1. A classmate went to the doctor with gum inflammation, and the doctor said that he would have surgery.
The classmate said, "I haven't had surgery before, so I'm a little nervous. ”
The doctor said, "Don't be nervous, it's my first time having surgery." ”
At this time, ** came over and asked: "Is the anesthetic in the mouth or outside the mouth?" ”
The doctor said, "Hit him on the leg, lest he run ...... later."”
2 In the afternoon, I was hungry, I saw a bottle of yogurt on my colleague's table, and I drank it without thinking about it, and after a while, my colleague came and shouted: "Why is my facial cleanser gone!" 108 pieces! Brother didn't speak, just silently walked to the toilet, picked his throat, old and uncomfortable, spit things desperately, until he spit out sour water, finally vomited almost, tears dripped back to his seat, my colleague hugged a bottle and said: "I'm scared to death, the facial cleanser rolled under the table, why is my yogurt gone." Brother scolded in his heart: ......Drink some yogurt and put people to death.
3 I also said a mess when I was a child, when the elementary school was about to end the holiday, the school had to do a big cleaning, let each student take a rag to the school to wipe the classroom glass or something, the rag that took the school to the podium was placed, the teacher pinched a safflower pants rag with his hand and asked who brought it? A little male classmate raised his hand and said that I couldn't find a rag at home, so he brought my dad's pants! Everyone laughed a lot! I still want to laugh when I think about it!
4. Cover my armpits with a hot water bottle, and then go to the infirmary to use a thermometer to explode the table, no need to ask for leave, the teachers even asked me to send me home.
5. An athlete misses five shots. The coach said angrily: Stupid look at me! After five consecutive shots and still missed, the coach said: See? That's what you just did.
6 Friend Xiao Liao: Lend me 100 yuan, and I'll refuel the car. Me: You're going to get married the day after tomorrow, and you don't even have a hundred yuan on you? Friend Xiao Liao: I was originally rich! It's because I have a wife soon, so I don't have any money! I ......It seems to make sense!
7 At that time, my grandfather died, and I wanted to write a leave note saying that I was going to the funeral, and praised the head teacher for how good and good. I was afraid that the teacher wouldn't have time to read so many words, so I wrote concisely: My grandfather died, and I went to the funeral!
8. I work in the mother and baby store.
Today came two young mothers, holding the baby who is almost half a year old, and asked us what kind of complementary food to add to the child, I gave each of them a bowl of rice cereal, and they slowly fed the baby, and the baby loves to eat.
One said: This rice cereal is very fragrant! I'll try it too!
The other one read it and said to try it, but the two of them ate all the rice cereal in one bite, and the child didn't have to eat it, and he cried ......
I can only mix two more bowls!
9 At the party, someone introduced me to a new friend who said that he had become a millionaire.
Wow! Terrible! Admire, admire!
I sat next to him and quietly asked him to teach me the secrets.
He said to me blankly, "Actually, there is no secret......I turned out to be a multi-millionaire. ”
10 A friend divorced before the Chinese New Year, has not found a house, and lives with her husband in a three-bedroom house and separates, to be exact, "ex-husband", just now she sent a circle, "What if you don't return to work, and if you continue like this, you will have feelings with your husband!" ”
11A couple was studying on their own, and the woman asked the man, "What does this word mean?" The man scratched his head: "I just watched it yesterday and forgot it today, you can beat me!" After saying that, the woman hit the man and told him the meaning of the word. A few days later, the two went to self-study again, and the woman asked the man again about the meaning of the word, only to see the man blushing and scratching his head and saying, "Hehe, I forgot, I just remember that you hit me!" ”
12My nephew came to my wife and said, "Come with me, my uncle has lost you to me."
My little nephew was playing poker, and I told him, "If you can win this hand, you can take one of my things at home."
I didn't expect him to really win, walked around the house, picked up my phone and looked at it without interest;
I can't hold my TV, ......
Finally, he walked up to my wife and said, "Come with me, my uncle has lost you to me."