Middle age is a difficult time. "It's hard to live a challenging life right now. If you are too kind, you will be misunderstood as weak; Once it has some advantages, it can lead to repression and rejection.
Former educator Sukhomlisky once said: "Five years of hard work can certainly become an engineer, but learning how to become a person is a lifelong subject."
After entering society, we left the simple campus and began to truly appreciate the complexity of human relationships. If you're not careful, you'll fall into the trap of socializing. Many people feel helpless in the face of social pressure. But not being able to avoid socializing altogether is a conundrum.
There is a way of life called "becoming blessed". It means having a broad mind and vision, and it can also serve as a quiet growth, moving forward and moving forward with ease. Therefore, I suggest that middle-aged people should learn to "pretend" when dealing with interpersonal relationships, not showing their own edge, but also refusing to hurt others.
In the face of competitors, temporarily keep a low profile and resolve contradictions.
As the saying goes: "The Buddha competes for incense, and people compete for qi." "If you don't fight for anything, it's going to be hard to achieve and you might be looked down upon.
In competition, there are often opponents and sometimes conflicts. In particular, peers are often competitors to each other, and it is difficult to coexist harmoniously.
Many choose to fight their opponents to the death, and as a result, their strength is exhausted and they can no longer stand up. Smart people will keep a low profile for a while and maintain their power.
For example, during the Second World War, a young German named Rusdenor was sent to intercept Soviet planes in order to intercept a kind of secret **. However, when he found out that the pilot was an immature young man, he could not bear to shoot. Just as he hesitated, the Soviet pilot knocked him unconscious with a stone and fled.
A few years later, World War II ended, and the situation calmed down. Rusdenor received a letter inviting him to Stalingrad to attend the **. At the ** meeting, he recognized him as the pilot who knocked him unconscious with a stone years ago. The two of them turned from enemies to friends, leaving behind a beautiful story.
Life is like a plot in a book, full of unexpected plots. The best thing to do is to maintain friendships and open the door for beautiful encounters in the future. In the face of competitors, there is no need to be too aggressive, appropriate concessions can maintain the possibility of cooperation and mutual growth. Aggressive behavior only prompts the other person to fight back, so why bother?
Blend in with the crowd, keep a low profile, and avoid confrontation.
A crowd is often a collection of people of all kinds. While you may not want to, you must attend parties, dinners, and socialize with classmates, colleagues, and clients. In these groups, you may want to show off to impress yourself, or praise others to make a good impression.
However, it is an easy target in the crowd. If you make a mistake, you could be a target.
As early as the end of the Qing Dynasty, Cixi's younger brother Gui Xiang wanted to get ahead and become an official, but he had no ambition. Once, Gui Xiang was sent to Tianjin to lead troops, and he saw a flag in the barracks that read "Sa Guixiang", which he thought was a bad omen, meaning "kill Guixiang". Therefore, he chose not to be an official and went home to live peacefully.
Sometimes, a little ignorance, a little bit of loss is not a bad thing. Facing a complex world with a simple attitude is sometimes the best option. In public, you can benefit more if you can pretend not to understand, so that people don't have to be wary and can see the truth of the matter from the sidelines.
Be humble when dealing with your family and avoid conflict.
A harmonious family, everyone knows the wise saying.
But how to achieve family harmony? It requires you to keep trying, rather than forcing everyone to do what you want.
He carefully taught his son to play the piano, while at the same time sending his other son to a regular school without learning any art. However, when his son wanted to go to the high school attached to ** College, he was opposed by Fu Lei.
Two sons of the same father were treated differently, and for Fu Min, the difference was incomprehensible. However, many years later, Fu Min became a teacher, thinking about the meaning of life and understanding family. He stopped complaining, collected and published his letters.
Regarding his father's teachings, Fu Min said: "He taught me the basic principles of being a human being, which will benefit me for the rest of my life." ”
When you reach middle age, as a parent, you understand the difficulties of family. In addition to taking care of their own families, they also need to manage the relationship between parents and siblings, and also teach their children how to behave and how to handle family affairs.
With the right amount of pretending to be confused, a little bit of loss is actually a blessing. This way you will be more understanding of the difficulties of parents without forcing your child to be a "big shot".
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the next one will taste like. No matter what the taste is, praise it, it's the best attitude. The backs of the hands are meat after all, so why hurt each other?
Social relationships in middle age are complex, but if you think about it, they usually involve only three categories: "competitors, fellow travelers, and family." "If you need to, hide yourself, make others feel comfortable and feel better too.
In interpersonal relationships, there are many friends and wide roads, but there are many enemies, and there will be many obstacles. Maybe it would be better without an enemy. At first it was just a disguise, but then it became a habit and became a part of life. The world is complex, but we try to keep it simple.