I went to the convenience store to buy ice cream and felt like I was stuck in a crush because I thought the cashier was very good-looking, and my heart beat a beat slower when I saw him.
Sign up for public welfare, the young lady in the same group speaks with a good voice, a good smile, and even the length of her fingers is just right, as soon as she looks at you, you are about to melt.
If you look closely, you may find that the "affection" for a person is random. The other person may be different from your ideal type in every way, but it does not affect your love for him.
If a person is like a rainbow, he knows it when he meets it.
Of course, it is not good to be able to go hand in hand with the person you like to the end just by heartbeat. One of the most important issues in love, in the final analysis, is getting along .
Just like some people, they are loved by everyone and are proficient in the way of getting along with others, and the natural "peach blossom luck" is also good. On the contrary, those who are not very well received may also encounter more problems in love.
For example: someone likes to be idle and has nothing to do** someone else's computer or mobile phone screen;
Obviously a roommate in a dormitory, but he has never cleaned up;
When someone borrows money, he is pitiful, and when he pays back, he transforms into your uncle;
Some people are good teachers and "guide the maze" of people's lives everywhere, as if others have lived in vain, and only he is the most correct;
Someone sends a "bird photo" to the opposite sex without consent on social media....
There are countless examples of these lives, would you like to fall in love with all of the above? Forgive me for being blunt, don't say that you fall in love with such a person, even if you are friends, there are contradictions.
Maybe there are "some people" above, they don't have malicious intentions, they just don't know how to get along with people.
Yes, we don't know how to get along with people from the beginning. There is a cliché that the most comfortable way to do to others and to oneself is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Being able to empathize from the perspective of others is both an ability and a habit.
After mastering the ability to empathize, love also allows us to accelerate the discovery of our "faults".
Personally, I am an easily emotional person who is prone to escalation of quarrels in relationships. For example, if the other person doesn't cook a meal that suits my taste, I have to blame the other person for not loving me. In fact, the taste of the food has nothing to do with whether the other person loves me or not, and the reason why I have this emotion is because I want to be cared for by the other person.
After understanding this, I adjusted myself, and my ability to talk about things has improved, my ability to express my needs, and my ability to talk about love has also improved.
Of course, not all people who are in a relationship can keenly discover the real problem.
My friend Miss L used to have a boyfriend who was very handsome, but she often lost her temper over trivial matters. Once he called L **, and dialed 3 times in a row, L did not receive it (because L forgot to turn on the ringtone of his mobile phone at that time and walked on the noisy street again), and as a result, the man was cold and violent L for three whole days because of this matter.
Later, it wasn't until they broke up that L realized that in this relationship, the boy she liked so much only cared about her own feelings, and the boy's care and love for her was almost pitiful.
The reason why Miss L has maintained this relationship before this is that she mistakenly thinks that something must be wrong with herself, and it is her failure to do a good job here and there that causes the boy to be unhappy.
You see, there are other people who have the fault. Knowing this, she was very happy to break up, she said, finally got rid of the "stinky face monster".
yes, Miss L deserves someone better.
My friend told me about a man before, her friend A. A partnered with her boyfriend to start a business, but was PUA by the other party, and he tried his best but ended up cheating on the other party.
After the breakup, A said that he was too stupid, and now he is fine, and he is empty of people and money.
Don't be deceived by a man next time, even if you start a business in partnership with your other half, you have to charge at the original price, and the next time you fall in love, you must be cautious, enter the market cautiously, be vigilant, and will not pay for others again. ”
Speaking of which, I'm thinking,After we have experienced this heart-wrenching failed relationship, is there a way to avoid some "dangerous objects"!
By being vigilant?
I am vigilant, worrying all day long about whether you want to spend my money, whether you sleep with me because you want to take advantage of me, and start a business with me to take advantage of me, so how will you fall in love in the future? I can't talk about it because I'm scared.
Start as a friend?
Get to know each other more before falling in love, so that falling in love becomes a natural thing. However, not everyone is in the same state before and after falling in love, or in case you meet someone, the attitude before and after falling in love is similar, once you get married...At this time, if you find out that you are not ladylike, it will be too late.
Thinking about it, it seems that there is also an element of luck, if you are lucky to meet a good person, if you are unlucky, it is indeed very bad.
So your own feelings are especially important, are you comfortable with the other person? Possessed, hurt, violent, instrumentalized, belittled, used...These feelings are uncomfortable, and once you find it, you must learn to "extricate yourself".
It is not excluded that the other party is a natural PUA master, who can discover your weaknesses and take advantage of them.
People who value masculinity, the other party will say, you should pay more, bear more, so that you are more manly. People with low self-esteem, the other party will say, you can't do this little thing well, no one will love you except me.
But a person who truly loves you only wants you to be a better person. He will tell you with actions that it's okay for a guy to cry, you have a lot of flashes in you, and you deserve to be loved ......
Going back to the question we had at the beginning, "Have we learned from our failed relationships?" ”
Experience, this thing does learn a lot.
However, starting a new relationship is also the first time you meet someone, isn't it? Anyway, it would be nice if I could meet someone who I could grow up with this time and never have to be separated again.
What lessons have you learned from your previous relationships? Leave a message in the comment area to talk about it