How to praise children in an appropriate way, develop self-confidence, and avoid causing oppression?
Introductory. Recently, I observed something that struck me deeply. Xiao Ming is an ordinary child, although his academic performance is not top-notch, he has a hard-working heart. After a math test, he scored 80, which was a big improvement for him. However, when he happily handed over the report card to his father, he just said to him:"It's ok, but it's not good enough. "Xiao Ming's heart sank. This incident made me think deeply: we often say that the words and actions of parents have a profound impact on their children, but in this case, the father's attitude, although motivated by high expectations for his son, ignores the sunshine and rain that the child needs to grow up, which includes both reasonable criticism and timely praise.
The balance between praise and criticism.
1.1 The dual role of praise and criticism: praise is sunshine, criticism is rain and dew, and both are indispensable in education.
Praise and criticism are two indispensable elements of family education. Praise can illuminate a child's heart and stimulate children's inner motivation; Criticism can help children correct their mistakes in time and promote their growth. Only by combining these two elements can we better guide children's growth.
Extend. Praise and criticism are the two basic parts of education, but it takes a certain amount of skill to use them. First of all, in the criticism, we should not only have constructive opinions to guide the child to find the direction of progress, but also not be satisfied with general praise in the praise, but also pay attention to the child's efforts and progress. For example, in the face of Xiao Ming's progress, parents can say:"You have made progress in this exam, but there are still some problems in the way of solving the questions, let's take a look at how to solve these problems"。This kind of praise not only affirmed Xiao Ming's efforts, but also gave him the direction and method of improvement.
1.2 The Art of Reasonable Criticism and Sincere Praise: A good balance can only be struck between the two on the basis of understanding and respect.
Constructive criticism does not mean finding fault with children, but pointing out their mistakes, giving them pointers, and showing them ways to correct them. When making constructive criticism, parents should avoid generalizations, but should be specific about the problem and make appropriate suggestions for improvement. Above all, the process of criticism should be filled with respect and love. Children are more emotional individuals and are extremely sensitive to their parents' tone and attitude. Adding an element of love and understanding to criticism not only reduces stress for your child but also motivates them to correct their mistakes.
Extend. Praise should not be limited to affirming success, but more importantly, acknowledging the child's efforts and progress. Praise should be specific and sincere, not general and false. In the process of praise, parents should pay attention to their children's efforts and progress, and use specific words to express their affirmation and encouragement to their children. This kind of praise not only boosts your child's self-confidence, but also motivates them to keep trying.
Balance the difficulty and ability of praise and criticism.
2.1 The Art of Balance: Finding a balance between criticism and praise requires constant learning and practice.
Striking a balance between praise and criticism is not an easy task, and parents often oscillate between the two, sometimes too lenient and sometimes too harsh. However, we must recognize that finding the balance is a process that requires continuous learning and practice. Just like in gardening, plants shouldn't be exposed to the scorching sun or soaked in water for long periods of time – they need the right amount of sunlight and rain to thrive – and children need the right amount of criticism and praise.
2.2 Listen and observe: Understanding your child's needs and stages of development allows for a better balance between praise and criticism.
To find a balance, parents need to listen and observe their child's needs and stages of development. Children of different ages have different needs for praise and criticism. In early childhood, they need more encouragement and affirmation; During adolescence, they need more guidance and advice. By talking and observing with their children, parents can better understand their needs and thus better balance praise and criticism.
Create a positive and positive educational atmosphere.
3.1.Process-Centered for Effort and Growth: Process-centered, emphasizing children's efforts and progress.
Create a positive educational atmosphere that focuses on the process rather than the outcome. Emphasize your child's efforts and progress rather than just focusing on their grades. Parents can encourage their children to set goals and give affirmation and encouragement on the way to achieving them. This type of education can stimulate children's motivation and self-confidence, allowing them to develop and grow better.
3.2 Encourage self-confidence and independence: Give children more autonomy and decision-making power so that they can experience the joy of success.
When it comes to education, parents should give their children more autonomy and decision-making power so that they can experience the joy of success. Encourage children to think independently, express themselves confidently, and make them believe in their own abilities and worth. Parents can encourage and support their children when they encounter difficulties and challenges, so that they can learn to cope and solve problems.
Conclusion. The balance between praise and criticism is key to praising your child appropriately. Criticism should be constructive, while sincere praise should focus on the child's efforts and progress. Parents must learn to listen and observe their children's needs and balance praise and criticism according to different ages and stages of development. The most important thing is to establish a positive and affirmative educational atmosphere, pay attention to the educational process, and value the child's self-confidence and independence. Proper praise not only boosts a child's self-confidence, but also stimulates their growth potential.