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Everyone has had the experience of being in contact with their parents for a long time, feeling extremely irritable, and even if their words and actions seem to be blameless, they can cause all kinds of uneasiness and anxiety in our hearts. It is a psychological reaction that originates in our subconscious. This is not to say that we hate our parents or that we are not patient or have a bad temper, but it has to do with our life experiences as children.
When we were children, some parents may often suppress us, find fault with us, belittle us, or even treat us violently. These irreversible pains accumulate over a long period of time in our young minds, forming a deep resentment. However, when we grow up and return to our parents, even their ordinary words will touch this massive amount of emotions hidden in our hearts.
That's why, even if we are tired of our parents' feudal concepts, every time we see them working hard and conscientious, our hearts will always be filled with pity. When we see their sad appearance, we all feel deep guilt in our hearts. This inner contradiction makes us tired of coping, hoping that we can resolve this contradiction through the appropriate distance and find a new relationship between parents and children.
The way we can do this is that every time we might have an argument with our parents, we can tell ourselves that it is not an adult and a parent's quarrel, but a quarrel between two children. Because many parents stop growing up after a certain age, they stay in the past and become a kind of "children who have not grown up" bound by the times. And we, as growing children, need to understand and accept them, while also trying to maintain our own independence.
Our parents, those who have worked so hard to support our growth, will always be grateful to us. The conflict between us is not the indifference of family affection, but the difference in living habits and concepts. What we are arguing about is only the projection of the environment and the times on us, not the conflict of malice. Letting go of right and wrong and accepting differences is the beginning of true understanding and acceptance.
However, this does not mean that we have to meet all the requirements of our parents. We should still maintain our independence and avoid self-harm for behavior that is clearly wrong and unwilling to change. When there is a tendency to argue, stop in time and stay calm. When you encounter moments where you can't communicate, recognize that it's a normal thing and use this to accept that you are different from your parents.
Finally, we need to remember that we are an independent person and that our self-confidence comes from ourselves, not from our parents. We are the children of our parents, but we are more of an independent person. All our conflicts and troubles are not the distance between us and our parents, but our inner waiting and pursuit of self-identity.
What we need is to be independent at all times and to face the relationship with our parents with a more mature mindset, which is a problem that adults must face and solve. Every conflict, every pursuit, is a proof that we live with our hearts, and it is also real, in the relationship with our parents, we feel the existence of ourselves.