Story**: The lives of the people around me Since I got married, I was reluctant to spend the New Year at my mother-in-law's house, which made my husband very angry, saying that I was too sensitive and did not know how to conform to local customs.
Fortunately, my family is a two-woman household, and my parents only have two daughters, my sister and me.
On the day of the wedding, I discussed with my in-laws that we would take turns to celebrate the New Year at our own house and at my in-laws' house.
For me, the daughter who married out was not completely detached from the family.
My father-in-law didn't express an opinion, and my mother-in-law, although unhappy on her face, finally accepted my decision.
They also have a son and a daughter, and even if we don't accompany them, there will be someone to take care of them.
As a result, after spending a Spring Festival at my house, my husband also fell in love with the New Year customs in our hometown.
Every time he went back to his parents' house for the New Year, he packed his luggage faster than me.
The mother-in-law scolded him and said that he had forgotten his mother when he married his daughter-in-law.
He smirked and said to me, it's better to go to my mother's house for the New Year.
I couldn't agree more.
I would like to state that my mother's home is Linyi, Shandong, and my mother-in-law's family is in the countryside of Weifang, Shandong, and the two places are separated by more than 200 kilometers.
My husband and I are in free love, and our house was bought in Weifang City.
As the saying goes, ten miles are not the same, and we are separated by more than 200 kilometers, and the customs and habits are completely different.
My mother's house is located in a small mountain village in the Yimeng Mountains, and there is a nursery rhyme that sings like this: Twenty-three, dipping sugar melons;Twenty-four, sweep the room;Twenty-five, make tofu;Twenty-six, stewed pork;Twenty-seven, slaughtering chickens;Twenty-eighth, the face;Twenty-nine, steamed steamed buns;Chinese New Year's Eve, stay up for a night, Chinese New Year's Eve dumplings have ...... every yearThis is a custom that has been handed down in our family, not to mention anything else, the New Year's flavor is very strong.
Of course, we don't go home so early, every year we don't go back until after the 28th of the lunar month, as long as we can eat.
The parents had everything in order, and we just had to go back and enjoy their hospitality.
After breakfast on the Chinese New Year's Eve, the whole family began to get busy.
Everyone chooses dishes, cuts meat, and sticks Spring Festival couplets, and everyone is very busy.
Between three and four o'clock in the afternoon, a table of sumptuous dishes fills the fragrant table, waiting for us to taste.
Chicken is an essential food that symbolizes good luck and good luck.
My dad likes to make chicken and mushroom stews, using home-fed roosters and mountain mushrooms picked from the pine forest in the summer.
We must also have a piece of fish that represents good fortune.
Shimizu meatballs are also an indispensable dish, symbolizing a full year.
In addition, other dishes can be played according to personal preference.
After the reunion dinner, the men and children went out to play, while the women were busy chopping stuffed dumplings.
At midnight, we make a toast to heaven and earth to express our respect for heaven and earth.
Dumplings are often filled with cabbage and tofu, and we eat them after worshipping the gods.
There is a saying that eating leftovers from the gods, that is, dumplings are leftovers eaten by the gods, and we mortals can get the blessings of the gods if they eat them.
Eating vegetarian dumplings on the first day of the Lunar New Year means that the new year will be calm and carefree.
Eating meat-filled dumplings in the afternoon means that the new year will be smooth sailing.
Eating dumplings also symbolizes reunion and health, which is a traditional blessing for the Chinese.
We only need New Year's greetings on our side, and we don't need to kowtow.
First greet the elders and say a few auspicious words to please the elderly.
Throughout the Chinese New Year, we ate and had fun, and we were relaxed.
However, in the in-law's house, the atmosphere is not so good.
The in-laws do not have the sense of ritual of Chinese New Year's Eve, except for sticking the Spring Festival, eating and drinking is no different from usual.
The Chinese New Year's Eve dinner is scheduled after 12 o'clock at midnight, and although the dishes are sumptuous, you can imagine that everyone is most sleepy at that time, even if it is a mountain and sea delicacies, there is no appetite for food.
And on the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, I don't eat dumplings, heat up the leftovers to fool my stomach, and then go out with the old people in the family to pay New Year's greetings.
Start with the eldest generation, and even some people who like to be lively, if they can't make a sound during the New Year's greetings, it doesn't count.
In the first year of marriage, my mother-in-law wanted to take me out to pay New Year's greetings, but my husband stopped me.
He told my mother-in-law that there was no such custom in our hometown and was worried that I would not be used to it.
My mother-in-law said that since I had married to them, I had to learn to follow the customs.
I was very principled and told her that I would not bow down except to my parents and ancestors.
The mother-in-law said that it was good to get used to it.
At that time, I was glad that my husband had always been on my side, and I hid at home all day on the first day of the new year and did not go out to kowtow to them.
The husband said that he didn't like these customs either, but he couldn't change them, and if he didn't kowtow, he would be considered unruly: "It's better for you to be there, you can sleep until you wake up naturally on the morning of the first day of the new year, no one is chattering or urging, that's the way I want to celebrate the New Year......"Later, when I had children, I gradually accepted the customs of their side, and every time I celebrated the New Year here, I would take my children to pay New Year's greetings to my elders.
It's just that I still won't kowtow to them.
With the development of society, more and more young people who work in other places do not kowtow, and most of these young people are daughters-in-law from other places.
The old people have also gradually accepted this change.
However, when the child was a child, he reluctantly accepted this habit at the request of his grandparents.
When he was a little older, he also liked the way of his grandmother's house for the New Year, and when he arrived at the New Year, he happily asked whether to go to his grandmother's house or to his grandmother's house.
We have spent twenty years like this.
In November last year, my mother-in-law died of illness.
Originally, it was our turn to go to my parents' house during the Spring Festival this year, but my mother called ** and said that my mother-in-law passed away, and my father-in-law was alone, although I was accompanied by my brother-in-law, I still felt lonely: "There is your sister's family at home, don't come back, accompany your father-in-law at home......."”
When we went home, my brother-in-law's family had not yet returned, and my father-in-law was alone and did not make any preparations.
Truth be told, this indescribable sense of desolation hangs over us.
So, we went to the supermarket in town to buy chicken, fish and seafood, and prepared a full range of Chinese New Year food.
I told my husband that after my mother left, I would take on the role of a chef, and I wanted to change the family's New Year's customs to be the same as my mother's family.
The husband agreed, and the son had no objection.
The son said, "Grandma is gone, Mom, have you become the king of monkeys?"It doesn't sound good, but it does feel like it.
Despite my father-in-law's objections, I made a sumptuous meal in the afternoon.
There are chickens, fish, and meat.
The brother-in-law's family were stunned when they entered the door, and the two nieces even asked, is the sun rising in the west?Isn't Grandpa against it?Whoever is the chef has the final say, and grandpa's opposition is ...... to no effectFaced with this table of food, my father-in-law also made an exception to have a drink.
When the wine glasses touched, the father-in-law's eyes were red: "Tomorrow, you don't have to get up early, you can sleep until what time you want."
Customs are set by people, and if you don't like them, you can change them.
We have been bound long enough in this life that you can no longer be constrained by these rules.
In life, happiness is the most important ......”