1 went to the driving school to learn to drive, the coach took us three students to practice the road, a female student was very nervous and did not dare to accelerate, the coach scolded her, what kind of driver's license do you take, this speed is not as good as riding a battery car! The girl began to speed up, the faster she became more nervous, and the coach pointed to a pedestrian crossing the road in front of her and said, "See? "See", run over", Huh? I don't dare! The coach stepped on the brakes and yelled: "Don't you dare not brake? ”
2 The two brothers and sisters have reached the age of beauty, and they always look at the mirror every day to feel self-pity, but their mother often only buys beautiful clothes for their sister, and the elder brother complains to his father about this, and his father comforts: Export things should be especially particular about packaging!
3. There are some small and transparent shrimp in the fish tank in our office. One day, the leader wore his reading glasses and approached the fish tank for a long time. He turned to me and asked, confused, "What's in this tank?" I immediately replied, "Shrimp, leader." The leader was stunned for a moment, and left without speaking. Realizing that I might have mistaken my tone, I hurried out and explained loudly: "It's shrimp, leader!" It is a transparent prawn, leader! The kind of shrimp you can see! It's really shrimp! "Now I'm looking for a job!
4Son: "Mom, what is a submissive person?"
Mom: "It's the people who never express their opinions, and often say 'yes, yes, yes'. Dad, I'm right.
Dad: "Yes, yes, yes. ”
5 bought ice cream for my three-year-old girl, but I was afraid that she would eat too much and have diarrhea, I said, "Come and take a bite of Mommy", but I took a bite of most of it, because it was too cold, I fanned it with my hand, and my daughter said, "Let you eat so big, burn to death."
6 When I went to the market to buy watermelon, I asked the boss curiously, "Is this watermelon sweet?" The boss touched his chin and replied philosophically: "If I say it's not sweet, you definitely won't buy it." If I say it's sweet, but I haven't tasted it myself, how can I be sure? Life is like buying watermelon, the unknown is what makes it wonderful. Be bold and try, if it is sweet, you will feel extremely happy; If it's not sweet, at least you've been brave enough to try it. If you don't buy watermelon, you lose not only the opportunity to taste it, but also the courage to take a step. ”
7The father and his two children were watching "Animal World" on television, and suddenly they were inspired and asked the children: "Let me test you: Among the many animals in the world, which animals can give you meat to eat and leather shoes to wear?" ”
The two children thought for a while, and immediately replied together, "That's Daddy!" ”
8 The teacher asks in class, "Who can make a sentence with 'besides'?" Xiao Ming raised his hand and said, "When the train passes, the sound is whatever." The teacher was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said, "Then please make up a similar sentence." Xiao Ming thought for a while and said, "When I'm hungry, my voice is gurgling. ”
When I was 9 years old in junior high school, I had a girlfriend. One day I went to her house to play, and suddenly her mother came back. She hurriedly hid me in her bathroom. Her mother sat on the couch for a while, and then said that she was going to the bathroom, and as soon as she opened the door, she saw me doing laundry, and then I said, "Hello Auntie, I am your daughter's classmate, and today I splashed ink on your daughter." The teacher told me to wash up! ”
10 The child who is in the third grade came back today and was very happy, saying that the teacher praised him for his composition level has reached the level of the fifth grade! I'm so excited!
I silently walked to the balcony, took a deep puff of cigarette, and the hand holding the composition was trembling slightly, this essay that I personally revised six times, it turned out that it was only at this level!
11 The son suddenly said: If it weren't for me, would my grandfather have agreed to the marriage of the two of you?
Last night, my wife and son watched TV with me, my son wanted to watch cartoons, and my wife wanted to watch TV series. The fight is inextricable. I proposed to vote, and whoever listened more to whom, he and his mother also said yes. I just wanted to vote for my wife. The son suddenly said: If it weren't for me, would my grandfather agree to the marriage of the two of you? I was speechless.