are you afraid of getting stuck in english?
Are you afraid of getting stuck in English?
would you like to learn some strategies and tips on how to overcome situations where you get stuck or feel frustrated because you can't express yourself?
Are you willing to learn some strategies and techniques for coping with getting stuck or frustrated while expressing?
if the answer is yes, then this video is for you.
If the answer is yes, then this ** is for you.
hi, my name is hadar.
Hi, I'm Hadar.
i'm a non-native speaker of english, and i am here to help you speak english with clarity, confidence, and freedom.
My native language is not English, and I am here to help you speak English clearly, confidently, and freely.
the idea for this video came about after i went live on instagram and i asked my followers, what was their biggest fear when it comes to communicating in english.
The inspiration for making this was when I asked my followers what their biggest fear was when communicating in English while I was live on Instagram.
and 80 percent of the people responded 'getting stuck when speaking'.
80% answered "stuck while talking".
for some people, they actually use the words 'getting stuck', others just said 'not finding the right words'.
For some, they actually use the word "getting stuck", others just say "not finding the right words".
and ultimately that fear of not being able to say what you want to say, and that crippling feeling of silence that triggers a lot of people and makes them feel so afraid to communicate.
Eventually, this fear of not being able to express one's thoughts, as well as the inhibition of silence, triggers many people and makes them afraid to communicate.
so, in this video, i'm going to talk about why this is so scary, so we can understand the way we think and maybe overcome this fear, not by improving our english, but simply by improving the way we think about it.
So in this **, I'm going to talk about why this is so scary so that we can understand our way of thinking and maybe be able to overcome that fear, not by improving our English, but by improving the way we think about it.
but then i'm going to give you some strategies on how to come out of a situation where you get stuck: what words to use, what phrases to say, and some strategies on how to start over so you can actually say what you want to say confidently.
Then I'll give you some strategies on how to get out of a stuck situation: what words to use, what phrases to say, and some strategies for starting over so that you can confidently express what you want to say.
now, i know that when you want to say something and your brain goes blank, it is really scary.
I know it's really scary when you want to say something and your brain goes blank.
i remember once when i was in acting school, i had a show and i was singing in front of everyone.
I remember one time when I was in acting school, I had a show where I was going to sing in front of everybody.
and this was a song from a musical that i absolutely loved.
This is a song from the ** play that I like very much.
and i practiced it a lot, and of course i knew all the words by heart.
I practiced a lot and even memorized all the words.
but then when i stood in front of everyone, i sang the first verse and then i got to the verse that i loved the most, like it was so profound to me, and i forgot all the words.
But when I stood in front of everyone, I sang the first verse, and then it came to my favorite verse, like it was so deep for me, that I forgot all the lyrics as a result.
and the music kept playing.
*All the time**.
and my teacher, who was accompanying me, and she was playing the piano, she started singing for me, but i was already so stressed out that it didn't help.
My teacher, who played the piano with me, started singing for me, but I was already under a lot of pressure, and it didn't help.
i don't even remember how i came out of this entire situation, i just remember staring at people, singing a few more words, and then le**ing the stage without looking at anyone.
I don't even remember how I got out of this whole situation, I just remember staring at the people, singing a few more words, and leaving the stage without looking at anyone.
and i was so upset.
I was frustrated. and that's not the only time it actually happened to me.
This isn't the only time I've encountered this situation.
and it also happened to me in lives and in conversations.
This also happens in my life and conversations.
so i know how it feels.
So I know what it's like.
but, i also want you to know that it's a natural part of speaking a second language.
However, I also want you to know that speaking a second language is natural.
it's a natural part of speaking any language, your first language as well.
It's a natural part of speaking any language, and so is your native language.
you might black out at any given moment if you lose your train of thought, or if you're overwhelmed, or if you're not focused, especially when it's not your first language.
If you wander, feel overwhelmed, or have trouble concentrating, especially when it's not your first language, you may lose your train of thought at any moment.
so don't feel bad when it happens.
So don't feel bad when it happens.
understand that it's a natural part of the language, and the more you practice, the more you speak, the less it will happen.
Understand that this is a natural part of the language, and the more you practice and the more you speak, the less it happens.
but let's talk about why it triggers you so much, why it is so frightening.
But let's talk about why it touches you so much and why it's so scary.
first, because it's really frustrating to want to say something and not being able to say it, right?
First of all, it's really frustrating to want to say something but not be able to say it, right?
it's like, we are creatures who like to communicate, and if we want to say something and we can't, we feel limited, we feel like we don't h**e the tools that we h**e in our first language, and it's really, really frustrating.
We're communicative creatures, and if we want to say something and can't, we feel limited and feel as if the tools we have in our first language no longer exist, which is really, really frustrating.
and sometimes it can create anger and sadness even.
Sometimes it can even cause anger and sadness.
so, wanting to say something and not h**ing the tools to say it could be really, really frustrating.
So trying to express something without having the tools to do so can be really frustrating.
so that's the first thing.
That's the first point.
the second thing is that sometimes if we get stuck, we start thinking about what people think about us, right?
