long time and said, "I don't know what pierced my sister, her belly is swollen and round and big!."”
The teacher asked: Xiao Ming, please use "dilemma" to form a sentence.
Xiao Ming said: I was in a dilemma during the exam.
The teacher asked: Is the question too difficult for you to be in a dilemma?
Xiao Ming said: No, it's because the answers of the two students on the left and right are different, which makes me in a dilemma.
In the morning, I poured water for my son to drink, and told him by the way: "Look, this cup is hot water and that cup is cold water, and you can't drink it." Pour two glasses of water together and neutralize them until they become lukewarm and ready to drink. ”
When I went to bed at night, I complained: "In this weather, it's a little hot to cover a thick quilt, and a little cold to cover a thin quilt......."”
The son immediately said, "I see!".That night, I covered the thick quilt and the thin quilt, so that it was just right. ”
I almost didn't faint laughing!」
When my son came home from school and said that their Chinese teacher asked me to go to school every day, I asked my son what was going on, and my son said, "The homework left by the teacher yesterday asked me to change 'the bird cries in the tree' to an anthropomorphic sentence, and I didn't change it correctly." “
I asked, "How did you change that?"“
The son said, "The bird cried out in the tree, 'I am a man, I am a man!'"‘“
My mom, I almost didn't faint laughing at the time!」
When he took his son to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, he saw the frozen fish in the freezer and asked, "Dad, why do you put these things in the refrigerator?"”
Dad: "They won't stink when they freeze!."”。
When I got home and watched TV for a while, I wanted to get a bottle of water to drink, and when I opened the refrigerator: "I'll go, who put my shoes and socks in the refrigerator......."”
Haha, this operation simply amused me!」
Xiaomi, who had just started preschool, accompanied her mother to see her grandfather, who happily sealed a red envelope for Xiaomi.
Xiaomi took the red envelope to thank her grandfather, handed the red envelope to her mother seriously, and said, "Please collect my salary." ”
Mom smiled and asked, "You're only five years old, and you don't go to work, what is the salary for **?"”
Xiaomi said unconvinced: "Why didn't I go to work, am I not in preschool?".”
The son was playing in the community at home when he heard someone talking, "Xiao Ming's mother is a shrew!".”
When the son came home, he asked his mother curiously, "Mom, why do so many people say that you are a shrew?"”
Mother: "That's when they praised your mother for being a lively woman."
Unexpectedly, when my son went to his grandmother's house, when he saw his grandmother, he asked, "Grandma, are you a shrew?"”
The son shouted, "Dad, Xiao Ming's parents took Xiao Ming to the haunted house last week, and I want to go too." ”
I said to my son, "Son, you are still young, and it is easy to scare you, so I will go when you are older." ”
When my son heard this, he rolled on the ground, and I had to argue, but I had to agree.
On the weekend, our family of three went to the haunted house to play, I thought the child would be scared, but as soon as he came out, he shouted loudly: "Dad, I thought the ghost was so scary, but I didn't expect it to be scary when my mother was angry!."“
When my wife heard this, her face was black!
My mom, I almost didn't faint laughing at the time!」
The wife saw that her son was playful and said, "Son, mom will test you, if you know how to let you play, if you can't, you will do my homework." ”
The son nodded and said, "Okay, Mom." “
My wife asked, "What is 4 plus 16?"”
The son replied, "It's equal to 20." ”
The daughter-in-law took out a dollar and rewarded her son and said, "It's so smart, it's so quick to figure it out, and give you a dollar to buy a popsicle." ”
The son took the money and said to his wife, "Mom, you can ask a few more questions!."Let my dad do the math. ”
I had a sour nose when I heard it, and I thought to myself, I really deserve to be my son, I know that I feel sorry for your father and has no pocket money.
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death!」
The family was watching TV, and suddenly the power went out, and I said to my son, "Son, you go to the neighbor's house to borrow some candles, do you know what to say?"As I spoke, I turned on the flashlight function of my mobile phone and turned it on for my son.
After a while, my son came back and said to me, "Dad, there's no one in the neighborhood." “
I just heard my neighbor still talking and laughing at TV, so I asked my son, "Did you knock on the door?"“
The son actually said, "No, but the neighbor's house didn't turn on the lights." “
At that time, my wife and I laughed so badly!
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