1 I finally squeezed into the train and saw a beautiful woman sitting on the seat that belonged to me.
Beauty, this seat seems to be mine?
The beautiful woman took out her train ticket, blind, see clearly, this is my seat.
I looked and looked at it carefully, and said nothing.
Soon the train started, and I said to the beauty: "Beauty, you are on the wrong train."
2. My mother always thinks that I kick the quilt, and it is very tiring to go to my room to cover the quilt for me at night, so she forces me to sleep in the same bed with her.
In the middle of the night, I suddenly felt that the quilt was gone, and it turned out that my mother had pulled the quilt away and wrapped it around me.
I tugged hard a few times, but I didn't move, and I was about to give up. My mother seemed to wake up and touched the ** body that was actually naked, and when she caught me, she beat me: "Dead Nizi, tell you to kick the quilt, tell you to kick the quilt!" ”
3. Usually the salary is handed over to my wife to manage, and today I said to my son: "Dad wants a class reunion, go and ask Mom to give 1,000 yuan." ”
After a while, he came back with a hard hand and said, "Take it yourself." ”
I asked, "Take what?" ”
He said, "Mom said to give you a hammer." ”
4. On the weekend, my boyfriend came to play at home and pulled me to teach me to play games. I wasn't interested in the game, so I couldn't play it well, so my boyfriend slapped me on the head and said, "Why aren't you stupid?" Bai He ignored him and continued to learn the game, and then "snapped" and slapped me again, scolding angrily: "Stupid! This slap hurt me, and I stood up with my eyes wide open and my fists clenched. At this time, the niece who was doing her homework hurriedly came over and asked her boyfriend: "Are you surnamed Wu Song?" The boyfriend shook his head and said no, and the niece continued: "I know that I am not Wu Song, why don't you run away when the tigress is powerful?" ”
5A woman suffered an accident, and her boyfriend donated a large amount of his own blood to her in order to save him!
But it didn't take long for the negative woman to break up with her boyfriend!
The boyfriend shouted angrily: "Want to break up? Then pay off my blood first!! ”
The woman threw the sanitary napkin in the boy's face and scolded, "Give! I'll pay you back in monthly installments! ”
When I was 6 years old, my family was very poor and there was very little good food. One day, my mother went to be a guest and brought me a chicken leg to eat at school, in order to prevent the chicken leg from being snatched up by my classmates, I deliberately asked for leave from class. Then I will never forget that the teacher saw that I hadn't come back to look for me for too long, and saw me in the toilet, ...... while pulling poop and nibbling on chicken legsLater, I caught fire in our school.
7 Walking in the community in the evening, I saw an old woman who accidentally dropped her crutches on the ground, and she couldn't pick them up with great effort. At this time, the old grandmother saw me, and she hurriedly said, "Child, I am too old to bend down, you can help." I said, "No problem!" After saying that, he pressed the old grandmother's head with both hands and bent her waist hard.
8 In the morning, I accompanied my sister to the snack bar to eat steamed buns, and after the waiter brought them up, the goods took out a silver needle from his pocket and pricked it, and the front end of the silver needle turned black, and exclaimed: "The buns are poisonous, who wants to harm the palace", the house full of diners was instantly silent, and then the boss calmly stepped forward and snapped his mouth, "This is a bean paste bun, don't eat rolling calves.........."
9 Xiao Ming:"Dad, what the hell am I here? "Dad:"This, this. You're online. "Xiao Ming:"However, our family only had the Internet last year, and I'm 6 years old? "Mom plays a round game next to it:"Silly child, it was rubbing the wifi of Uncle Wang's house next door. "Dad sighed in his heart: It seems that ** is a little wrong!
10 University department party, eat until the end of the goddess drunk, because it was very late, the dormitory can not go back, everyone knows that I like her very, very much, let me send her to the hotel to let her rest, the goddess is so charming in the dim light, I can't help but take a picture with my mobile phone, look at her again, I can't stand it, I secretly kissed her, but she woke up and slapped me at once, saying: I have been pretending to sleep for so long, you are actually kissing the phone screen, not kissing me!