Bai Yansong once said in a speech:
"The whole crowd was full of complaints, complaints from the high-ranking officials, complaints from the lowly, complaints from the poor, and complaints from the rich. ”
Material abundance does not bring people the happiness they imagined.
Especially when people reach middle age, the "midlife crisis" causes us to become more anxious.
Happiness is not mentioned for the time being, but pain is felt all the time.
Isn't the ultimate goal of human life to be happy?
The light of the middle-aged man is to himself.
Refuse anxiety and learn to untie yourself.
Let go of other people's eyes and do not have internal friction
Yang Jiang said in "Centennial Speech":
"We were so eager for recognition that we finally realized that the world was our own and had nothing to do with others. ”
Life is your own, and if you care too much about other people's eyes, you will make your world's happiness smaller and smaller.
There is a classic clip in "Dream of Red Mansions", where Daiyu is recuperating in her room due to illness.
I heard someone outside scolding: "You little hooves, what are you, stay in this yard every day."
The sensitive Daiyu heard it and thought that the person was accusing herself of scolding and accusing herself that she shouldn't live here.
She burst into tears and fainted from crying.
In fact, others are just teaching their granddaughters a lesson.
Many times, being too sensitive gives us a lack of self-confidence and allows us to become cautious.
When we care too much about the eyes of others, we will not be able to get along with ourselves, our minds will become smaller, and our happiness will become less and less.
Zeng Guofan was nicknamed "stupid bird" because of his poor congenital memory, and even the "thief" looked down on him.
One night, Zeng Guofan was reviewing an article, and he couldn't memorize it after reading it many times.
A thief hid on the beam of his house, trying to wait for him to fall asleep before coming down to steal.
After waiting for a long time, Zeng Guofan still didn't memorize it, and he was still repeating it over and over again.
The thief got impatient, and jumped out angrily and said, "I've memorized it all from you!" You've been carrying it for a long time, and your brain is really stupid! ”
Then he memorized the article and walked away.
Even the thieves looked down on Zeng Guofan and laughed at him for being stupid, but he was not discouraged.
On the contrary, he adhered to his original heart, made up for his congenital deficiencies with diligence, and finally became a great tool.
In order to achieve his goals, he defies the eyes of the world and focuses on improving himself.
Be a person with a strong heart, block the world's eyes, and stop internal friction.
In this way, you will gain a better version of yourself and a more ideal life.
Stop being self-critical and don't be anxious
Writer Hu Yinmeng once said:"At the top of human nature, self-denial and doubt are always there. ”
There is some part of self-doubt and denial in everyone's thoughts and minds.
We often fall into self-criticism because of some small things, and we always feel that we are not good enough.
Excessive self-blame may seem like self-reflection, but it doesn't actually solve the problem.
On the contrary, people who are accustomed to self-denial are using "self-attack" to escape from life's problems.
In the long run, this kind of negative thinking will only lead to anxiety and make life and work worse.
A psychologist did an experiment where he put a prism on his desk.
The first side reads "Abominable Others";
The second side reads "Poor Self";
The third side is "what to do".
People who come to him for counseling on psychological problems usually only see the first two sides of the mirror.
But if we don't look at the third side of the mirror, we will never be able to solve the problem.
Han Dong said:"Corrective action, don't condemn yourself. ”
Leave a space inside of yourself and put that self that you feel is "not good enough".
Stop blaming yourself by consuming energy, and start focusing on the problem itself.
Recognize yourself, find your own unique value, and everything will be bright.
Go your own time zone, don't compare
The people ** have such a passage:
"The rhythm of life is different from person to person, some people make noodles for 3 minutes, some people cook soup for 3 hours, some people have taken out and delivered, and some people have just cut the garlic moss and meat, the important thing is that when you choose the way you want, be firm and don't think nonsense. ”
Everyone's pace of life is different, some fast and some slow.
We don't have to cater to other people's rhythms, because there is no standard answer in life.
Mr. Yang Jiang seems to be the one who will never be bound by anything.
Yang Jiang, who is nearly 90 years old, has sent away her daughter and husband successively, and people think that she is dying in her old age and will inevitably suffer alone.
She recalled the past alone and wrote "We Three".
And worked tirelessly, day and night to sort out Qian Zhongshu's manuscripts before his death.
After she put in a lot of effort and energy, Qian Zhongshu's life's work was passed down to the world.
In the same year, Mr. Yang Jiang passed away peacefully, and he was known as a "centenarian".
She did not choose to spend the rest of her life miserably as a miserable old man, but kept her rhythm and lived a bright and elegant 100-year-old life.
There are many time zones in life, and taking your own time zone is the road to a happy life.
The world is impermanent, keep your heart, and don't care about people and things in the outside world, in order to maintain your own life trajectory.
In order to live your own life in your own time zone, do not blindly compare.
In the book "A New Beginning at 40 Years Old", there is such a sentence:
"I had a great day and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. If you can live every day to the fullest, you can continue to grow no matter how old you are. ”
The middle age is also a new beginning for a good life.
When we keep our own rhythm, don't care about the eyes of others, and learn to live a relaxed life, life will be full of hope and beauty.
Every day is happy, and every day is rewarded.
Remember to loosen yourself, and hope that we can all follow our own steps and move forward towards a better life.
May you and I all go well, and a better life will come as promised.
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