In Carnegie's classic book The Weakness of Human Nature, he profoundly revealed a sad life situation: the most pitiful person in the world is that he lacks the virtues to stand out from the crowd, but chooses to hide his deep inferiority complex in an offensive way—excessive arrogance and self-promotion.
Once upon a time, we once believed that life requires a high-profile posture in order to win the attention, recognition and respect of others.
However, with the passage of time, half a life of ups and downs, and witnessing all kinds of ruthlessness in the real world, we suddenly realized a painful truth:
The more ostentatious a person is, the more sad the end tends to be; Behind all high-profile acts, there is nothing more than a kind of false exaltation and trampling on self-worth.
Especially in middle age, if you continue to maintain a high-profile posture on the following three things, then bitter lessons will follow.
A high-profile goal is a harbinger of failure
A few years ago, his friend Chen Hao had a keen insight into the huge potential of the maternal and infant industry, and resolutely quit his job and devoted himself to opening a maternal and infant products store.
On the day of the opening ceremony, many relatives and friends came to send him blessings.
Chen Hao was ambitious in his speech: "I have set a goal to expand to three branches in the city within three years, and the five-year blueprint is aimed at ten chain stores, and I am determined to buy a spacious 140-square-meter residence for my family." ”
The audience was infected by his ambition, and enthusiastic applause and cheers came one after another, including some people quipped: "When you are soaring, don't forget our old friends!" ”
However, the glory of that moment did not last long, and Chen Hao seemed too optimistic in the face of reality. After the opening of the mother and baby store, the sales never met expectations, and even suffered many malicious complaints from competitors, which made it difficult to cope.
What makes Chen Hao even more troubled is that some relatives often come to disturb for various reasons, some are idle and want to find an errand, and some take their children to try to take advantage of some small advantages, either take away one or two cans of milk powder, or take a few pieces of clothing, and say confidently: "Mr. Chen, you are a big man who wants to open a chain store, this little money is nothing to you, just settle it together next time." ”
Faced with such a situation, Chen Hao, out of face and family affection, could only agree with a smile. As time went on, the debts owed by friends and family gradually increased, the market competition became more and more intense, and the sales of the store gradually declined, and it fell into the dilemma of making ends meet.
Chen Hao had no choice but to ask relatives and friends for help to borrow money, but what he got was all kinds of excuses. In the end, he had to mortgage his 90-square-meter house to the bank and borrow 800,000 yuan in order to turn the tide.
Unfortunately, this huge amount of money still failed to save the fate of the store, and the following year, Chen Hao could only reluctantly transfer the store at a low price under heavy pressure.
After the failure of the business, Chen Hao fell into decadence for a while, and some relatives did not give comfort, but took the opportunity to sneer: "We are still looking forward to your big house, why is the store closed?" ”
In the pursuit of goals, over-ostentation often portends a potential risk of failure. As a wise saying explains: "True determination is like an undercurrent, silent and firm; Those high-profile vows and declarations are often nothing more than a bluff. ”
Having expectations and clear goals is undoubtedly a positive sign, but the key is to be cautious about these expectations, so as not to publicize them too much and add unnecessary distress and sorrow to yourself.
The real world is full of cruel competition, and the human heart has its own complex and sinister side, and when you reveal your ambitions easily, it will not only not help you, but may attract ridicule and jealousy from others.
It is important to know that in this world, there are not many people who really want you to succeed, and more people may be waiting for your mistakes to satisfy their mentality of watching the excitement.
For middle-aged people, they are no longer ignorant children, and their dreams are no longer shouted by slogans, but need to be realized through real efforts. Things have to be done bit by bit, and the goal must be approached step by step.
Walking every step in a down-to-earth manner, accumulating strength in a silent place, and quietly completing self-transformation are the basic rules of real life.
Emotional high-profile is a quagmire of reality
Have you ever encountered such a type of person in our daily life?
It's almost impossible to capture the moments of peace and composure in their hearts, and they are constantly complaining about life's unfairness or emotionally blaming others.
They are like a ticking time bomb, and when faced with anything unsatisfactory in life, they will instantly erupt into a thunderous rage, completely ignoring the influence of their surroundings and the feelings of others.
There was a period of Internet ** that attracted widespread attention:
In the picture, a man and his family accompanied his father to seek medical treatment, and on the way to the hospital, he was stopped by the traffic police due to overloading of the vehicle, and was fined 50 yuan and deducted 6 points in accordance with the regulations.
The man tried his best to plead with the traffic police to waive the demerit points, but the traffic police insisted on performing their duties in accordance with the law, saying that they could not be accommodating.
When the man's request failed, his emotions were out of control like a wild horse, and he dragged his 3-year-old son out of the car, and threw him to the ground, accompanied by a loud roar: "Since I said overloaded, then I don't want children!" ”
The innocent child was thrown so hard that he cried out in pain and bled from his forehead and nose, which made the surrounding bystanders and family members strongly condemn the man's actions.