The second thing is, sometimes if we're stuck, we start thinking about what people think of us, right?
what is their opinion about us and our english?
What do they think about us and our English?
and we get into the loop of not feeling good enough: "oh, they're thinking that i don't know english.
We get stuck in a cycle of feeling bad enough: "Oh, they think I don't know English.
they're thinking that i can't communicate." and that creates more stress and anxiety because it really focuses on this fear that most of us experience of not being good enough, right, or being judged.
They thought I couldn't communicate. "This can lead to more stress and anxiety as most of us have experienced this fear of being judged.
and we don't want to experience that because that triggers shame and humiliation, which are two emotions that us humans try to **oid as much as humanly possible.
We don't want to go through this because it triggers shame and humiliation, two emotions that we humans avoid as much as possible.
we don't want to experience that.
We don't want to go through those.
therefore, we don't want to get stuck because we know that it might trigger these feelings.
So we don't want to get bogged down because we know it might trigger these feelings.
even though again, it is perfectly okay to get stuck.
Even so, it's perfectly okay to be "stuck" in speech.
and usually, people won't even think bad things about you because you get stuck, they might not even notice it.
Often, people don't even think badly about you because you're stuck, and they may not even notice.
now, the third fear, and this is not a common fear, and i want you to think about it and to see maybe it actually hits home, is we don't wanna waste people's time.
The third fear, which is not a common fear, and I want you to think about it and see if it actually touches your heart, is that we don't want to waste other people's time.
especially when we speak to people whom we need something from, if we get stuck, we feel like we're wasting their time.
Especially when we're talking to someone we need help with, and if we're stuck in a rut, we feel like we're wasting their time.
we say to ourselves things like, "oh, they're going to get impatient.
We say to ourselves, "They're going to get impatient."
they're not going to want to talk to me.
They won't want to talk to me.
you know, it's not fair for them that they need to wait for me." and i understand that it's coming from a place of wanting the other person to feel good, but it's not helping you, right?
You know, it's not fair to them to let them wait for me. "I understand that you say this to make the other person feel good, but that doesn't help you, right?
so feeling like you're wasting someone's time can immediately impact how you perform in english, and that fear could create a bigger fear around getting stuck.
As a result, feeling like you're wasting someone else's time can immediately affect your performance in English, and this fear can lead to a greater sense of fear that can make you stuck.
and i want to tell you that if this is a thought that you're thinking, a hundred percent that it's compromising your ability to communicate freely and confidently.
I want to tell you that if this is one of your thoughts, it will 100% affect your ability to communicate freely and confidently.
all the things i talked about right now are limiting beliefs, beliefs that limit your full potential, limit your ability to communicate confidently and fluently.
All of the things I've just talked about are limiting beliefs that limit your full potential and your ability to communicate confidently and fluently.
and the good thing about a limiting belief is that it's a thought, and you can change thoughts, it's not a fact, it's not a reality.
The good thing about limiting beliefs is that it's just a mind, and you can change the mind, it's not a fact, it's not a reality.
the tricky thing about limiting beliefs is that you think it's just you just interpreting the world around you.
The tricky part about limiting beliefs is your interpretation of the world around you.
this is your reality.
That's your reality.
oh, i'm wasting someone's time." but it's not a fact, it's a belief.
Oh, I'm wasting someone's time. "But that's not the truth, it's what you think.
and as such, you can decide not to think it anymore.
Therefore, you can decide not to think about it anymore.
you can change it to "people want to hear what i h**e to say. they are patient with me.
You can change it to "People want to hear what I have to say, and they're patient with me."
they appreciate my attempt to communicate with them" – instead of, "i'm wasting their time, they're going to think i'm stupid, they're going to think i don't know how to speak in english." okay?
They thank me for trying to communicate with them" – not "I'm wasting their time, they'll think I'm stupid, they'll think I don't know how to speak in English." "All right?
so, try to understand which one of the three things that i've listed are things that you are thinking that make this fear of getting stuck a lot bigger than it should be.
So, try to understand which of the three things I've listed is something you're thinking about, so that this fear of getting stuck is much bigger than it should be.
and of course, if you can come up with other limiting thoughts, then write them in the comments below and share them with us.
Of course, if you can come up with other restrictive ideas, then write them in the comments below and share them with us.
okay.All right?
so now that we talked about the reasons why this is such a big fear, let's talk about what to do when you get stuck.
Now that we've discussed why this is so scary, let's talk about what to do when you get stuck.
when you get stuck, the first thing that you need to do is remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
The first thing you need to do when you get stuck is to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
the more you get stressed out in a situation, the less likely you are to come out smoothly from this situation.
In a stressful situation, the more stressed you are, the less likely you are to get out of the situation smoothly.
remind yourself that this is not your speech at the oscars, or this is not your biggest interview, and it's okay to get stuck.
Remind yourself that this isn't your speech at the Oscars, and it's not your all-important interview, and it's okay to get stuck.
give yourself permission to get stuck, because when you are not stressed, when your blood pressure is lower, you're more likely to come up with a next word.
