Why is it like a different person when you fall in love?

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-02-01

The cognitive-affective model of personality tells usWhen faced with a particular situation or a particular person, we have different patterns of thinking, feeling, and behavior, and therefore exhibit a specific personality, which we call a relationship-specific personality.

We often hear a saying called"Love makes a man lose himself".Many people will find that they don't seem to be like themselves anymore when they are in love, independent in life and work, but they become "clingy" in front of their lovers; Treat others humbly and politely, but in front of lovers is very willful.

Maybe it's not about losing yourself, it's about the specific personality of a relationship(Let's call it the "love personality").It's a trick.

A recent study has shown that there is indeed a "love personality", andAs the relationship time lengthens, the gap between the "love personality" and the everyday personality may become larger and wider.

The main purpose of the study is the relationship between the "love personality" and the everyday personality. In the experiment, couples filled out a personality questionnaire several times a year to measure their level of the Big Five (extraversion, openness, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism) in their daily lives and relationships.

The results show that in the early stage of love, there is a high correlation between daily personality and "love personality", which is also in line with the cross-context consistency of personality, and a person who is serious and responsible in daily life will also have a higher degree of conscientiousness in the relationship.

However, with the extension of the relationship time, the participants' "love personality" will change more than the daily personality, showing higher plasticity. In short,The "love personality" ends up showing significant differences from everyday personality.

Specifically, for those who are in love, the level of neuroticism (whether a person is emotional, nervous and anxious) decreases, but agreeableness (whether a person has a good temper, trusts easily, and is kind-hearted) increases, while the daily personality of male participants does not change significantly.

And in the "love personality", both men and women, neuroticism and agreeableness show a downward trend.

Decreased nervousnessIt may be because of the company and sharing of lovers, the negative emotions in life will be dissolved;

Reduced pleasantnessIt shows that as the relationship deepens, we may become harsh compared to our previous attitude towards our lovers.

Of course, this is not necessarily a bad thing, perhaps quarrels and run-ins are the only way for every intimate relationship to go deeper.

It can be seen that love does have a certain impact on people's personality, and research does provide evidence for the phenomenon of "two faces" in love. However, it is important to note that these changes are only statistically general trends and do not mean that everyone will show the same changes.

Just like we can also find in life, some people will become more gentle when they are in love, while others will become melancholy when they are in love. This also shows that even if personality is affected by romantic relationships, there are individual differences in this influence.

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