In life, everyone will encounter unfair things to a greater or lesser extent, or will encounter some grievances. Even in my day-to-day work, I encounter difficulties from my colleagues. In the face of other people's difficulties, don't mess up, learn the following methods to ensure that you can turn defeat into victory.
Any person who only adheres to the principle of integrity and does not know how to be mellow and flexible will fall into passivity in a complex and changeable situation.
In ancient times, there was such a story: Zhao Congshan was established as King Zhao Yin, and the eunuchs in the palace wanted to embarrass King Zhao Yin, so they ordered Emperor Zhao Yin to set up an altar and let him prepare the required 300 red tables, so that he could make 300 red tables in one day. After receiving the order, Zhao Congshan sent people to various restaurants and teahouses in the capital to buy 300 tables of similar style, wiped the tables clean, pasted them on white paper, sprayed red paint, and the problem was solved.
Only people who are resourceful and flexible can calmly cope with the difficulties of others. When people quarrel because of their stubbornness, and the situation is difficult to ease, we can grasp the common ground while reserving differences, help both sides of the argument to analyze the problem flexibly, make them realize the reasonableness of the other party's point of view, and then stop the pointless argument.
How to express this dissatisfaction and resolve embarrassment has a certain knowledge, especially for some unprincipled issues, it is indeed not easy to be able to express dissatisfaction with the other party without destroying harmonious interpersonal relationships. This requires us to accumulate more experience and experience more things, and only then can we be like a fish in water in the workplace.
The four famous novels "Dream of Red Mansions", I believe many people have read it. Xue Baochai is actually a tolerant person, and he doesn't care about many things. When her sworn enemy Lin Daiyu always makes things difficult for her in front of others, she either doesn't respond, laughs silently, or changes the subject. In short, Lin Daiyu herself was bored in the end, and Xue Baodai finally won all the honors.
If we encounter difficulties on some relatively large occasions, if we cannot deal with them in time, then we can move the topic to other places and divert everyone's attention so as to get out in time, so as not to fall into an extremely embarrassing situation, and not to let ourselves be disappointed from the stage and lose face.
It is also a common way to solve any problem. You have to let the cause and effect come to the surface and find out where the pain points of the problem are, so that you can deal with it purposefully. In this case, don't act blindly and don't face others blindly.
Several aristocratic families in the Qi Kingdom, including the Luan family, the Gao family, the Tian family, and the Bao family, all had the desire to become the "crowned king". The Tian clan and the Bao clan joined forces to attack the Luan clan and the Gao clan, and the two sides were at a stalemate, both hoping that Yan Zi would come forward. However, Yanzi chose to "stay put", which ultimately led to the defeat of Luan and Gao, forcing them to flee to other countries.
After the victory, the Tian family gave some of their property to Yanzi, but Yanzi refused. Eventually, property goes to the public and becomes the wealth of ordinary people. As the saying goes, "When the third party fights, the third party benefits." ”
When a smart person faces a villain who is in difficulty, he will quickly think about what the villain needs and what he gets from himself. By seeing the villain's favorite "points of interest", it triggers disputes between villains, allowing the villains to reveal their true colors and even hurt each other. As a "middleman", you can educate them further and take a step back to save yourself.
Cao Dewang, the king of glass, was driven out of his village when he was young. However, when he had money, he did not retaliate, but placed those who had beaten him in nursing homes and expressed gratitude: "Without a few punches from you, I would not have run out and would not have achieved what I am today." "That's just like you. "This is the state of humanity.
A truly strong person is resilient, intelligent, and can bend and stretch when something happens. Blessings will naturally follow. Those who "do evil" are always carefully planned and unscrupulous, making people want to tear it to shreds. However, we all know that when we go bankrupt, we need to endure it the most, just like the male protagonist in the movie "Greater Shanghai", because he stole the limelight of the local "boss", he had to kneel on a road full of glass shards to express his sincerest apologies. The physical ** is unbearable, but even more tragic is the complete collapse of the psychological defense.
