1. Go shopping with your mother. Due to the difference in aesthetic views, I decided to go separate from my mother. I looked at the clothes on the second floor, and my mother looked at the shoes on the first floor.
Before getting on the elevator, my mother asked, "Did you bring any money?" When I heard this, I was very happy and replied, "I didn't bring it." Then my mother said, "Well, let's go shopping." ”
2 As soon as many girls enter the summer and don't see each other for a while, you will find that she suddenly seems to have changed as if she was a different person. Not only is the circle of friends rarely updated, he goes out early and returns late, he just wants to sleep listlessly every time he meets, and the whole person is also dark and ugly. Don't worry, she didn't have an accident, she didn't have plastic surgery, she might just go to learn to drive!
3 Today, the iron pillar was in tatters and passed by a very high-end community and was pulled into the community by a beautiful woman.
The broken cardboard box left over from the beautiful ** repair house, the iron pillar weighed.
Beauty asks: How much?
The iron pillar said, "Seventy."
When Tie Zhu was about to give her money, the beauty said that it was too expensive, fifty.
When Tie Zhu was confused, the beauty gave him fifty yuan and left!
4 When I was a child, since I knew that my mother's surname was Dongfang, I felt that this surname was so popular, and I made trouble for my father to change his surname. One time my father was so annoyed that he picked up a stick and started beating me, and the ghost cried wolf. Grandpa hurriedly came over and grabbed my father and asked: What's wrong? Dad said, "Your grandson is clamoring to change his surname." Grandpa scolded his father: Change your surname? You can't beat a child like this if you change your surname, just go hungry for a few days behind closed doors!
5The husband and his wife quarreled, and when they came home, the wife was bruised.
The husband went to tease the cat with fun.
The wife yelled, "What are you doing with that pig?" ”
The husband was amazed and said, "This is a cat, not a pig." ”
The wife took it again: "I talk to the cat, what do you want you to interject?" ”
6 daughter-in-law: Husband, do you have something to discuss? In the past, you cooked and I washed the dishes, and from now on, you will do the laundry, cooking, and dishwashing, do you think it's okay? My husband was angry at the time and said loudly: Do you still need to discuss such a trivial matter with me? Just arrange it directly.
7 On Sunday, Xiao Yu and his father went to the zoo to see the lions, they came to the lion house, Xiao Yumiko was so happy that she couldn't help but ask this and that, after looking at it for a while, she suddenly became uneasy, and her father asked her if something was wrong. "Dad, I'm a little scared," Xiao You replied in a trembling voice, "If this lion breaks free from its cage and eats you, how many cars should I take home?" ”
8 Night, my ex-girlfriend suddenly called me, I hesitated for a moment but still answered. She and I were silent for a few seconds, and then she said, "I miss you!" I was silent for a few seconds and asked, "What's wrong?" She said a little weakly, "I have a fever" and I asked eagerly, "How many degrees?" She said: "39 degrees" I thought about it, 39 degrees, it's quite serious, after all, we used to be together for a long time, what should I say? Praise her, or say a blessing, although separated, and then I said, "It's 39 degrees, you're pretty good!" "Toot toot ......Hung up!
9Me: "How about the girl you went on a blind date?" Dude: "It's like a heroine in a youth nostalgia movie." Me: "Wow, pure and beautiful?" Dude: "Got a tire." ”
10 Doctors tell us that a pimple on the forehead is a problem with the liver and heart;
Acne around the lip circumference is a sign of intestinal problems; Yintang acne is poor heart function;
Acne on the left cheek is a problem with the liver and blood circulation; Acne on the right cheek is a problem with the lungs;
Acne on the cheeks and cheeks is due to poor lymphatic circulation; A pimple on the chin represents an endocrine disorder; Acne on the temples is a bad gallbladder....
So I'm going to die if I'm covered in acne all over my face, right?
11 Watching TV with my wife, I was broadcasting a disabled person who can do a lot of things with his feet, I said to my wife that I admire it, and my wife said that I can do anything difficult about it, and I said that you can try it. My wife kicked me and said, go and pour me a glass of water.
12 My girlfriend suddenly asked me, do you love me or her? I was confused: Who is she? Then she cried, and said while making trouble: Let's break up, you don't say you love me first, but care about who she is first! I quickly changed my tone and comforted: Of course I love you! I didn't expect her to cry even more fiercely: Wow, it turns out that you really have someone outside, break up!