Give yourself permission to allow yourself to get stuck, because when you don't feel nervous, when your blood pressure is low, you're more likely to think of the next word.
you're more likely to continue, as if nothing happened.
You're more likely to continue as if nothing had happened.
but when you get stressed out, you start thinking about it: "oh, i'm stuck.
But when you're overstressed, you start thinking, "Oh, I'm stuck.
oh, they're going to think this, they're going to think that." and then your brain is so busy with the event of being stuck, then with what you actually want to say, right?
They'll think so, they'll think that. "And then your brain gets occupied by events that are stuck instead of what you're actually trying to express, right?
what is the word that i'm looking for?
What word am I looking for?
so, take a deep breath, remind yourself it's okay to get stuck, and continue.
So, take a deep breath, remind yourself that it's okay to get stuck, and move on.
and then, what i recommend for you to do is this: first, you can just acknowledge it by saying, "oh, i lost my train of thought", or "i think i'm confusing this, let me start over", or "let me rephrase it".
Then, I suggest you do this: First, you can admit it by saying, "I'm distracted," or "I think I'm confused, let me start over," or "Let me rephrase that."
and then you want to start over from the beginning of the idea or the beginning of the sentence.
Then you want to start over from the beginning of the idea or the beginning of the sentence.
your brain will find a way to bypass the part where you got stuck and get to the end of the idea.
Your brain will find a way to bypass the part you're stuck in and reach the end of the thought.
remember that you h**e a lot of words to use.
Remember that you have a lot of words to work with.
don't focus on that one word you can't remember and feel like, "oh, now i won't be able to say this".
Don't focus on that word you don't remember and feel like "I can't say this now".
you can find a word that is similar, you can find an entire sentence that explains it differently.
You can find a similar word, and you can find a different sentence to explain it.
you know how many times in the middle of a live or a video that i'm recording, i can't find a certain word that i'm thinking about or that i want to say, and then i end up saying something slightly differently.
You know how many times when I've been live streaming or recording** when I can't find a certain word I want to say and then end up saying something slightly different.
sometimes it's not as good as it could be.
Sometimes it doesn't work as expected.
sometimes it actually takes me to a better place.
Sometimes I express it better.
so you never know, you just h**e to go with the flow.
So you never know, you just have to go with the flow.
just like you're going on a tour and sometimes you want to make a right, and sometimes you will make a left, you'll end up getting to the same destination.
It's like you're going on a trip, sometimes you want to turn right, sometimes you turn left, and you'll end up at the same destination.
but if you find yourself on this path where you h**e two roads and you don't know what to do, if you just stay there and get stuck, nothing good is going to come out of it, you're not going to get to your destination.
But if you find yourself on this road with two forks in the road and don't know what to do, if you stop there and get stuck, there will be no good results and you will not reach your destination.
so just find another way.
Let's find another way.
and one of the best ways to do that is to start over.
One of the best ways to do this is to start over.
if you can't think of a specific word, let go.
If you can't think of a specific word, let it go.
practice letting go of a thought or an idea or an entire sentence, and either start over, use a different word, or just say something completely different.
Practice letting go of an idea, opinion, or entire sentence and either starting over, using a different word, or saying something completely different.
it's going to make things a lot lighter and also make you feel a lot more confident when speaking.
It will make things a lot easier and it will also make you feel more confident when you speak.
and the most important thing, don't try to hide it.
Most importantly, don't try to hide it.
you speak english as a second language.
You speak English as a second language.
you are entitled to make mistakes and to get stuck.
You have the right to make mistakes and get bogged down.
so, sometimes just saying, "oh, i'm totally stuck right now".
So, sometimes it's just saying, "Oh, I'm completely stuck right now."
and even asking for help is the best strategy ever, and also an opportunity to learn.
Even asking for help is a good strategy and an opportunity to learn.
so, don't make a big deal out of it, don't make it more than what it is, and just understand that it's a natural part of the learning process.
So, don't take it too seriously, don't take it too seriously, just understand that it's a natural part of the learning process.
all right.
All right. so now i h**e a question for you.
Now, I have a question for you.
what do you do when you get stuck?
What do you do when you get stuck?
let us know in the comments and let's start a conversation and share our knowledge with everyone, with the entire community, because that's when the best ideas appear.
Tell us in the comments, let's start a conversation and share our knowledge with everyone, with the community as a whole, because that's when the best ideas come along.
all right.
All right. i hope you enjoyed it.
I hope you enjoyed this issue**.
if you did, consider subscribing to my channel and sharing it with people you think might need it.
If you like, consider subscribing to my channel and sharing it with someone you think might be needed.
you can also check out my website at hadarshemesh. com where i h**e a ton of free resources for you to be able to speak english, practice english, and feel confident, clear and free when speaking.
You can also visit my **hadarshemeshcom, there are tons of free resources for you to practice your English, improve your spoken English, and feel confident, clear, and free when speaking English.
h**e a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day.
I wish you a happy rest today.
and i will see you next week in the next video.
We'll see you next week.
bye.Good bye.