In the past two days, I have sorted out and summarized the current problems of writing in the first semester of junior high school, and you can compare your own writing to see if there is the same problem.
Writing in junior high school is basically a narrative, and writing about people is the main content. In my usual assignments and exam essays, I found that students' essays can also describe one thing completely, but they always give people a bland and boring feeling, unable to find bright spots, and sometimes confusing. After analysis, I found four major problems in students' essays.
The first problem is that the material is not properly selected and the writing cannot be centered around the center.
For example, the title is "My new table mate is so kind", but it is written about lively and active things; Another example is the title "My new table mate is so fun", but the thing written is to show that he is good at learning and responsible. This kind of composition gives people a sense of separation, and the selected examples cannot reflect the characteristics of the characters, and in the final analysis, it is off topic.
This question reminds us that we must select materials before writing, and choose materials that are relevant to the topic of writing. When you see a topic, you may have a lot of examples in your mind, so you might as well write down everything you can think of, and then eliminate it according to the topic, leaving the most suitable one.
For example, if I want to show that a classmate has a great memory, I think of the following things about him: Example 1, read the story and remember the details; Case 2: Remember what I said yesterday; Case 3: Remember my birthday; In case 4, the map was drawn exactly after looking at it.
What do you think is the best case for your memory? Apparently case 4. Then we will use this example in our writing, and the rest can be ruled out.
Choosing the right material and writing around the center is the foundation and fundamental requirement of the composition.
The second is the question of description.
One is a description of the characters, and the other is a description of the events. Whether it is for characters or events, it is necessary to write specific and realistic. However, in the students' writing, the problem of "replacing the process with the result" arose. For example, if a student writes that it is interesting to write about the same table, he will give an example lightly, and then superimpose similar examples to repeat it, so as to illustrate the characteristics of the characters. Actually, this is an "illustration", not a character. So how do you describe it?
After selecting the case you are writing about, please recall the specific event and use the six-element writing method to make the description of the event seem realistic.
Character description, using the method of describing the character to describe the character positively, such as using verbs to write actions, using dialogue to write language, so that the image of the character is vivid and vivid; You can also use contrasts to highlight its features from the side.
The third is that the details are not appropriate and the focus is not prominent.
The narrative should be divided into primary and secondary, and the details should be different. In the students' many assignments, the most obvious question is the topic of "colorful activities".
Many students write about the sports meeting, and the content before the sports meeting is written a lot, such as the excitement when they learn about the sports meeting and the preparation before the sports meeting are written too much, but there are few games, which is not the main and secondary, and the details are inappropriate.
Some students write about the competitions in the sports meeting, but they work average and the focus is not prominent. It is often written like this: the first is an 800-meter run, the second is a long jump, and the third is a high jump. Every game is comprehensive, and without eye-catching moments or images, the whole game will not be impressive.
This kind of writing is called flat and straightforward, without details and focus, so the article will not have ups and downs, and it will be very boring to read.
Among the many exercises, I still found a good one. This article has done a good job in terms of language, structure, and the training points (combination of points and faces) of this composition. The following is only a part of the screenshot for your reference.
Wonderful sports day
Grade 6 (1) Class Zhang Yandong
The long-awaited sports meeting of the students has finally opened. (Get straight to the point, straight to the point.) The language is clean and clear, without any procrastination).
Early in the morning, without the mobilization of the homeroom teacher, the students had already gathered in the sports field early. The athletes of all classes are gearing up and eager to try, just waiting for the opening to show their skills. After a short opening ceremony, the competition officially began. (A little bit before the game, the focus is on the game.) The language is concise, and the details are clear at a glance).
The sports field suddenly became lively: a gunshot rang out, and a vigorous figure rushed on the sky-blue circular track, like a group of extremely agile cheetahs; From time to time, athletes leap high on the golden bunkers and fly across the sky like birds
The students in the audience were not willing to be lonely, cheering and cheering one after another. The lively scene made the temperature on the sports field rise a little.
The above two paragraphs are descriptions of surfaces, one is a sports field, and the other is an auditorium. The arrangement of noodles made us feel the excitement of the sports meeting and the high mood of the students).
Exciting competitions are going on, and one of the most interesting competitions is the "two-person three-legged" in the fun sports. (A simple transition turns the reader's gaze from the surface to the point, and the focus of the point allows the reader to further feel the tension and enthusiasm of the game.) The combination of points and surfaces is natural and smooth, without traces).
The fourth is the lack of lyrical, argumentative sentences and paragraphs.
Nowadays, there is a common problem in students' narrative writing that is that the narrative is blindly narrated, and it is over by writing only one or two sentences of their feelings or expressing their feelings at the end of the article.
A good narrative, a narrative that touches people's hearts must be interspersed and full of emotion. Therefore, emotion is the essence of narrative, and narrative is only a carrier for expressing emotion. Therefore, it is difficult to have emotional resonance with readers without narrative and lyricism, and it cannot achieve the effect of moving people with emotion.
If you want to write a narrative to move people, you must learn to be lyrical and argumentative in a timely manner, and I think the most direct way is to bring yourself to the scene of the narrative, to be immersed in the scene, and to empathize with it. We often say that "the joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same", and that is because we are not on the same frequency, but when we are all in the same situation, I think human nature will make us understand each other's joys and sorrows. At this time, your words, the words that flow from the bottom of your heart, will definitely move people's hearts and gain touching.
The following are two paragraphs of the essay "The Warmest Companion", to feel the expression of lyrical argumentation.
Later, I went to elementary schoolYour temperament has slowed down, and gray hair and wrinkles have come to you at some point. I remember that it was the sixth grade, and I was about to graduate, and I was about to face the first big exam in my life - the unified examination. During that time, I always reviewed until midnight, and you, always sat silently next to me. On summer nights, the wind of habit blows away my uneasiness, and the cheerful chirping of cicadas accompanies us in a good time.
On the day of my unified examination, you smiled and encouraged me who was under pressure, and in your warm smile, I nodded confidently and walked to the examination room. When I turned my head suddenly, you were still behind me, still smiling at me quietly. That smile will always be hidden in the depths of my heart.
The above two bold words are a description of an event. Writing about the company's companionship of "me" on the day of the sixth-grade unified examination, the language is concise, the narrative is interspersed, and it is full of feelings, and it has a touching power to read it. I love this kind of text, and I'm sure you will like it too. Many students don't describe a thing succinctly, as long as they write a narrative, they must write a complete story, and just blindly narrate, and finally express their feelings in one or two sentences. Looking back at the narrative of this article, do you have a different understanding? Narrating a thing, not necessarily from beginning to end, you can choose the scene or moment that can best express the center, in addition to narration, but also lyrical, argumentative, with a variety of expressions to help you express your meaning).
Anything is easier said than done. Writing, in particular, is a very personal practice. It has a lot to do with everyone's accumulation, understanding, expression habits, etc., so it is not a simple thing that I can do well by memorizing. It takes practice, you need to keep internalizing the writing method, and you need to use the writing method in each practice, only in this way can the writing level gradually improve.