In the workplace, in the face of the work pushed to you by your boss or colleagues who have no sense of boundaries, do you scold a hundred times in your heart, and still do it honestly on the surface?
If you are such a personality, then you need to read this book - "Learn to Say No" and be a determined and resolute person.
Learning to Say No is divided into two parts: the first part is to understand steadfastness and courage, detailing the definition of firmness and decisiveness; The second part is put into practice and teaches you how to deal with the excessive demands of others and be brave enough to express your opinions.
First of all, the book divides people into 4 types of people who behave differently:
Firm and resolute: Confident and direct in communicating with others.Secondly, what does a determined and resolute person look like?Aggressive: arrogant, tough-minded, and obstinate.
Passive: Giving way to one's own needs and desires to those of others.
Passive-aggressive: indirect and manipulative communication and behavior.
Determined and resolute people are able to communicate honestly and appropriately with their feelings, opinions, and needs. Able to calmly state their needs, without losing their temper and not afraid of conflict.
Determined and courageous people don't try to prove anything, set boundaries for themselves, and don't think they have to tolerate bullying from others.
Firm and brave people have confidence, and at the same time, they will be responsible for their words and actions. Be able to accept praise and criticism without blaming others.
Firm and courageous people feel that the world is beautiful and that they are as important as others.
Compare the above points to see if you are a determined and resolute person?
Thirdly, what are some reasons why you can't be firm and courageous?
The other person makes you feel confused or scared.The other person may become angry or irritable.
You're not sure what your rights are.
You hesitate.
You don't get any response from the other person.
You lose control.
You're feeling tired or stressed.
You lack self-confidence and security.
You can't think of anything to do about the situation at hand.
How can we learn to say no and become a determined and courageous person?
1.Change begins when you realize the need for change.
2.Set clear goals and make specific changes.
3.Change my behavior and the way I communicate, such as when I can no longer habitually say "yes", or be silent in response to unreasonable requests from others.
4.Identify your skills and strengths, find supportive peers, and boost your confidence.
5.Give and receive praise from others. Praise will have a positive impact on you.
6.Use fluent body language to show your determination, keep your head up, look at each other, speak boldly, speak calmly, and shake hands with a smile.
7.Ask yourself what you really want and what you don't want. Be clear about your inner feelings and be brave enough to speak your mind.
8.Listen and accept the other person's response while defending your position, sticking to what you want, and not compromising.
9.Take the courage to face the situation and accept the outcome calmly.
10.Finally, don't feel guilty and sorry for rejecting others.
This process requires repeated practice, even if you fall back, just keep sticking to it.