It s okay if you don t forgive written by Piete Walker is a classic masterpiece of psychological

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-02-07

Editor's Choice

Trauma healing master Pete Walker is a classic.

It has been translated into more than 40 languages and sold more than 500,000 copies worldwide.

The healing Bible is revered by hundreds of thousands of readers around the world.

Ma Hong, Tong Jun, Suspension Laboratory, Koala Xiaowu, Qingliu, moved to recommend.

It tops the best-selling list in the field of CPTSD in the United States.

Comprehensive classification and explanation, directly point out the psychological trauma that is easy to be ignored.

Provide effective, feasible anxiety and stress relief.

Healing approaches at all levels to help you recover from trauma.

A textbook-level work that deserves to be read again and again.

Use high-quality paper and ring to protect your eyes.

Introduction

Traumatic events include not only occasional and severe irritating events (such as war, natural disasters, and terrorist events), but also humiliation, belittling, bullying, betrayal, emotional neglect, and excessive control during the growth process. These injuries may be difficult for you to talk about, but they can be far more traumatic than a single event.

Because too many people ignore the trauma in the process of growing up, they "inexplicably" produce interpersonal relationship disorders, emotional pain, and even are misdiagnosed as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, anxiety disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, ......

The author of this book, Pete Walker, is an internationally renowned master of wound healing. He has suffered from severe complex post-traumatic stress syndrome (CPTSD), and he has written this classic based on his own healing experience and more than 30 years of experience as a psychologist. In the book, he provides an in-depth analysis of the causes, symptoms, and types of CPTSD, and provides effective self-healing tools to help readers break the vicious cycle of emotions, minds, and bodies. This complete and systematic diversification** makes it easier for readers to see their own conditions, break through blind spots, and make healing progress.

This book has been highly regarded by trauma sufferers and has been used as a valuable tool by psychologists.

Not all injuries should be forgiven.

Get out of bondage, **trauma, you've been hurt, but you don't have to hurt anymore.

About the Author

Pete Walker.

He is a senior psychologist in the United States, a certified supervisor of the American Marriage and Family Association and the Berkeley Institute of Psychology, with a double degree in psychology and social work, and has been engaged in psychological counseling and counseling, teaching, and writing for more than 30 years, and has served as a teacher supervisor for more than 20 years. CPTSD is one of the areas he excels at.

Yan Feifei (Translation).

He graduated from the Department of Chinese at Peking University in 2011 with a double bachelor's degree in Chinese literature and history. He received his master's degree in East Asian Studies from Stanford University. After graduating with a master's degree, he settled in California, USA, and worked in localization translation and management at a Silicon Valley technology company.

Table of Contents

Part 1: Overview of Healing.

Chapter 1 CPTSD's Healing Journey 3

The main symptom of CPTSD is 5

Other symptoms of CPTSD 10

Causes of CPTSD 12

4f reactions: fight, flight, stalemate, curry favor 16

CHAPTER II. Aspects of ** 24

Key developmental stagnation in CPTSD 25

Cognitive Healing 28

Emotional Healing 33

Spiritual Healing 42

Body Healing 46

Chapter 3 Improving Relations 54

Advance Warning 54

CPTSD is an attachment disorder 55

Finding Relational Help Good Enough 59

When their own parents 63

Chapter IV: The Process of Healing 73

Stage 73 of healing

* Signs of 77

From surviving to thriving 80

An unexamined life is not worth living" 87

Part 2 Details of Healing.

Chapter 5 What if I hadn't been beaten? 95

Denial and "miniaturization" 95

Emotional Hunger & Addiction 100

Stop the "miniaturization" of emotional abandonment 105

Chapter 6 What Type of Trauma I Belong to 111

Use 4F reaction 111 appropriately

CPTSD 114 as an attachment disorder

Battle type and narcissistic defense 115

Escape and Compulsive Defense 120

Zombie and dissociative defenses 124

Pleasing Type and Relational Dependent Defense 128

Mixed Trauma Type 130

Self-assessment with **134

Chapter VII From Trauma-Based Relational Dependence** 136

Compare the causes of the flattering type with the causes of the fight, flight, and stalemate types 137

Trauma-Based Relationship Dependence Disorder 139

Relationally dependent subtype 141

Pleaser-Zombie Type: Scapegoat 141

Flatter-Escape Type: Super** 143

Pleaser-Fight Type: Suffocating Mother (Father) 144

It's okay if you don't agree with me" 151

Part 3 Methods of Healing.