Seeing his son's face covered in blood, the man began to show remorse, but before his anger subsided, he shouted at the traffic police: "Fine, fine, hurry up and finish the ticket so that I can go." ”
However, in view of the man's extreme emotional instability and concern that his driving may pose a safety hazard, the traffic police again rejected his request and advised him to calm down before leaving the scene. At the same time, the traffic police promised to arrange special personnel to escort the elderly and children to the hospital for treatment.
Eventually, the man sat down on the side of the road in remorse, and it was only then that he realized that he was deeply aware of
Instead of solving any problems, his impulsiveness and irritability have made things worse, even causing innocent children to suffer unjustly.
In the realm of psychology, there is a unique concept - "emotional giant baby". The term depicts individuals who are adults, but who are like unweaned children, who are unable to manage their emotions and act according to their own wishes, and who lose control of their emotions and lose their temper when they disobey, completely ignoring the emotional reactions of others and the possible consequences.
In their mental model, emotional outbursts are mistaken for a means of demonstrating their strength.
However, the real world reveals a completely different truth: the truly strong often choose to silently internalize their emotional waves, which is where the inner logic of the strong lies.
A truly strong person is as stable as a rock in his heart, and he will not easily let his joys, sorrows, and sorrows flow on the surface, nor will he talk about the pain of life.
By the time they reach the middle of their life's journey, they have learned to deal with the vagaries of life with a calm and calm attitude, and uphold the wisdom philosophy of "responding to all changes with the same".
High-profile and flamboyant emotions will only make people fall into the quagmire of practical predicament; Dealing with emotions in a low-key manner can effectively resolve the bitter taste of life.
Therefore, let us strive to be a quiet, calm and mature adult, and in this attitude, you will find another possibility in life - where there is no lightning and thunder and storms, only the quiet and distant clouds and light winds.
Posture is the poison of life
A netizen once shared a workplace episode that he personally experienced:
In the face of a promotion opportunity, this netizen and a senior senior in the company became candidates together. Due to the senior's deep qualifications and the approaching retirement age, netizens think that the chances of winning are slim.
However, in the public voting session, many colleagues voted for this netizen with their precious votes, which surprised him. It was only after communicating with colleagues close to him that he learned the truth behind the scenes.
It turned out that the senior relied on his long-term service experience in the company, and often showed an attitude of relying on the old and selling the old, pointing fingers at the work of other colleagues and interfering a lot.
Although colleagues did not say much about this on the surface, deep down they were quite dissatisfied with this behavior, fearing that if their seniors were promoted, they might be even more arrogant.
At the same time, this netizen has always been humble and low-key, and has always adhered to the principle of being conscientious, responsible, and trustworthy in his work, and has naturally won the recognition and favor of his colleagues, becoming the ideal candidate in their hearts.
The leadership was originally inclined to give this promotion opportunity to the senior, but in the face of the desire of the people, they could only conform to the public opinion and express a few words of regret and comfort to the senior.
In-depth analysis, the respective life circumstances of netizens and predecessors actually laid the groundwork early in their philosophy of dealing with the world. The arrogant posture is like the bitter medicine of life, and the more people rise above the clouds, the heavier the resistance in life becomes.
The real powerhouse in reality has long abandoned the arrogant shell of flashy vanity, leaving only the introverted and low-key quality of deep wisdom and wisdom.
For example, the American educator Perkins, who was elected president of the University of Chicago at the age of 30, did not get angry or defend himself in the face of many questions about his young qualifications.
Perkins replied with a nonchalant smile: "For a 30-year-old, I know very little, and I need to rely on my assistant and ** principal a lot. His humility and thorough preparation dispelled all doubts.
I deeply remember the saying: "Life is like ups and downs, and our attitude when we are at the trough is a rehearsal of our posture when we climb to the peak." ”
The most admirable state of a person is not the moment of arrogance, but the light and unassuming attitude of life.
All beings in the world have dignity, and no one wants to be looked down upon by others, and no one is willing to indulge the arrogance of others. All the exaltation is tantamount to self-imposed limits and predicts future decline.
The rest of your life is long, and if you want to live a smooth life, you must uphold a humble and gentle heart, and be kind to others. Because, when you give respect to others, others will also reciprocate with warmth.
This mutual respect and understanding is the precious wealth in the journey of life.
Writer Feng Jicai once profoundly elaborated:
Choosing a low profile is to be able to work hard in the territory of one's own world, while choosing a high profile is to leave a mark on the world constructed by others. However, being low-key does not mean being humble, it is actually internalizing the focus of life and returning to the exploration and realization of self-worth.
Not swayed by the eyes of the outside world, not bound by the evaluation of others, we should focus on painting a unique picture of our own life.
No matter how vast the dream, how deep the grievance is, and how high and agitated the heart, there is no need to rush to announce it to the world, because true growth and achievement are often nurtured in silence.
After all, many experiences in life need us to chew, digest and comprehend by ourselves, and constantly accumulate experience and energy through inner precipitation and accumulation.
When our hearts become tenacious and full due to experience, we are no longer keen on any form of show-off and display, but devote ourselves to living our own unique color of life.
Here, I sincerely invite you to light up [Attention], and wish you and I to laugh at impermanence in the ups and downs of fate, listen to the truth in the hustle and bustle of people, and spend every moment of the rest of our lives leisurely with a calm and unhurried attitude.