Parents have different expectations for their children at different stages of life. When we were young, we were worried about our children's health; When we go to school, we worry about their learning; After graduating, we worry about whether they will be able to find a good job. And now, when the child is about to talkIn loveWhen we start a family, our expectations inevitably shift to finding a partner. As a post-70s mother, I hope that my son can find a girl with a stable job as his partner. However, when he talks about a girlfriend who doesn't have a stable job, I strongly disagree. So, we had a disagreement.
The son is a conformist who chose to work within the system after graduating from college. However, due to the influence of his family environment, he has always cherished the dream of taking the preparation examination. After two years of hard work, he finally managed to go ashore last year. After that, his circle of friends began to be constantly introduced to him. There are many girls in the system, while boys are relatively scarce. Although our family conditions are acceptable, we are not wealthy, but we are relatively free of food and clothing. My husband and I both work within the system, and the income is not high, butlifeIt is relatively stable, and you can commute to and from work on time every day, and you can enjoy rest on statutory holidays.
Because the family conditions were acceptable, the son resolutely quit his job after working in the system for a few months and chose to take the examination. Although he had a previous work experience in a foreign company, he resolutely gave up and resolutely returned to the system. At the same time, most of the people he got acquainted with were girls in the system, such as teachers, doctors, civil servants, etc. However, after each meeting, there was no result and it quickly came to naught.
It wasn't until last Friday that my son told me that he had found a girlfriend and was going to take it home to meet us over the weekend. My husband and I were very happy when we heard the news. Early on Sunday morning, we went to the morning market to buy groceries and fruits, as well as fish and meat. At noon, I prepared a sumptuous table of dishes and waited with anticrisy for the arrival of my son's girlfriend.
As parents, expectations for your children change as you get older. When we were young, our worries focused on their physical health, for fear that they would get sick and suffer. After going to school, we started to worry about their studies and anxious about their test results. After graduating, we started to worry about whether they could get a good job. And now, the son has stepped inMarriageAt his age, our anxiety shifted to hisMarriageSelect On.
I remember my mom once said, "When you have a child, you have to your heart for the rest of your life until you close your eyes." This sentence is vividly reflected in what happened to me now. Although the son is not very old, he entered the workforce early, according to most peoplelifeplanning, now is the best time for him to find a partner. As a parent, I would like my son to get married and start a family smoothly so that we can fulfill our expectations for him as soon as possible.
The girl's condition is really good, with a height of 168 cm and a weight of about 100 pounds. She was very beautiful and very good at laughing. As the saying goes, a girl who loves to laugh will not be unlucky. I was deeply impressed by this girl, and thought to myself that maybe the people my son hadn't talked to before were not the real girls in his eyes, and now he has really found the person he likes.
Eating a delicious meal, we chatted. During the communication with the girl, I asked her how old she was. She said she and her son were high school classmates and were the same age. I glanced at my son, and it turned out that they had been talking secretly in high schoolIn love, and the parents have been kept in the dark, and only the students know the secret. UntilGo to collegeAfter they were admitted differentlySchools, but they have always kept in touch, and it has been five or six years now. It turned out that the bear child had been keeping it a secret.
I then asked the girl, "Are you working in **?" She replied, "Working in a private company." We talked a little bit more about her family's situation and learned that her parents were small businessmen and usually worked very hard. After the girl left, my son asked for my opinion. I did not hesitate to disagree. My son asked me, "Why?" I replied: "The girl is impeccable-looking, but she doesn't have a stable job." The son retorted: "Mom, your idea is too outdated, how many people have stable jobs now?" I continued: "Son, she doesn't have a stable job, and if she gets married and has children in the future, she may be unemployed, so can you support a family of three by yourself?" If you find a girl who works in the system, although the income may not be very high, at least you can ensure that you have no worries about food and clothing. "We didn't have a consensus in our conversation, sonAngryThe ground went out.
For me, I don't think I'm wrong. The salary of civil servants is not high, and the salary that my son can get a month is only more than 4,000 yuan. I once bought him a car, and in addition to the gas money and insurance, I had to pay 2,000 yuan for my own expenses alone. If the son's wife does not have a job in the future, plus they have to raise a child, this will undoubtedly bring them great financial pressure. On the contrary, if both of them have stable jobs, the income security can save a lot of worries. They can enjoy itPensions, medical insurance, provident fund and other benefits, the monthly salary income will also be considerable. It can not only feed the children, but also ensure the family's supportlifeQuality. Speaking from my own experience, as people from rural areas, my husband and I have been working hard from scratch until now. We went through a lot of hardships, so I don't want my son to live like this againlife。I didn't think there was anything wrong with that, but my son didn't understand me.
SonAngryAfter heading out, I got lost in thought. I know that disagreements with sons are inevitable, and that parents of each age expect different things from their children, and everyone is rightlifeThe definition of is also different. He thinks that feelings are more important than everything, while I value practicality morelifeCircumstance. As parents, we can't just force our children to do what we dolife, but their choice should be respected.
I decided to find an opportunity to communicate with my son and calmly exchange our thoughts and concerns. I wanted to share with him my expectations and concern for him, while also listening to him about the futurelifeideas and plans. Perhaps, through rational communication, we can find a compromise solution that can not only meet the emotional needs of our son, but also take into account the futurelifestability and economic security.
As parents, our role is to guide our children, not to ask them to do what we wantlife。We should give our children respect and space to make their own decisions and take the consequences. Maybe our ideas are different from the aesthetics of the times, but children also need to explore and experience. It is only in practice that they can truly grow and mature.
Overall, as parents, we expect unlimited from our children, but we also need to guide them wisely and give them the power to choose. I will continue to try to understand my son and work with him to find someone who can meet his emotional needs and ensure stability for the futurelifeof the program. After all, my son's well-being is what I care about most.