There is a post on the Internet, the theme is how jealous women are, a netizen said that his parents have been married for more than 30 years, and his mother mentioned his father's ex-girlfriend, and his mouth is still "your little mother". The sour smell can float for 20 miles against the wind, and this "hatred" can't be solved for half a lifetime. This is still an ex-girlfriend, before his mother appeared, he still hated it when he mentioned it, and he was like a thorn in his eye, and it hurt when he pulled it out, and it still hurt when he pulled it out. After marriage, I have someone else in my heart, I am lovesick to others, peek at others, track other people's actions, write hypocritical texts, and even have sexual fantasies, no wife can bear it, unless it is the usual marriage relationship is abnormal. directly became a "blood feud", which can definitely be sour for a lifetime. 
I imagine that if this happened to me—I couldn't bear it, I couldn't bear it at all, and with my level of toughness, I guess he would hang the lottery, and he would have to be washed and washed from the spirit to the body. But mental derailment, to put it bluntly, is just a matter of activity and activity, and there is no sin of "death penalty". The ancients have long said, "There is no saint in the heart, and there is no saint in the heart", who has not lived in marriage? Who hasn't had sexual fantasies about another person of the opposite sex? No one here should deny it, one counts as one, and there are all of them. None of us are saints, and let's not pretend to be saints. We really don't need to splash the bath water even with the children, the water is dirty, but the children can still wash it. You said that your husband was also quite unlucky, he was caught by you just after more than half a month of crushing, and the horizontal knife was immediately cut off, not to mention that he didn't have time to do anything, or pure unrequited love, and he was deducted by you for a mental cheating. If he was a little more cunning and cunning, he only thought in his heart, watching her heart beat faster every day, and he didn't write words and didn't save **, even if he didn't find out three years later. I don't realize that you don't have a good life every day. There are two kinds of tragedies in life, one is the tragedy of knowing the truth, and the other is the tragedy of being kept in the dark. And in many things that have nothing to do with principles, it is often uninformed that protects us for peace and happiness. You don't know that the chef who cooked for you didn't wash his hands after going to the toilet, and you would have a happier meal. You don't know that there are actually more germs on your phone than on the toilet, and you don't have a little psychological burden when you put your phone on your face. Mental derailment also belongs to this category, and when you know it, you will be very emotionally and spiritually, and if you don't know anything, you still live happily every day. And we're particularly prone to double standards for this kind of thing. When I was active and my eyes were not discovered by my partner, I felt that I was just brainstorming, and there was no harm to my marriage at all. When others move their hearts and eyes, they are discovered by themselves, and they are annoyed and crying angrily, wiping away tears, and feeling betrayed. 
So my advice is simple,Scold when you should scold, and be jealous when you should be jealousThis is your responsibility as a wife, and it is also your basic respect for him - the husband is "mentally cheating", and the wife is indifferent, doesn't it mean that the man has no charm at all? Symbolic trouble, a trick, it doesn't matter if you're sour for the rest of your lifeJust don't take it too seriously, attach importance to it strategically and despise it tactically. Because this lady is the specific object of your life, you feel particularly unbearable, if he directly secretly looks at ** actresses, collects a large number of ** female stars, and writes sexual fantasy texts for them, do you feel better? I'll tell you a secret: there are so many men or women who roll the sheets thinking not of their partner, but of the object of their sexual fantasies. These sexual fantasy objects may be celebrity idols, or they may be colleagues, friends, and Zhang Sanwang next door. They will only come into play in the most intimate moments, and as long as they put on their clothes, the magic of these people will disappear and they will not pose a threat to life at all. So, it's not so much his mental derailment that hurts you, it's the uncertainty of your life that hurts you. You used to think that he was so safe, and even despised his existence a little, treating him as a tool for your own marriage, but suddenly you found out that he would like others too, and he was also at risk, so you began to be afraid and uneasy. I think it's good to have this kind of change in thinking, so that you can be prepared for danger in times of peace, so that you know how to prevent small problems, and let you understand that there will never be feelings in the world that can be put in a safe. You need to be strong, but the result of being strong may be to let go of the other person's hand without looking back, or it may be to laugh at it all as a passing moment. Both of these are powerful. None of them are more powerful or noble, and if I had to compare, I would find the latter more difficult to achieve. is inseparable from it, but it is still very easy for people to see the emptiness in you. If you see through it, men won't be afraid of you. Calm down, how much wind and waves can he turn over, isn't it just ps**, pick it up and say lightly, "Oh, the technology is good, when will you give me Andy Lau." "I can't kill him. He will put his crush's **p on** woman's head, he just treats her as a carrier of **. It's a former colleague — not you, if she knows. 
What you really have to do is not to subtract this person from his heart, but to understand why this person is there. You said it several times in your letter, saying, "I'm not sure what happened in his heart," or "I don't know what he thinks." Also, "He and I share the same language, and sometimes there are small conflicts and quarrels, but I feel happy", "I once thought that our relationship was actually sublimated. "It's all what you think, it's all what you think, what he thinks, you're not sure at all, and you don't understand why he would be tempted by others when you feel very happy. A truly happy marriage must be completely isolated from outsiders, and there is no need to deliberately maintain self-discipline, but it is impossible to pour more water into an overflowing cup. After you find out that he is mentally cheating, please note that what he promises is that there will be no change in your relationship, not anything in your relationship. He must have had some unfulfillment in the marital relationship, it could be emotional, it could be sexual. He just doesn't want to say it, or has expressed it and you've ignored it. He is the kind of person who is good in marriage, a person with a sense of responsibility, even if I have someone else in my heart, I will do my duty as a good husband to you, and I will also take care of the children, do housework, and pay wages. This kind of good person will create an illusion for you, making you think that the years are quiet and unguarded, but in the end, it will also be this kind of good person who will fight back against you, and they will endure it until the end, and they will completely let go. You have to try to open his heart, enter his world, touch and solve the real problems in your relationship, so that this marriage crisis can be completely resolved. Otherwise, only the phenomenon is solved, not the essence, and similar problems may recur.