Who will you go back to for the New Year? This is a problem that has always plagued the husband and wife, and even became the fuse for the dispute between the husband and wife during the "New Year". **The interview found that in recent years, some young people have simply not made a choice and decided to "go back to their own homes and find their own mothers". In addition to the "husband and wife separation" New Year, this generation of young people has also come up with a variety of new ways to celebrate the New Year.
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"Each goes back to his own home, and each finds his own mother".
From 2019 to the present, this is about to be the fifth year that Xiao Sa and her husband "go back to their respective homes" for the New Year. Xiao Sa said that she respects families who choose to visit relatives in various ways, but her position is that she wants to go back to her own home more and cannot lose her position because of maintaining the relationship between husband and wife.
When it comes to the couple's relationship, communication comes first. For example, many families may choose to go back to the man's house for the Chinese New Year, and when one day you say that you want to go back to their own home, the man will wonder - 'What's wrong with me, you're going to go back to your house?' Therefore, when Xiao Sa first got married, she discussed the matter with her husband and put her ideas on the surface, and the process went smoothly.
Xiao Sa told *** that she believes that the understanding and support of her parents is the most critical point for couples to be able to go back to their respective homes for the New Year. At first, she thought that her parents would be slower to accept this new idea than young people, and she was afraid that her parents would be unhappy, afraid that they would think that their marriage was unhappy, but when she was praised by both parents, she didn't even expect it to go so well.
has been married for 15 years, and He Jing has always been with her parents for the New Year. She settled in Guangzhou, and her parents usually help take care of the children, because her hometown Shaanxi is relatively cold in winter, and the children are too young, so the parents and children stay in the south to celebrate the New Year with her. The in-laws like to spend the New Year in their hometown, and the husband goes back to his hometown to accompany his in-laws.
We all think it's a good way to take care of the elderly on both sides. He Jing said that in this regard, her husband is easier to speak, and her in-laws are also very open-minded.
Liu Ge, who has a son and a daughter, also said that he has been celebrating the New Year at his parents' house for many years, and some relatives and friends around him are also the same. Because of the different eating habits from her in-laws, and because there were trivial matters at home that she needed to deal with during the New Year, Liu Ge chose to go back to her own house with her husband for the New Year.
I'll handle my family's affairs, and he'll handle his family's affairs, and the two of us can live our own lives. Faced with the matter of convincing their parents, Liu Ge said.
When I go back to my parents' house, do I have to wait until the second day of the first month?
Chinese New Year's Eve in the mother-in-law's house, the second year of the new year to return to the mother's house", is a traditional practice in some places.
This year is the second year of Jingjing's marriage, according to local customs, the first year of marriage to go to the man's house for the New Year, after spending an unaccustomed and homesick Spring Festival, she and her husband proposed to go back to their respective homes for the New Year this year. However, whenever she took her children to fight with her in-laws, they all said that they missed their children very much, asked the children to go back for the New Year, and said that the family of three could not be separated for the New Year.
I can understand how the elderly want to have children, but I rarely have time to go home with my parents, and the four-hour drive home is not a walk-and-go, so it is difficult to satisfy both parties. Jingjing said helplessly.
She also said that her parents hoped that their daughter would accompany them at home during the New Year, but they still asked if they wanted to send her back, for fear that her in-laws would not be happy, and said that it was not good for a family of three to be separated.
Xiao Sa also mentioned that some relatives and friends around her questioned her and her husband's way of celebrating the New Year, and some put forward local customs and rules to persuade her not to go back to her parents' home for the New Year, such as "You can't go back to your parents' house before the second day of junior high school", "It's unlucky to celebrate the New Year at your parents' house", "A family of three can't be separated during the New Year", etc.
I didn't just hear these words, but someone talked to me directly face to face, as if the sky would fall when I went back to my parents' house for the New Year. But I don't think I can be bound by traditional ideas, and I choose to 'automatically block' these views, after all, when I go home, my parents are the happiest. Xiao Sa said.
She wrote such a sentence on social ** - "Occasionally, relatives and friends will tell me the 'big truth' of the people who have come over, but it doesn't matter, my left ear goes in and out of the right ear, no matter what others think, it's good that we are happy." ”
This generation of young people began to celebrate the New Year in a fancy way
In addition to going back to their respective homes, this generation of young people has also come up with a variety of new ways to celebrate the New Year.
Xiao Sa observed the practices of some relatives and friends around him, some of them adopted a "shift system", that is, they went to the man's house for a year, and then went to the woman's house for a year, and some organized the parents of both sides to travel together.
She also had her husband **, how to celebrate the New Year after having a child, and finally the two reached an agreement: before the child reaches the age of three, neither of them will go home, stay to take care of the child, or take both parents over for the New Year; After the age of three, they still go back to their own homes, and as for where the child wants to go, leave the choice to him and let him make his own decisions.
Liu Ge also believes that children are not a factor that restricts them from choosing the way to celebrate the New Year. She believes that there are many choices for the Chinese New Year, for example, if the parents are close, go to her parents' house for dinner at noon, go to her mother-in-law's house at night, or take both parents over, and for example, accompany the parents to have a reunion dinner together before the New Year, and go out to travel during the New Year.
We are now in a position to bring the old people on both sides over to celebrate the New Year together, which is actually the way we have always wanted to be. He Jing said. (The name of the interviewee has been changed).
*: China News Network.