Chapter 8 Managing Emotional Flashbacks 155

13 Practical Steps to Manage Emotional Flashbacks 156

Triggers and Emotional Flashbacks 158

Signs of flashbacks 163

Flashbacks are a distress signal for the inner child 169

Make use of Flashback Management Step 171

Chapter 9: Reducing the Inner Critic 177

The Causes of the Inner Critic 177

Dealing with 14 Common Attacks from the Inner Critic 179

Flashbacks triggered by the inner critic 184

Perspective replaces 196

Neuroplasticity of the Brain 199

Chapter 10: Reducing the External Critic 201

The External Critic: The Enemy of Relationships 201

The Extrinsic Critic and Passive Aggression 204

Refusal to speak up for the views of the critics 205

Outward Critics: Judges, Juries, and Executioners 216

Looking for the scapegoat 217

Mindfulness and the Curtailment of the Outer Critic 218

Mourning can block the outward critic 220

Healthy venting through external critics 222

CHAPTER XI MOURNING 226

Mourning expands insight and understanding 226

Four Ways of Mourning 233

Anger: Alleviating Shame and Fear 233

Crying: An Effective Way to Channel Emotions 236

Verbal Catharsis: The Path to Intimacy 241

Thinking and Feeling in Sync 243

Feelings: Passively dissolving grief 248

The Emotional and Physical Connection 250

Learning Feelings 251

Chapter 12 A Map for Managing Abandonment Depression 256

Reaction Cycle 256

Parental abandonment creates self-abandonment 260

Breaking the Self-Abandonment 261

Hunger is depression in disguise 266

Pseudocyclothymic disorder 267

Distinguish between necessary and unnecessary suffering 269

Healing is gradual 269

Tackle Flashback 270 with a full range of healing work

Chapter 13 Abandonment of Trauma through Relationships 275

Relational dimensions of psychological ** 275

Relational type ** 276 in cptsd

Empathy 279

Showing Vulnerability with Sincerity: "Authentic Relationships Make Healthy Relationships" 280

*Sexual Emotional Expressions 281

Guidelines for Self-Disclosure 283

Satisfying Healthy Narcissistic Needs 285

Conversational vs. 4F Reaction Type 288

Repair of Cooperative Relationships 290

From Abandonment to Intimacy: A Case Study 293

Secure Attachment Won 295

Saving the Patient from the Inner Critic 296

Look for Division 298

Find an online or offline support group 299

Mutual Aid Counseling 300

Chapter 14: Forgiveness: Start with Yourself? 303

True Forgiveness 304

Forgiveness is a feeling of love 306

Chapter 15 Reading and the Book Community 309

Recommended reading 311

CHAPTER XVI. Self-Help Tools 314

Toolbox No. 1: Intent Recommendation 317

Toolbox No. 2: Guiding Principles of Equity and Intimacy 318

Toolbox No. 3: Advice 319 for internal counter-attacks against common attacks by internal critics

Toolbox No. 4: Resolving Conflict with Love 324

With regard to "suspension" (Article 15) 326

On empathy (art. 327).

Toolbox No. 5: Thanksgiving 328

Be grateful to yourself 328

Be grateful to others 331

Toolbox No. 6: CPTSD Healing Fundamentals 335

Acknowledgments 338

Ref. 339

**Comments

When I read this book, I felt like I was at work, and the vivid cases in the book made me feel as if I saw the patients who came to me for help. Whenever I encounter a case of complex post-traumatic stress syndrome in the outpatient clinic, I think of "parents are really a 'three no' position with no training, no continuing education, and no supervision". I highly recommend that parents who are concerned about their children's physical and mental health choose this easy-to-understand professional book when seeking parenting guidance, so that their children do not grow up to forgive you. ——Ma Hong, Chief Physician and Professor, Peking University Sixth Hospital.

Each of us has gaps, and this book can be a good guide to the various self-help methods presented to help the general public. Needless to say, it is also a good reference book for practitioners. ——Tong Jun, Chief Physician, Professor, Ph.D. Supervisor of the Mental Health Center Affiliated to Tongji Medical College, Huazhong University of Science and Technology, and the first chairman of the China Group of the International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA).

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) is a cutting-edge research topic in the field of psychology. This book introduces this concept to the public eye for the first time, giving us a new understanding of the painful experiences that happen to us. The author introduces CPTSD from the perspective of childhood trauma in plain language. And for its different symptoms, specific and practical action suggestions are given. I hope this self-help book can help you slowly get out of the trauma in need. — Suspend the lab.

I am extremely happy to see the Chinese translation of this classic masterpiece. I believe this book can help countless people who have experienced and are experiencing emotional trauma. I recommend this book without reservation, and hope that it can teach more people how to heal their inner pain and get out of the haze of emotional trauma as soon as possible. —Koala Xiaowu, a senior psychological counselor with 20,000 hours of clinical practice, and author of million-dollar bestsellers such as "Actually You're Fine".

This book comprehensively introduces the healing process and methods of complex psychological trauma, objectively shows the value and significance of a variety of different healing methods, as well as their respective necessity and limitations, and also provides specific and feasible trauma intervention and self-help methods from multiple perspectives. —Qingliu, Registered Psychologist, Clinical Supervisor, Zhihu Big V

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