1In a noodle restaurant, a husband and wife were eating ramen with relish, and suddenly, the wife sighed: "It's delicious, do you know how to make such delicious ramen?" ”
My husband came up without thinking: "Ramen ramen, of course it's pulled out!" ”
2 I went to the dental clinic to have my wisdom teeth extracted, and I saw a very handsome doctor, and I thought that boys should also like rich girls, so I asked, "Does tooth extraction affect my ability to drive a Bentley?" ”
Doctor: "No, it's just that it leaks when you brag." ”
3 wife, she seduced me.
My brother went to a class reunion, and he drank almost a fragment, and he only remembered himself from his first girlfriend. I woke up early this morning and found myself lying on the bed with many traces of being kissed, and my first girlfriend was standing beside me! At this moment, my sister-in-law came in, and my brother quickly knelt down: "Wife, she seduced me, don't blame me." The sister-in-law glanced at her brother: "What are you excited about, on the way back last night when this sister sent you back, you were bitten by the dog next door!" "Brother: "Ah......”
4 colleague sister to their dog on the ** bought socks, today the socks arrived, she looked at it and yelled at the shopkeeper to send the wrong it, I only need a pair of how to mail two pairs of exactly the same, and then everyone did not react, she hit ** to her own mother, in dialect said I obviously bought a pair, why did he mail me four, her mother calmly said, "Our dog seems to have four legs!"
5 The Chinese foreigner is named Jack, who is very passionate about Chinese culture and can even speak Chinese fluently. One day, Jack went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, and he ordered a famous Chinese dish, mapo tofu. The waiter quickly brought the dish up, and Jack took a bite and found it to be very spicy. He asked the waiter, "Why is this dish so spicy?" The waiter replied, "This is mapo tofu, of course it's spicy!" When Jack heard this, it suddenly dawned on him that "Mapo" means "very spicy mother-in-law"!
6A young couple went to see an art exhibition. The wife, who was highly short-sighted, stood in front of a large painting and looked at the old man carefully for a long time, and then cried out loudly: "Oh my God! Why is this woman so ugly? I'm embarrassed to hang it on display here! ”
My dear, don't make a fuss", the husband hurriedly stepped forward and quietly told his wife: "This is not a painting, it is a mirror. ”
7 In an old-fashioned barbershop in Shanghai, an old man insisted that the barber give him a "young and fashionable" haircut. The barber smiled wryly and tried his best to accommodate his request. In the end, the old man's new hairstyle drew applause and laughter from the customers in the store.
8 On a starry night, mother and son were playing in the yard. The mother said to her son, "Baby, how many stars are there in the sky?" The son raised his head and counted it earnestly, and after a while, he said, "Mom, it's too dark to count, wait until dawn to count."
9 sister paper has a pit of girlfriends, because she has been single, I told my boyfriend's friend about her buckle ......
The buddy went back and contacted her on the buckle and said: Do you know Xiaoshu? (That's what my friends call me).
Who knows that her best friend asks: Is she beautiful?
That buddy replied: Beautiful.
Girlfriend replied: Then we shouldn't know the same Xiaoshu!
I'll go, and you'll repay me like that!
10 Serving a woman is not so simple.
Brother: Big brother, what's wrong with you?
Big Brother: Alas, I was beaten by your sister-in-law.
Brother: What's the situation?
Big brother: That day, she said she was going to go to beauty and asked me for 1,000, but I was afraid that she wouldn't have enough money, so I gave 5,000 ......And then ......Your sister-in-law is furious and says I think she is ugly!
11Son: Dad, send me to school today.
Me: What do you want to buy?
Son: No, our teacher said yesterday that I want to see what kind of bear you look like, and you can give birth to such a naughty son!
12 When I went out to buy breakfast, I saw a man with a mask snatching a beautiful woman's bag when I passed by an alley, I didn't think about it, I rushed over and beat the mask man away, and then when I returned the bag to the beauty, she looked at me affectionately and said to me: If it weren't for your ugliness, I would have promised ...... with my body
Alas, now little girl! It's too direct!