How is your marriage now? Is it incomplete to be tormented by a man's betrayal? Recently, I found that many fans have read a lot of my content when they come to me, and even eradicate my content and blindly use it on themselves, but some of them are useless, and some are counterproductive, in fact, it is what I said, 10,000 people have 10,000 personalities, and it seems to be a very similar situation, the details are different, and the solutions to be used are different.
I know that for the betrayal of the man, you hate it to the core, you are unwilling, you want to let the man in front of you lose everything, and even want to take revenge on him, but these have never helped you in any way, after the revenge, only emptiness remains, the problem is still not solved, and you even fall apart.
Why does a man's betrayal bring you so much hurt and blow? This is not just because the man is unfaithful to you, but because you can't figure out the reason why the man is so different from you, the man knows your character well, and you are beginning to become strange to him, which is equivalent to us playing cards, you are playing cards with men, men are competing with you in secret, the root of all this is actually ** your perception of yourself is not clear, men are clear about your character, but you don't know your own character, and you can't even see your own limit.
When encountering the bottom-line problem of betrayal, if you can't discover your hidden skills, you will always be held by men, so today's content, I want to understand your own character for the wife who is deep in the whirlpool of betrayal, discover your hidden skills, and catch a man off guard, so that a man can become honest, and then let's take a seat together to see what kind of character you are and what potential skills you can explore.
1.Ostrich-like character.
We all know that when the ostrich encounters a problem, when he is afraid, he will stick his head into the soil, leaving only his body outside, some wives are actually like this, they are very afraid of conflicts, and it is easy to escape when encountering contradictions and problems, and the state in marriage is that as long as the man is emotionally impulsive, short-tempered, and speaks loudly, he will be cowardly, and he is afraid that the contradiction between the two people will expand, so he chooses the mode of dealing with big things and small things.
And when this type of wife comes to me, she often says: "Teacher, I really don't want my marriage to break down like this, I'm afraid of divorce, I want my family marriage to be complete, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't get divorced, I'm also afraid of what will happen if I just follow him, teacher, help me!" ”
In fact, this kind of wife lives very screwed, wants to have a happy and complete marriage, but does not dare to be tough, but is not tough and afraid that the man will continue like this, thinking more than doing, looking forward and backward, can only let herself fall into a dead end and continue to internal friction, this type of wife, the most important potential skill to explore is confrontation and revenge, when the ostrich is used to it, he forgets that he was actually a meat-eating eagle.
Learn to confront and reply, you will find that men are not as powerful as you think, for example, if you mention the betrayal of men, men will lose their temper with you very much, and even curse you, you can reply like this: "It's not a tantrum or you did the right thing, is it in your eyes that I am a person who has no desire and no desire, and can do whatever you want?" I used to think that as long as we had a good relationship, it didn't matter what else were, but for letting you, now you have to kick my nose and face with me when you do something wrong, I really think I'm a bully, right? Don't you think I have no evidence to mess around with you here? Transfer records, chat logs, those disgusting words, do you need me to throw them in your face? Or shall I read it to you? Or do you want me to make it public and let your colleagues and friends see your face?
My tolerance is based on your loyalty, and now you still want to use this trick against me, I'm sorry, you found the wrong person, you don't want to make things ugly, you just think about whether you want to go back or leave, think about leaving or will communicate with me again, don't shout at me here, I have a headache when I shout, give you 2 days to think, and talk about it then, if you dare to escape, I can also become crazy and do some irrational things! ”
You have to let go of your weakness and show your meat-eating side, and he will value your feelings again.
2.Strong woman character.
This kind of don't need to be explained too much, strong women, can make money, have strong ability, and are self-confident, but they are often accompanied by strength and preaching, so when facing the betrayal of men, they are unwilling from the heart, and there is such a voice in their hearts: "My mother is so good, but you have fallen in love with a woman who is not as good as me everywhere, it's really embarrassing for me, and I don't know how I fell in love with you before, no, even if this man pulls me, I have to pull it back, ask me what I like about that woman!" ”
Once a man likes a woman who is inferior to him in every way, you will become crazy, you think that this is what men care about, in fact, there is never a fixed reason for a man's betrayal, even if this woman has no ability, but he provides him with emotional value, spiritual value, he will go up.
So you say that there is a fixed nature in the betrayal of men? Never, a man's betrayal is only willing, and even sometimes the betrayal is inexplicable and can't figure it out, then at this time, continue to show the strong side, and the man will only run faster and farther.
And if you are such a wife, what you need to discover is your soft side, this softness is not for you to stick to the man, be gentle with him and let him go home, he betrayed, and then you stick to him and say something lowly and do something, it will definitely not have an effect, it will only breed the man's ambition to continue to betray.
What you need is to learn to ride a man on an emotional roller coaster, what does that mean? Although the man betrayed, he knew very well that marriage is the foundation, economic conditions, and living standards cannot be provided by women outside, and if you ask him to give up his material life because of an outside relationship, he will never do it, so in fact, this man just wants to find a short period of gentleness outside.
Gentle Township is beautiful, but if you want him to wake up from a gentle dream, you need to let him not only have a new understanding of you, but also let him have an illusion that if you don't catch you, you will lose you, which is the point of the emotional rollercoaster. You can be nice to him, make him feel as if you are not the strong you used to be, and you will also know how to care, give him some comfort and encouragement, and let his emotions reach the peak, but you also have to learn to let him not control you, but ask him about his betrayal, but ask him about his state, let his emotions fall to the bottom, and even create a situation that you have had frequent contact with some members of the opposite sex recently.
The point of the emotional roller coaster is to make the man's emotions about you not a horizontal line, sometimes get and sometimes lose, curious, dependent but can't hold him to be afraid, this, the use of human nature, we will all have expectations for the other half, especially when you see the other party has changed, you can give him expectations, but also to repeatedly shuttle his expectations back and forth between the peak and the bottom, he will pay attention to you!
So in fact, many wives don't know enough about themselves when they come to me, and they don't know what their hidden skills are, just looking at my content and wanting to apply it is absolutely wrong, the situation is different, you must do it in a targeted manner, so I hope that every wife can really see their own and explore their own abilities at the same time, I am really not sure, come to me, don't let yourself go further and further in the mistakes!