Truly powerful people often choose to "knock their teeth and swallow", learn to deal with people, say things that make people feel good, and make some "confusing" actions. It's not a compromise, it's about worrying about yourself, usually in life, the more you give in, the villain doesn't take you seriously, and feels that you are being bullied and pinched you arbitrarily.
When dealing with the wicked, don't openly tear your face, and you can't back down, so that he treats you as a soft persimmon. When dealing with bad guys, we must find a soft underbelly to fight back, so that they have no chance to turn over. Zeng Guofan understands the principle of "beating snakes and hitting seven inches" when dealing with wicked people, seven inches is the key to fighting snakes, and hitting the key will make the other party unable to turn over.
Generally speaking, people who go deep in the city are also people who are extremely hungry for fame and fortune. For those who like fame and fortune, there is a way, and that is to "kill". What is "killing"?Rather, it made him feel different, lifted higher and higher, and finally died in arrogance. This is the concrete application of "extreme things must be reversed".
I met a person who was the head of a department and a veteran of the workplace. He is meticulous in his work, but he likes to chase fame and fortune. Who is the most unlucky in the face of such a cunning department head? That's the second-in-command of this department. It's easier for the boss, and it's even more difficult for the second, because if you're not careful, the second can also be deposed.
In the workplace, there are colleagues who can be difficult to get along with, their intentions are obvious, you know what they really want to do, and their actions can affect the outcome of the work. At this time, you can report to your superiors, inform your superiors of their "crimes", nip their bad behavior in the bud, and let the leaders see the intentions of these people, kill two birds with one stone, and deter the tiger.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a minister in the State of Qi called "Qingfeng". In order to improve his status, he and another minister, Cui Zhu, hurt the Duke of Qi Zhuang and supported the Duke of Qi Jing. However, in order to destroy Cui's family, Aomine has Cui's sons kill each other. After Qingfeng's conspiracy was exposed, Qi Jinggong drove him away. He fled to the state of Lu, which rejected him and fled to the state of Wu. When King Chu Ling learned about this, he led his troops to attack the state of Wu and captured Qingfeng. Commenting on the incident, politician Lü Buwei said: "Those righteous people are not, they start with each other, believe for a long time, and meet after death. "If it is a meeting of justice, they will trust each other and in the end, they will be closer and their descendants will cooperate with each other.
In social chess, the most difficult people to "deal with" are those who think clearly. If you want to deal with such a person with theory, it is easy to fall into the trap of the other party. But if you just listen to him quietly, it will give him a psychological advantage. Therefore, for this difficult opponent, you should disturb his thinking first, and you can often interrupt the opponent's speech by saying "well, then it makes sense". Sometimes you can also twist your head away, and when the words are interrupted, the other person's thinking will naturally be affected, showing weakness, and giving you a chance to refute.
In the face of people who deliberately make things difficult, we can choose to solve the problem in a positive way, instead of staying on the other party's attacks and provocations, it is better to change the angle and try to find a solution to the problem. We can make reasonable suggestions and solutions, and have a positive and rational discussion. If we can put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we have the potential to find a win-win solution.
There is a sentence in the Tao Te Ching: "Sharp things do not seem to be suitable and cannot be preserved for a long time." "Like a knife that has been opened, the sharpness of the blade is basically temporary, and the sharpened knife gradually dulls over time. This sentence is actually the idea of indisputability emphasized by Taoism. Don't fight with others in order to better protect yourself. Everyone's energy is limited, and if you spend most of your energy dealing with small people, then you don't have enough energy to do more meaningful things. It's worthless to waste time and energy on people who don't deserve it.
Shift your focus to something more productive so that you don't dwell on negative emotions or get distracted by others. The real winners are those who are able to focus on their goals without outside distractions. In this world, there will always be sunshine and shadows, and we can't lose faith in this world because we have met little people. On the contrary, we should cherish the beauty around us more and use kindness and love to influence those lost souls.
All in all, the world is like a game of chess, where the wise are the "chess players" and the fools are the "chess pieces". If we want to win in the "chess game", we must constantly "replay" the "experience" of others from our own perspective.