Hello everyone, I'm Mu Muxue!
In our daily lives, we will meet some girls who are always easily swayed by others and unable to stand firm in their positions and principles.
Such a woman lives a very tired life, is very twisted, and is easy to be easily pinched and bullied.
On the contrary, there are also some girls who are independent, confident, assertive, and will not be influenced by others, and are not easily manipulated, which is enviable.
They seem to have a special charm that is irresistible.
When you are close to them, you will unconsciously respect them and appreciate them.
I think many girls want to be a girl who is not manipulated at will, does not compromise and is not pretentious, only follows her own heart, and makes herself comfortable.
Through observation and thinking, I found that these girls who are not taken care of have some commonalities.
Mentally and financially independent, self-confident;
Maugham once said:
"Your economy determines your right to speak, and it's the same with any relationship. ”Girls who are not taken care of by others, they all have a common characteristic, that is, they are financially independent, do not need to rely on others, and can support themselves.
They are free to choose the way they want to live without having to compromise their principles for money.
Financial independence gives them the confidence not to lose themselves because of other people's charity or **.
Such a girl is able to maintain confidence and independence when interacting with others, and will not waver in her position because of the words or actions of others.
Most financially independent girls have their own careers, and they can give themselves a sense of security.
I won't compromise myself for money to do things I don't like to do, or to be with people I don't like.
One of my daughters is a financially independent girl who has her own stable job in the county.
A few years ago, I talked about a partner who was about to get married, and the man's family conditions were very good, thinking that I was from the countryside and was easy to bully.
The bride price was negotiated, but when it came to marriage, the hexagram was changed, and the bride price was halved. The man felt that her family conditions were not very good anyway, and she would definitely have to rely on him in the future, thinking that she should be able to endure and accept.
But after I saw the man's true face, I didn't hesitate to cancel the wedding.
I think there may be a lot of girls who will endure such things in order to marry into a family with better conditions.
But as everyone knows, if you endure it, this may just be the beginning of being manipulated.
Fortunately, I have my own confidence and decisively refuse to be manipulated.
Therefore, girls must be financially independent and can support themselves, because financial independence can help us resist many people and things we don't like.
Do not cater to others, do not consume yourself;
Girls who are not easy to be manipulated will not change themselves in order to please others.
They know exactly who they are and what they want, and they don't waver because of what others think.
They don't care too much about other people's evaluations, and they don't waste time and energy trying to figure out what others think.
Dong Yuhui once said:
"Don't use your short life to please others and cater to others, the meaning of life is to please yourself. ”Girls who are not pinched know how to maintain themselves and adhere to their own principles and values.
When interacting with others, they will maintain their independent thinking and judgment, and will not be swayed by the opinions of others.
This kind of self-confidence and firmness makes them unique in the crowd and an irreplaceable existence.
When I was at work before, I met a colleague who felt that she was very cold when I first met her, and I didn't participate much in the company's small group chat.
But the company's leaders still respect her, and she is like an indispensable existence.
After working with her for a long time, I realized that she is a person who does not like to pander to others, and does not get bogged down in the company's interpersonal friction. She is her strength in her work and earns the respect of others.
And it is precisely such people who can go further.
Able to be well alone with themselves;
There are some girls in life who always like to be accompanied by someone and want someone to be with them in everything.
As everyone knows, we spend the most time alone, and what we need most is the ability to learn to be alone with ourselves.
Girls who are not pinched by others are able to be alone with themselves well, they do not feel lonely or empty, but enjoy their time alone, and enrich their inner world by reading, writing, thinking, etc.
When interacting with others, they are able to better understand themselves and others, leading to a better grasp of interpersonal relationships.
They will use their alone time to improve themselves, think about life, and plan for the future.
They do not feel lonely because they are not accompanied, but can enjoy the peace and freedom that loneliness brings.
Of course, people are social creatures, and it is normal to need a certain amount of socialization.
But most of the time, I still like to be alone and enjoy the freedom and joy of being alone.
Value your feelings and love yourself;
Girls who are not pinched by others, they know how to take care of their emotions, and they will not wronged themselves and ignore their feelings in order to cater to others.
When interacting with others, they make decisions based on their own wishes and feelings, rather than being swayed by other people's expectations.
They make choices based on their moods and needs, rather than going against their will in order to please others.
They also do not impose their feelings on others, and respect the choices and feelings of others.
This self-awareness and autonomy makes them more authentic and honest people, as well as more desirable.
Don't be a bad person, dare to refuse, and have the courage to be hated;
A girl who is not taken care of by others will not be a bad person. They dare to refuse the demands of others and do not violate their own principles in order to please others.
They are also not afraid of being hated because they know that their value does not lie in the evaluation of others.
They have the courage to be hated because they know exactly who they are and don't need the approval of others to prove their worth.
Some people in life like to be good people, no one wants to offend, afraid of rejecting others, but in the end it is themselves who are wronged.
I used to be a good girl, and in some relationships, I didn't want to stiffen the relationship.
But in the end, it disgusted everyone, and he was thankless.
Therefore, in life, we must dare to reject others, have our own position, not be bad people, and not be afraid of being hated by others.
I like this passage in "Big Fish and Begonia":
"In this short life, we will all end up losing. You might as well be bold, love someone, climb a mountain, and chase a dream. ”Human life is limited, so we might as well live this life according to the lifestyle we like. If you don't like something, don't force yourself to go, and if you don't really like it, don't force yourself to be together.
To be a girl who is not manipulated at will, can you have more freedom in life, be yourself better, and live your true self.
All of the above! 
It's not easy to code words, if you feel that the content inspires you, I hope you can spend 01 second to like, your affirmation will always be the power of my continuous output, thank you!
Author: Mu Muxue, a self-leading writer who focuses on personal growth and is working hard to be free, may we become a better version of ourselves through hard work and live the life we yearn for.